A Change of Heart
Well, I felt pretty depressed this morning after everything that happened with Andy last night. It kind of felt like being homesick, just longing for somebody. I prayed pretty hard for a while, then God answered my prayers (even in my timing!) and healed my heart. Now I'm OK with everything and can see the good in it. I'm still not exactly sure how to relate to Andy now, but at least we're on good terms. God is still trying to work patience in me a guess, and contentment. The choir director today said that wishing and hoping for things God hasn't given you right now is coveting. I've never thought of it like that before, but it kinda makes sense. There's no sense moping about, "hoping" for what isn't yours.
It feels good to know that so many people are praying for me (and him). I'm doing my best to support him because I know it's really hard for him too. I really hope this all turns out the way I imagine (or better). It's just really hard to forget something so memorable and pleasant. I still want to flirt with him, but I don't want to cause him torment or regret. I just want to be here when he's ready. As hard as it is, it must be done and I accept that. I'm glad it didn't happen any later on. Luckily this was enough time for me to bounce back from the downpour of emotions before the Formal. We're still going to go as friends and I'm still excited about it.
I am SO THANKFUL for girlfriends up here to share things with (especially Hannah R. [and P.] and Emily S.). Hannah R. was right there for me when I needed someone to talk to the most (last night) and Emily was there this morning when I felt down. I even got to talk to my family tonight. It was so nice. I miss them tons and I wish I could hug them, but I still have to wait 3 weeks. I'm glad I got to get it all out and share everything with them even though Dad made it sound kinda bad. I don't really know what he thinks of Andy now, but I hope it doesn't hurt his reputation in the long run.
It feels good to know that so many people are praying for me (and him). I'm doing my best to support him because I know it's really hard for him too. I really hope this all turns out the way I imagine (or better). It's just really hard to forget something so memorable and pleasant. I still want to flirt with him, but I don't want to cause him torment or regret. I just want to be here when he's ready. As hard as it is, it must be done and I accept that. I'm glad it didn't happen any later on. Luckily this was enough time for me to bounce back from the downpour of emotions before the Formal. We're still going to go as friends and I'm still excited about it.
I am SO THANKFUL for girlfriends up here to share things with (especially Hannah R. [and P.] and Emily S.). Hannah R. was right there for me when I needed someone to talk to the most (last night) and Emily was there this morning when I felt down. I even got to talk to my family tonight. It was so nice. I miss them tons and I wish I could hug them, but I still have to wait 3 weeks. I'm glad I got to get it all out and share everything with them even though Dad made it sound kinda bad. I don't really know what he thinks of Andy now, but I hope it doesn't hurt his reputation in the long run.