Apr 06, 2010 22:53
I know I am not bi polar, in fact I am probably one of the more emotionally stable people on the planet. So stable in fact, that I would venture to say that it could be categorized as unhealthily stable. Underneath that emotional stability there is a veritable roller coaster of emotions.
Take right now for example. For the past year,I have been hopping from job to job, place to place, emotional state to emotional state. For some reason, I start a job or school semester or hobby, and take right to it. I excel at the very beginning, but then I enter this sort of limbo zone about three months after I start. I find it difficult to motivate myself, perform at the necessary level and find myself looking forward or back to other points of my life. Points of my life that I hated to be in when I was there, or at least after four months anyways.
I try to fight these lapses in drive and find that I lack the dedication to really apply myself to completing the task at hand. I have always had this problem during school, but I assumed that it would be something that disappeared or diminished with maturity. Apparently not.
The thing is, that I feel that I am on the precipice of something great, but I don't know what. I can feel it, but I can't see it. I can smell it, but I can't taste it. I just get the impression that this emotional roller coaster is not a good thing.