Spiritual Life
Well, I was certainly touched by Doug's sermon at church today. Though I don't fight outwardly, I think I do struggle quite a bit inside myself. And more than just that aspect, I am recognizing some of my motives. Man, it just seems like I can't change! I know I can't do anything on my own, but I have asked God countless times to change me from the inside out and make me more like Jesus. Yet here I am again, begging to be more holy and pure, but never seeing any difference in my life. Why?! I have realized before that I think quite often my pleasure or comfort becomes my god, but how do I stop that? I pray and pray and it feels like I hear no answer! Then I thought once again that perhaps it is because I do not nearly often enough shut off ALL the noise and distractions, but then when I do it the best I can, my mind just starts wandering; sometimes innocently other times in dirty things. I hate my sinful self! Why does this Christian life have to be so difficult? My mind is constantly spinning and thinking of all the things I do wrong on a regular basis and wondering if I will ever be able to break my sin habits.I fail God every single day and I feel like there's no stopping it, but I guess there isn't because I know I will never be perfect in this life even though I try my best. "Lord, I need you more than words can express. I am the worst of sinners in desperate need of a savior. I need your peace and your love, your comfort and your grace. Help me to share these with everyone I meet because we all need you."