Comments | raineyflutterby: Confusion

raineyflutterby

Confusion

Dec 07, 2004 03:36

So.. This sucks. Life is utterly unfair. I don't know how many people can relate with how I am feeling. Currently, I'm in a position where I care for someone very very dearly. And yet, I can't stand the person. Yeah. Everyone thinks they know that feeling. Trust me... This is nothing like that love/hate relationship I have with my mum. NO way. This ( Read more... )

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Meh... raineyflutterby December 9 2004, 20:49:33 UTC

I wish I knew who was posting on my journal son I can tell most of you individually that I know I will get over him. Unfortunately, I have no idea who you are. The point is that I feel this way. I understand it's miserable, and I understand that I am going to get over it. I just talk about it so I can mentally draw out how I feel and put it down in writing. It always seems like I don't know what I'm talking about and I have trouble talking about things or making decisions because I am always confused. I was just hoping for a little clarity for myself. Maybe letting other people analyze how I feel is a good idea. But, I hope you don't find me to be stupid or even incompetent.
As to Scott- They are (He/She is)right. I do push you away because you tell me you love me. I don't love you and you know it. Telling me it every few seconds doesn't help your case. I wont love you. I can't love you. And it makes you seem obsessed and creepy and even annoying for you to tell me that you love me. Please stop.

Re: Meh... zabuzas_son December 10 2004, 20:19:30 UTC

wow, thats not insensitive at all. Instead of embracing someones love for you, you push them away as you said. You dont neccasarily have to love him back, but why cant you accept that he loves you, and at least be there for him. You shouldn't mess with someones emotions regardless of wether you love them or not.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 10 2004, 21:37:40 UTC

I'm really sorry that you feel this way. I really have not messed with his emotions at all. He has known since right off the bat that I don't feel the same way. I know that you would have done the same thing I have done if you had been in my situation. And if you wouldn't have... We are different people. We deal with situations in different manners. Who are you to judge how I react to someone's love for me? This really has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry to offend you.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 10 2004, 21:58:15 UTC

are you sure that you aren't messing with his emotions? Have you really stopped and examined how you interact with him? Do you use him to make yourself feel better at the expense of his feelings. Knowing someone loves you can be a two edged sword. Perhaps he still loves you because you are in some way encouraging it. Saying you don't love him, but then acting like it might be possible could be part of the reason he does still love you.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 11 2004, 05:14:41 UTC

I have not now nor ever made it seem that I love him. Because I do not. In fact, I have made it very apparent that I do not. Now... Please excuse yourself from our business because it is clearly not your position to disect our relationship. He has not even posted a reply in here, and who knows how he is thinking or feeling but him? I do not imagine I have done anything to assure him of my love for him. It would be wrong. And, I attempted to spare his feelings without leading him on. I believe I made my intent clear.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 11 2004, 07:45:26 UTC

I'm sorry...was I dissecting your relationship? I must have missed that...oh wait...that would be because I am NOT dissecting your relationship.

I merely brought up a valid point. Your strong reaction too it would suggest to me that you should think on that point a bit. They say that the truth hurts. Oh, by the by, I am now dissecting you.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 11 2004, 07:56:26 UTC

Please don't get me wrong. I am just having a hard week. I don't care that you choose to dissect me in your spare time. While in hiding. This simply shows me that you are either afraid to tell me your opinion on it or just don't care enough. And if the second is true, why do you bother? Now, as to my above comment: What makes you think I reacted strongly? The fact that I replied to your ignorance? I did such merely to inform you that you are obviously not involved, so you may as well bug off. I am not even taking your opinion into account. In fact, I am going to assume you are Rob and totally ignore your every word. Thanks for being a part of my life, now F*** off. Get a life and stay out of my business. NOW I am reacting strongly.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 13 2004, 04:55:09 UTC

You must be having a hard week. Your reply is a beautiful study of a frazzled mind attempting to justify it's confusion to itself. First you attempt to placate with an apology. then you lash out, and finally you depart into your own world...that is assuming I am someone you know so that you may have a target for your rudeness ( ... )

get a life raineyflutterby December 13 2004, 19:47:20 UTC

as segan already put it. Get a lfe, if your not even brave enough to disclose your name you have no business forming any opinions on this matter. Or perhaps you get off on trifling with people heads on the internet, its a sad day and age we live in when no one has any courage.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 14 2004, 08:22:22 UTC

I will do my soul searching on my own time. It is not the opinions of others that should sway me to do so, but the opinion of myself. As you said, you do not know the situation. I know I have done nothing wrong and harmed no one without it also being a part of their own doings. Aside from that, I am fine with who I am. I have had FAR too many people tell me I need to figure out who I am and change myself for the better. I am trying. But I won't change something I don't find wrong. Thank you. And I apologize for assuming you were Rob.

Re: Meh... zabuzas_son December 11 2004, 00:18:22 UTC

excuse me for thinking that my opinion mattered like everyone elses. I dont normally get mixed up with peoples "problems" but isnt that the point of posting on the INTERNET, to seek advice? I just dont see how you can think your not in the wrong here, of course its ok not to love him, but your being really insensitive about it. Your not gonna choose everyone who loves you and vice versa, so sometimes you just gotta deal with it.

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 11 2004, 05:19:23 UTC

Hector, I am really sorry to offend you. I really didn't mean to make it seem as mean as it sounded. I have been under a lot of stress lately and have decided not to return to the great state of AZ. I have my mother hounding me, my job, and I am working on getting a new place to live. Not to mention the fact that over the past few days, I have wanted nothing more than to not exist. I don't mean to sound like I want your pity. I just want you to understand the position you put me in by posting what you did. Please don't be angry. I don't want to lose your friendship over anything so small as this conversation. I understand you want to help, but I don't think you understand the entire situation. I am really sorry.

Re: Meh... luminairemoogle December 13 2004, 10:05:53 UTC

Rainey Im sorry... Wow I really feel out of touch. I really have missed out on a lot. Remember us here in Arizona, me and Stephi at least, still love you.
Jason

Re: Meh... raineyflutterby December 14 2004, 08:25:50 UTC

I love you too, Jason. I will be back for the 21st through the 27th. I will see you then, I hope. *hugs*

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