(no subject)
I have writers block.
I’ve been meaning to sit down and just start free writing so maybe I can get back into the habit…but it’s hard. Every time I write something, I, re-read it, and, I don’t like what I wrote or the way I wrote it, and I eventually wind up deleting it, and, I don’t punctuate or spell correctley like I used to, and I, use run-on sentences. And incomplete ones. I feel less articulate, and less creative than I did a month ago. And nothing has changed about my view of the world or my lifestyle, so I don’t know where it came from. I also feel more critical, and without reason. I need to get it out of my head that anything I write about in a stupid blog matters enough for me to criticize and put effort into. I think that’s where my good ideas were coming from. I really like what I wrote about my “life” and the “reason I think I’m stupid.” Those were really funny, and really good. I’m not a conceited person but when I re-read those entries I was entertained by myself. I wish I could do that again. It seems after I wrote those two things I started setting my standards higher. Here’s what I want to produce when I write:
1. Nothing too heavy anymore. I don’t want to talk about the war in Iraq or poetry or anything like that. I’m a random twenty year old whose opinion on politics you probably care less about than Sheryl Crow’s opinions about the proper use of toilet paper.
2. Something you need no background information to enjoy. I don’t want to write something that is hilarious and funny, but you’d have to know me to understand. That’s what I loved about the “reason I think I’m stupid” entry. You don’t need to know who I am or what I’m about to enjoy that. It was a clever humorous piece that anyone can identify with (again I’m not being narcissistic, I just enjoyed writing it/reading it, and got a lot of positive comments on it.)
3. Something clever. It’s hard to describe what I mean by clever. I can’t tell you what clever is because then it would be obvious, and obvious things can’t be clever right?
….clever………….clever clever …..clever……clever clever clever clever…………… that word has lost all meaning right now. Ya know how if you repeat a word too many times it loses meaning? And no, I’m not just trying to demonstrate mental agility and creativity by repeating a word defined by mental agility and creativity so many times that the repetition causes a loss of mental agility to the point of the word clever not making any sense due to the repetition.
Let me tell you right now that it took me like a whole five minutes of re-reading that last point over and over to make sure it made sense. I like it.
Anyways what I’m saying is I haven’t felt on top of my game recently. I read entries that I’ve written in the past and think “wow…I seem way more organized, articulate, and well put together in that entry.” I sincerely doubt I’ll ever re-read this and think the same thing…if I did it would mean I’m getting even more dumb. Whatever. One of these days I’m going to have something good to say again.
I’ve been meaning to sit down and just start free writing so maybe I can get back into the habit…but it’s hard. Every time I write something, I, re-read it, and, I don’t like what I wrote or the way I wrote it, and I eventually wind up deleting it, and, I don’t punctuate or spell correctley like I used to, and I, use run-on sentences. And incomplete ones. I feel less articulate, and less creative than I did a month ago. And nothing has changed about my view of the world or my lifestyle, so I don’t know where it came from. I also feel more critical, and without reason. I need to get it out of my head that anything I write about in a stupid blog matters enough for me to criticize and put effort into. I think that’s where my good ideas were coming from. I really like what I wrote about my “life” and the “reason I think I’m stupid.” Those were really funny, and really good. I’m not a conceited person but when I re-read those entries I was entertained by myself. I wish I could do that again. It seems after I wrote those two things I started setting my standards higher. Here’s what I want to produce when I write:
1. Nothing too heavy anymore. I don’t want to talk about the war in Iraq or poetry or anything like that. I’m a random twenty year old whose opinion on politics you probably care less about than Sheryl Crow’s opinions about the proper use of toilet paper.
2. Something you need no background information to enjoy. I don’t want to write something that is hilarious and funny, but you’d have to know me to understand. That’s what I loved about the “reason I think I’m stupid” entry. You don’t need to know who I am or what I’m about to enjoy that. It was a clever humorous piece that anyone can identify with (again I’m not being narcissistic, I just enjoyed writing it/reading it, and got a lot of positive comments on it.)
3. Something clever. It’s hard to describe what I mean by clever. I can’t tell you what clever is because then it would be obvious, and obvious things can’t be clever right?
….clever………….clever clever …..clever……clever clever clever clever…………… that word has lost all meaning right now. Ya know how if you repeat a word too many times it loses meaning? And no, I’m not just trying to demonstrate mental agility and creativity by repeating a word defined by mental agility and creativity so many times that the repetition causes a loss of mental agility to the point of the word clever not making any sense due to the repetition.
Let me tell you right now that it took me like a whole five minutes of re-reading that last point over and over to make sure it made sense. I like it.
Anyways what I’m saying is I haven’t felt on top of my game recently. I read entries that I’ve written in the past and think “wow…I seem way more organized, articulate, and well put together in that entry.” I sincerely doubt I’ll ever re-read this and think the same thing…if I did it would mean I’m getting even more dumb. Whatever. One of these days I’m going to have something good to say again.