Just when I say I'm high-functioning....

Mar 22, 2010 11:53

my brain decides that I can't handle shit.

behind the curtain. Disclaimer: this is LONG )

rituals, depression, mood, insecurities

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chronarchy March 22 2010, 22:14:46 UTC
There are hugs available if you require them, and hugs require no words. They're just there. And just about anyone will be more than happy to provide one.

Not every ritual will speak to everyone (though I like to think that our rites speak to more people than the average Pagan rite out there). This one didn't speak to you, and that's okay. It happens. If we could get you into that awesome OMGIt'sReligionTime! frame of mind every time, we'd be a cult or drug dealers, not a group of tree-hugging-dirt-worshipers. (James, in his Varieties of Religious Experience, indicates that one of the primary determining factors of a mystical experience is that it cannot be reliably induced).

Anyway, it's not you that's broken if you don't get stuff out of it. It just means that we need to figure out what it is that didn't work for you and fix it for next time.

Seamus and I have comments about the rite, what was going right and what was going wrong. We'll be reviewing them. It wasn't perfect. It was good, but there is, as there always is, room for

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seamus_mcnasty March 23 2010, 02:29:43 UTC
just know we care about you and we don't always know how easy it is to embarass you or upset you. Sometimes things are said as our way of coping...
you do belong in the grove. you are wanted, loved and needed. I don't know what we can do or say to prove it to you. I am truly sorry that I made matters worse for you yesterday. My intent was pure but I am learning about all the people of the grove and their ways...HUGS

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ravenna_blue March 23 2010, 02:42:52 UTC
Seamus, firstly, I want to let you know I'm not upset with you. That's the hardest part of feeling what I feel. I'm not mad at you or Nick or Joe or anyone ( ... )

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tosk March 25 2010, 18:49:11 UTC
You can always just add Eris to your list of Deities... then you can get mad at her when that sort of thing happens ;-)

*hug*

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ravenna_blue March 25 2010, 18:55:22 UTC
Yeah, I already gave her offerings last month for a long string of mishaps at my Musical.

I totally blamed Dangler!

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dubhlainn March 27 2010, 08:30:36 UTC
I have this feeling that there is an expectation that I am the "funny one" who is always there with a quip to make people laugh.

I run into this as well. I was even told at festival season last summer "what's wrong with you, you are normally funny!" when I was struggling a bit.

But I am learning it is not true. Those expectations, I know, are my own hang up not others. I know that a lot of people in ADF only want me to be me (they may encourage me to be my best me, but that is not the same as expecting me to be something different).

I don't know you well, so maybe I should shut up, but I expect your Crane kin only want you to be you and that includes being emotional sometimes and not expressing your hurt well.

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