(no subject)
So today I officially sold my horse. I no longer own a horse, but I do (sorta) own a mini, just because I say he's mine. Hopefully once I get out of college I'll be able to buy a new horse and do whatever it is I am going to do with it. My parents have decided to take almost half of the money that I was paid for him because "times are hard" so I was giving my mom a hard time about it (after agreeing that they can have it) in a jesting manner and she got really offended. So then I just continued to bust her balls about it. She called me a little bitch quite a few times, but come on... if someone decided that they wanted $2,000 from you, its not like you can just hand it over with a smile. Whatever. She said that if she ever had it again I'd get the money back, and I do not expect to see that money again. All is well, and Christmas is coming, so perhaps I will ask for more than just a GPS. I do need a new pair of shoes...
My mom feels bad for me, my friends feel bad for me, and I know I should be upset (I kind of am, not having a horse is a pain in the butt, surprisingly), but I am currently an emotional cripple. I don't think I have cried in over a year. I have that moment where like... my nose and eyes tingle like I'm going to cry if I think about it long enough, but then nothing. I think its a defense mechanism because if I reacted to everything that has been happening, I would be dehydrated or locked up in a mental institution. Seriously, this has been the worst year of my life. Whatever could go wrong, has and probably will continue to go wrong. I am so burnt out. I just hate everything.
Phew. Feels good to blow up a little bit. Sorry if you read that, nothing important.
My mom feels bad for me, my friends feel bad for me, and I know I should be upset (I kind of am, not having a horse is a pain in the butt, surprisingly), but I am currently an emotional cripple. I don't think I have cried in over a year. I have that moment where like... my nose and eyes tingle like I'm going to cry if I think about it long enough, but then nothing. I think its a defense mechanism because if I reacted to everything that has been happening, I would be dehydrated or locked up in a mental institution. Seriously, this has been the worst year of my life. Whatever could go wrong, has and probably will continue to go wrong. I am so burnt out. I just hate everything.
Phew. Feels good to blow up a little bit. Sorry if you read that, nothing important.