(no subject)
I had to work friday evening and half of the night again. Since there is some crazy person in malmo who have shot 15 people the last few weeks. It felt really scary to bike to work and home. I saw serveral police cars passing me by on both ways. I felt the Ladies presence very strong all the way. So i wasnt that scared. Just worried that I wouldnt have the strength to bike home, since I was so tired and had been up for 25 hours. But it went well. I had to walk a bit of the way. I am happy I dont live that far from work. It took me 30 minutes. It was too late to takre the bus, and that would take longer time, cause it is another bus then the one I usually take. It is dangerous to wait on the bus in a lonely place in the middle of the night. On the bike one can atleast have a chance to escape if something would happened. It is not like I havent biked tousand times earlier in the middle of the night from or to work, from parties. But I cant say that I enjoy working nights, late evenings. I am used to not having enough sleep.
I have written down many of the chakra affirmations I posted last week and some other affirmations I found. I am going to put the on my wall and paint fantasy creatures around them. I will use these affirmation a lot, to change my thoughts, attitude and behaviour. I noticed that some of the affirmations was hard to write down. It felt that they would make me to strong, happy, confident and that The Gods would mind me using that. I realy do wanna use them. So i talked about it with The Goddesses yesterday on the fullmoon ritual. Of course They didnt mind me using it. So I will make art of it and use it. Affirmations are very effective in changing behaviour and attitude, get away from abusive destructive behaviour. I feel rather silly for being so insecure that i didnt dare to use some of it without asking for permission. I am a bit obessed with not doing anything wrong, that They would mind something I do. I also see now more clearly, how I get these anxiety and panic episodes, just by focus on something negstive or dont do something that I feel is good for me, I am aloud to do but are to stubborn to do cause it may satisfy the one I would do it with.
My dad has left Sweden, has gone back to Slovenia where he lives, YAAAAY. I am so happy that I dont have to run into him often. My mum was a bit sad that my sister was so much with him. I comforted her and triggered her annoyance so she wouldnt feel to lonely and get back to him. That is the last thing i want. I told my mum about my sugar crashes, overeating and that i probably would go to a meeting for it. And weight watchers to eat better. For when I am stressed out, feel pressured I eat very badly and i tend to abuse caffeine drinks like redbull, coke, sweets, fatty food. My body cant handle that. my mum was very supportive about that. I really should go to some meetings, although chakra affirmations and yoga may be enough. I have so little sparetime. Exercising and yoga is giving me more energy.
I have written down many of the chakra affirmations I posted last week and some other affirmations I found. I am going to put the on my wall and paint fantasy creatures around them. I will use these affirmation a lot, to change my thoughts, attitude and behaviour. I noticed that some of the affirmations was hard to write down. It felt that they would make me to strong, happy, confident and that The Gods would mind me using that. I realy do wanna use them. So i talked about it with The Goddesses yesterday on the fullmoon ritual. Of course They didnt mind me using it. So I will make art of it and use it. Affirmations are very effective in changing behaviour and attitude, get away from abusive destructive behaviour. I feel rather silly for being so insecure that i didnt dare to use some of it without asking for permission. I am a bit obessed with not doing anything wrong, that They would mind something I do. I also see now more clearly, how I get these anxiety and panic episodes, just by focus on something negstive or dont do something that I feel is good for me, I am aloud to do but are to stubborn to do cause it may satisfy the one I would do it with.
My dad has left Sweden, has gone back to Slovenia where he lives, YAAAAY. I am so happy that I dont have to run into him often. My mum was a bit sad that my sister was so much with him. I comforted her and triggered her annoyance so she wouldnt feel to lonely and get back to him. That is the last thing i want. I told my mum about my sugar crashes, overeating and that i probably would go to a meeting for it. And weight watchers to eat better. For when I am stressed out, feel pressured I eat very badly and i tend to abuse caffeine drinks like redbull, coke, sweets, fatty food. My body cant handle that. my mum was very supportive about that. I really should go to some meetings, although chakra affirmations and yoga may be enough. I have so little sparetime. Exercising and yoga is giving me more energy.