Thankful for Friends
I’m ridiculously emotional today.
I’m antsy and impatient, waiting for 8:46 to arrive. I keep refreshing the flight info screen, making sure that they haven’t cancelled her flight 6 hours in advance. I obsess over it.
I’m nervous and worried. What is she going to be like? How much has she changed? Will I have to watch what I say? Why is she coming home? Will I want to go beat people up? Will I doubt humanity even more?
I’m sad and tear up randomly. I can’t help but assume the worse about my mom. A friend of mine works in this building and I texted her, "Are you here? Can I have a hug?" I walked down to her suite, entered without thinking twice, and started scanning rooms for her. I found her and collapsed. Held her while crying. Silently. I wasn’t prepared for this today. This is why I want…need…privacy and cubicles.
I don’t know how to handle this, but I’m so thankful for friends. Friends that send me a top 13 playlist or a top 13 blogposts list. Friends that text back and say, "You’re an amazing woman. Don’t let yourself forget that." Friends that I can call at 3 in the morning when I’m worried and need to talk or to sit in silence on the phone. Friends that don’t mind if I show up randomly at their house, needing a hug. Needing someone next to me when I sleep. Really, if it wasn’t for my friends I’d be lost. So lost.
I’m antsy and impatient, waiting for 8:46 to arrive. I keep refreshing the flight info screen, making sure that they haven’t cancelled her flight 6 hours in advance. I obsess over it.
I’m nervous and worried. What is she going to be like? How much has she changed? Will I have to watch what I say? Why is she coming home? Will I want to go beat people up? Will I doubt humanity even more?
I’m sad and tear up randomly. I can’t help but assume the worse about my mom. A friend of mine works in this building and I texted her, "Are you here? Can I have a hug?" I walked down to her suite, entered without thinking twice, and started scanning rooms for her. I found her and collapsed. Held her while crying. Silently. I wasn’t prepared for this today. This is why I want…need…privacy and cubicles.
I don’t know how to handle this, but I’m so thankful for friends. Friends that send me a top 13 playlist or a top 13 blogposts list. Friends that text back and say, "You’re an amazing woman. Don’t let yourself forget that." Friends that I can call at 3 in the morning when I’m worried and need to talk or to sit in silence on the phone. Friends that don’t mind if I show up randomly at their house, needing a hug. Needing someone next to me when I sleep. Really, if it wasn’t for my friends I’d be lost. So lost.