Samhain is coming up
I am almost done with my chakra affirmation art. I need to put on more details then I will put them on flickr, before Samhain on sunday. Loads of unresolved pain and strange delusional things has come up to the surface. It was rough, but it passed away more quickly then earlier. I get the feeling Morgana makes me face it as a part of the healing process. The Morrigan is pushing me forward it feels like anyway. I call on Her in despair and anger and can then easier do what needs to be done. It was harsh to understand it included some delusional stuff as well. I suppose I far too easy feel that the God(s) are harming/hurting me then that they are helping me even if the process gives me pain as well as feelings of being screwed, played with cheated. Well I do fear some would do that to me, just for their own amusement or to controle me. Cause that is what it feels like, but see it that dark makes me very panicy scared and angry. That is so uneccessarry when I can just accept it and trust Her, accept The Ladies words for it. Cause what They do to me is for my benefit even if i may not understand it for a long, long time, if ever at some rare cases. Note to self to remember that.
I am going to do a ritual on Samhain in the dawn outside. I am asked to do it by The Morrigan and Morgana. It feels ok, I hope it will nice wheather. I will make some apple pie and have some brew as offering. Meditate and dance around for awhile there, besides walking. In the evening I will do some more rituals and spells. I am getting used to that The Ladies are asking me to go out to some place in the nature around the sabbats and larger moonphases. Since I get to know it serveral days before I can arrange my sheduele to it. I am happy for that. It is really nice to get outside but I may feel a bit grumpy and stressed out before it. I do try to avoid letting it be too noisy. More like I try to hide it from Them. I know it doesnt work. I am just used to fight and rebell against everything I am asked to do then think about it and make the best out of it. I am working on it. There is no need to fight over everything. I like the thought of Samhain is the celtic new year and I do hope for a better more healthy prosberious year. If I will keep having this job I may be able to come to both Ireland and Wales, and even take some shorter week class at an artschool 600 kilometers from here. The Morrigan have mentioned something about that place and school serveral times, but all I can make of it is that I will get there and choose that before Ireland( The course cost just as much). So we will what will happen
I am going to do a ritual on Samhain in the dawn outside. I am asked to do it by The Morrigan and Morgana. It feels ok, I hope it will nice wheather. I will make some apple pie and have some brew as offering. Meditate and dance around for awhile there, besides walking. In the evening I will do some more rituals and spells. I am getting used to that The Ladies are asking me to go out to some place in the nature around the sabbats and larger moonphases. Since I get to know it serveral days before I can arrange my sheduele to it. I am happy for that. It is really nice to get outside but I may feel a bit grumpy and stressed out before it. I do try to avoid letting it be too noisy. More like I try to hide it from Them. I know it doesnt work. I am just used to fight and rebell against everything I am asked to do then think about it and make the best out of it. I am working on it. There is no need to fight over everything. I like the thought of Samhain is the celtic new year and I do hope for a better more healthy prosberious year. If I will keep having this job I may be able to come to both Ireland and Wales, and even take some shorter week class at an artschool 600 kilometers from here. The Morrigan have mentioned something about that place and school serveral times, but all I can make of it is that I will get there and choose that before Ireland( The course cost just as much). So we will what will happen