All night long, I dreamt I was scrubbing tile. This is utterly dissapointing on many levels because a) it is exactly like my waking life and b) I have come to expect more from my subconscious.

Where were the talking squirrels, dreams? Where were the elephants having a dinner party, dressed up as the cast of Boardwalk Empire? What happened to ( Read more... )

Yesterday I was loitering in a cafe after work, sating myself with library books and cake - looking at the roofs and trees. Thinking how much I've grown to love this city with its red brick and grey slate and ebullient greenery.


( Read more... )

Apparently the morbid curiosity of the internet IS more powerful than propriety. So, as requested, here is a picture of my severely bruised ass and let that be a lesson to you all in how NOT to descend stairs . I am all about service to the community and teaching by example ( Read more... )

I waited at the till for ten minutes for the woman in front to quit arguing about the price of oranges and stop spewing racist language long enough to hand over £3.02 and move on. She had a half-drunk bottle of wine with her, and whether this contributed significantly to the intense nature of her mental issue I cannot say. Although I did roll my ( Read more... )

Things my child has learned in the last week:

*How to blow kisses

*How to blow soap bubbles

*How to carefully put a cap onto a bottle and then unscrew it again

*How to chant 'Yes yes yes!' with the fervour of Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally when he spots something he's keen on ( Read more... )

Capturing good footage of baby antics is a bit like being a wildlife photographer. You camp out in the subject's natural habitat, you lie in wait for the right moment and then you whip out your equipment and take about two bajillion photographs of which 1.7 bajillion will be just rubbish ( Read more... )

I am posting this from a piece of technology that I have just stolen from
my husband but which should be rightly mine.we belong together.

A while ago in Kilburn, Z and I came upon a scene which thrilled me a great deal. There was a crowd of people on Kilburn High Street, gathered in a semi-circle around a woman with a megaphone and a stumbling man whom I at first took to be a hunchback. Somewhere beyond the people, someone was beating out a rhythm on the drums ( Read more... )

I have a confession to make. I’m thinking of going to see Mission Impossible III because I think it’s the sort of thing Z will enjoy. Even though it is tainted by the mind-rays of Xenu. Maybe he will enjoy it all the more because of it. Maybe I should buy tickets for my Raving Alcoholic Italian Neighbour and she will be forever changed by the ( Read more... )

( Read more... )