Time to dust this off.
I completely forgot I still had this thing until I had a reminder sent to me telling me my paid account was going to expire. Which I let it. There's no use to paying for more user icons and whatnot. That's just silly.
I've been telling myself to start journaling again, although I thought I was going to go with pen to paper as I had been in my last few months in DC (which was two years ago). That journal is currently packed away somewhere, plus it's just easier to type things out here. Perhaps that one can be used for more intimate details not to be shared here.
First off, I turned 30 in March. And it's really not a big deal. Although my body seems to have seen it as a signal to fall apart. So I've begun small baby steps to improve my health. It's time to right this ship until things really begin to go severely wrong.
Let's see. Where has the year gone? I cannot believe that it's the end of September already. I just got back from the Outer Banks a little over a week ago and it was amazing as usual. Great people to be around and just a nice relaxing time.
Since I can't recall everything that has happened in the past nine months, I guess I can focus on the important things.
Life is fairly good these days, and definitely better than it had been. Since the bipolar II diagnosis last December, I've been seeing my psychiatrist and counselor on regular basis and being diligent about taking my medication. I've also been very firm at establishing boundaries and being aware to remove myself from stressful situations, which has been wonders at protecting my sanity. I have some really great friends who I've been able to lean on as well that have been tremendously supportive. It just finally feels like that the puzzle is coming together. I have an answer to all the anxiety, the unexplained internal pain, the unexplainable mood swings, the desire to just give up. It's a struggle and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I am so proud of myself for not giving up.
I've moved into a new apartment around the corner, away from the non stop party and music upstairs at all hours. Before I moved out, the guy, a semi-famous boxer from my area, was viciously attacked in a not so great area of town at a really odd hour early in the morning, apparently over a girl [I'll keep my comments to myself about the situation itself, as it just seems....off]. I felt bad, because I had heard him moaning that morning after it happened, where apparently someone brought him home and just dumped him there instead of calling an ambulance. The guy's head got split open, but he miraculously recovered in a short span of time. Although, one night shortly after the initial attack, at about two in the morning, I was woken up to the sound of emergency services, a fire truck and police cars outside, who gathered at his father's request and proceeded to break down his door, only to find him sleeping. And here I had been freaking out thinking, "Oh my god, they're going to drag a dead body out of there." Nope, just the fact that he didn't answer his dad's calls at two in the morning. Total WTF moment and the final straw to find a new place to live.
My job is going well, although issues still remain between me and my stupid cubicle coworker/neighbor with her difficult demeanor. As I type this, she is currently fighting with a space heater as to where the proper position of it should be so she doesn't burn herself. This will occur over 50 times today and has every day (including through the blistering summer heat we had this year - seriously, who uses a space heater when it's 90 degrees outside?) we've worked together since last winter, when the office manager told her that the blanket and binder clip combination to ensconce herself to be warm was not proper for the office. Obviously, she's just weird. That will never change, so I just deal with it. The job is too good for me to get upset by it anymore. Plus, it's just a job. No use in letting it grate on my nerves.
My family, for the most part is well. My mother is doing very well and is currently attempting to get back in the work force, which I can only hope happens soon. She has a great relationships with Max and Molly and she seems to be (finally) relishing in the grandma role that she deserves. My father recovered from his last manic episode in time for Christmas and seems way more balanced than he has in years and has been diligently trying to reestablish a relationship with us kids. It's great to have him back (for lack of a better word), although this is new territory for me. I don't have the old memories of him that some of my older siblings do, but I am trying my best to keep an open mind and an open heart when it comes to my relationship with him and so far, it's going great. His girlfriend on the other hand....nope. Never.
My siblings and I are at a crossroads again. We're at a point in our lives where the four of us can't seem to completely get on the same page, albeit not from a lack of trying. It's just odd - this happens every so often. We shift into different stages in life and can't seem to find common ground. Michelle is happily married and trying for a child, although she hates her job and wants to run away to the Outer Banks. Sam has two great kids and an incredibly patient wife, but appears to be going through a rough patch of life, maybe even a midlife crisis, as he tends to lash out at everyone about everything. Dan is happily dating and living with Marcey and going through the ringer of everyone asking when they'll tie the knot, but being his usual casual and aloof sense about it. Then there's me. Perhaps I should save that for another journal entry as I'm having differing thoughts on my personal life.
The only sad thing I can remark about is my Grandma Jean has not been well in recent weeks since she turned 90 in August. We got a call yesterday and essentially, the gist was it's the beginning of the end. And I am okay with it. I visited her when she was a bit better and said what I needed to say to her. She gave the world 90 good years of her life, she deserves to finally rest.
So all in all, life is fairly good. But don't worry. I'm sure the rants will come again, although I hope to just continue to write about happier things going on. It's been a long while since that's happened on a regular basis and well, I quite enjoy it. :)
I've been telling myself to start journaling again, although I thought I was going to go with pen to paper as I had been in my last few months in DC (which was two years ago). That journal is currently packed away somewhere, plus it's just easier to type things out here. Perhaps that one can be used for more intimate details not to be shared here.
First off, I turned 30 in March. And it's really not a big deal. Although my body seems to have seen it as a signal to fall apart. So I've begun small baby steps to improve my health. It's time to right this ship until things really begin to go severely wrong.
Let's see. Where has the year gone? I cannot believe that it's the end of September already. I just got back from the Outer Banks a little over a week ago and it was amazing as usual. Great people to be around and just a nice relaxing time.
Since I can't recall everything that has happened in the past nine months, I guess I can focus on the important things.
Life is fairly good these days, and definitely better than it had been. Since the bipolar II diagnosis last December, I've been seeing my psychiatrist and counselor on regular basis and being diligent about taking my medication. I've also been very firm at establishing boundaries and being aware to remove myself from stressful situations, which has been wonders at protecting my sanity. I have some really great friends who I've been able to lean on as well that have been tremendously supportive. It just finally feels like that the puzzle is coming together. I have an answer to all the anxiety, the unexplained internal pain, the unexplainable mood swings, the desire to just give up. It's a struggle and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I am so proud of myself for not giving up.
I've moved into a new apartment around the corner, away from the non stop party and music upstairs at all hours. Before I moved out, the guy, a semi-famous boxer from my area, was viciously attacked in a not so great area of town at a really odd hour early in the morning, apparently over a girl [I'll keep my comments to myself about the situation itself, as it just seems....off]. I felt bad, because I had heard him moaning that morning after it happened, where apparently someone brought him home and just dumped him there instead of calling an ambulance. The guy's head got split open, but he miraculously recovered in a short span of time. Although, one night shortly after the initial attack, at about two in the morning, I was woken up to the sound of emergency services, a fire truck and police cars outside, who gathered at his father's request and proceeded to break down his door, only to find him sleeping. And here I had been freaking out thinking, "Oh my god, they're going to drag a dead body out of there." Nope, just the fact that he didn't answer his dad's calls at two in the morning. Total WTF moment and the final straw to find a new place to live.
My job is going well, although issues still remain between me and my stupid cubicle coworker/neighbor with her difficult demeanor. As I type this, she is currently fighting with a space heater as to where the proper position of it should be so she doesn't burn herself. This will occur over 50 times today and has every day (including through the blistering summer heat we had this year - seriously, who uses a space heater when it's 90 degrees outside?) we've worked together since last winter, when the office manager told her that the blanket and binder clip combination to ensconce herself to be warm was not proper for the office. Obviously, she's just weird. That will never change, so I just deal with it. The job is too good for me to get upset by it anymore. Plus, it's just a job. No use in letting it grate on my nerves.
My family, for the most part is well. My mother is doing very well and is currently attempting to get back in the work force, which I can only hope happens soon. She has a great relationships with Max and Molly and she seems to be (finally) relishing in the grandma role that she deserves. My father recovered from his last manic episode in time for Christmas and seems way more balanced than he has in years and has been diligently trying to reestablish a relationship with us kids. It's great to have him back (for lack of a better word), although this is new territory for me. I don't have the old memories of him that some of my older siblings do, but I am trying my best to keep an open mind and an open heart when it comes to my relationship with him and so far, it's going great. His girlfriend on the other hand....nope. Never.
My siblings and I are at a crossroads again. We're at a point in our lives where the four of us can't seem to completely get on the same page, albeit not from a lack of trying. It's just odd - this happens every so often. We shift into different stages in life and can't seem to find common ground. Michelle is happily married and trying for a child, although she hates her job and wants to run away to the Outer Banks. Sam has two great kids and an incredibly patient wife, but appears to be going through a rough patch of life, maybe even a midlife crisis, as he tends to lash out at everyone about everything. Dan is happily dating and living with Marcey and going through the ringer of everyone asking when they'll tie the knot, but being his usual casual and aloof sense about it. Then there's me. Perhaps I should save that for another journal entry as I'm having differing thoughts on my personal life.
The only sad thing I can remark about is my Grandma Jean has not been well in recent weeks since she turned 90 in August. We got a call yesterday and essentially, the gist was it's the beginning of the end. And I am okay with it. I visited her when she was a bit better and said what I needed to say to her. She gave the world 90 good years of her life, she deserves to finally rest.
So all in all, life is fairly good. But don't worry. I'm sure the rants will come again, although I hope to just continue to write about happier things going on. It's been a long while since that's happened on a regular basis and well, I quite enjoy it. :)