grounded again
joy. this time by my dad. came home at 1106. wow. so late. he woke me up to yell at me. he scared the dog to where she would jump when he spoke and finally just ran behind me. he is so passive aggressive wich is what he yells at us for. monday night me and harry went out to see grindhouse which didnt get over until like 1230 am. i called home expecting to talk to my mother and instead it was my dad. He said that i must not think my curfew is important and to just come home whenever i felt like it, then hung up on me. okay. fine. i was tempted to just not come home but instead i was home by 12. i knew he wanted me home then, but personally i was kinda pissed. i at least came home. he thought i had school the next day...i should have told him to look on the board.
< daplyn was there with harry...be careful...>
she wants me to do her hair for semi. im working. when can i come over to show her mom how. never.
he kept going abt how i come home right before 11. ok and when i do coem home he is playing games. last night he said he thought i was home already. gee...where was my car? where was i? so happy he cares. i dont even know for how long.
the sad part is...i do care. he thinks i am being blatantly defiant when really i had a really bad day and needed some comforting. i set the alarm for 1040 so i could be home early but then fell back asleep. i woke up at 1102 and shit i have to go. harry didnt even get a kiss good night. but hes right i dont care.
i dont work in the custard stand at Generals anymore because my boss found out that i work at ritas around the corner. then i had to explain to her why i did that. i just cant be there. she wont understand that and either will my father. im happy im leaving. i need to get out of this town. need to stop seeing her, remembering us, explaining how i could be with him.
if he wants to treat me like my sister then i will treat him like she does. if i can.
i cried myself to sleep last night. i think part was being pissed off at myself for just letting my father tear me down like he does. i want so much to stand up to him, but i still dont want to hurt him. the rest was me just collapsing the day, knowing how much i just wanted to go running but couldnt for dif reasons, wanting so much to call harry but not beign able to pick up the phone and knowing that he couldnt help me.
i thought abt just not waking up this morning or just taking a run and not coming back. to say good bye.
< daplyn was there with harry...be careful...>
she wants me to do her hair for semi. im working. when can i come over to show her mom how. never.
he kept going abt how i come home right before 11. ok and when i do coem home he is playing games. last night he said he thought i was home already. gee...where was my car? where was i? so happy he cares. i dont even know for how long.
the sad part is...i do care. he thinks i am being blatantly defiant when really i had a really bad day and needed some comforting. i set the alarm for 1040 so i could be home early but then fell back asleep. i woke up at 1102 and shit i have to go. harry didnt even get a kiss good night. but hes right i dont care.
i dont work in the custard stand at Generals anymore because my boss found out that i work at ritas around the corner. then i had to explain to her why i did that. i just cant be there. she wont understand that and either will my father. im happy im leaving. i need to get out of this town. need to stop seeing her, remembering us, explaining how i could be with him.
if he wants to treat me like my sister then i will treat him like she does. if i can.
i cried myself to sleep last night. i think part was being pissed off at myself for just letting my father tear me down like he does. i want so much to stand up to him, but i still dont want to hurt him. the rest was me just collapsing the day, knowing how much i just wanted to go running but couldnt for dif reasons, wanting so much to call harry but not beign able to pick up the phone and knowing that he couldnt help me.
i thought abt just not waking up this morning or just taking a run and not coming back. to say good bye.