dating, sex and the city style
Lately I've been trying to date. This has been happening though meeting people online, trying to figure out whether they share interests with me or not, and then a date happens where we meet in person/chat. It's been pretty interesting, and I can't help but feel a bit tired of this cycle.
Guy #1 was from Turkey. He had a very heavy accent, but spoke English well enough that we had good conversations. He got his Ph. D recently from UF in engineering, so he's definitely smart. Also, I found him attractive. However, he was almost too attractive for me to feel comfortable with him. Our first date was out to dinner and he was very gentlemanly. He insisted on paying for everything, opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc. Then we went to a local pub/bar and I got drinks, but he doesn't really drink so we just talked. Then we played darts, and I actually found that to be really fun--I've never done it before. We also danced because it was 80s night! He insisted that he could not dance, and so I pretty much flung him around the dance floor. It was weird that he didn't know any of the songs, too. Different culture, but how can you not know Michael Jackson songs?! He was also taller than me, that was a plus! Great evening.
After our second date (concert) I decided we just weren't meant to be. We don't have enough in common, and conversation does not come very easily. That won't work for me.
Guy #2 I met for coffee at Starbucks. I knew from his pictures that he was kind of chunky, but I like guys with meat on them. I'd much rather a guy be a little overweight than a twig. However, this guy turned out to be bigger than I thought he would be, and I know it sounds shallow, but I can't see myself with someone who doesn't at least try to take care of themselves. I mean, it's just something that you have to do, because it will catch up with you later. And often, it turns out that people who don't respect themselves enough to watch their health have bigger/deeper issues like self-esteem, etc. While we had a nice chat, and I thought him to be genuinely nice, I decided that was the end of that. He didn't offer to buy my coffee either! Maybe that's asking too much...I dunno. Then he was stalking me on facebook, so that was awkward.
Guy #3 I'm still trying to meet, though I am thinking it won't happen anymore. That's ok. If a guy really wants to meet me, he will, and I don't need any guys who are less than super excited to get to know me :)
Guy#4 I was talking to over the X-mas break. It turns out that he is an amazing artist...he recently started painting and his pictures are amazing. He is also friends with some acquaintances of mine in the music department, and plays in a band with one of them. He likes zombies, too. Awesome. So I don't really know what I expected when I met him...from his picture he wasn't super attractive, but I thought I could deal with that and at least get to know him and not be shallow. However, we met for dinner, and it was so hard for me to reconcile my feelings. He was such a sweet kid, but I just was not attracted to him in any way. He was tiny...like really thin and barely as tall as me, and he had a bit of a snaggle tooth. I couldn't stop staring at it...I tried not to, and did ok, but it was hard. I feel like a horrible person, but when I got home I was just so tired of trying to date people like this.
It's so difficult for me to find anyone that I'm attracted to. Not just physically, but as far as personality too. I tried this online thing because I really need to meet people that are not in the music department. Music people are crazy. I want to meet normal boys. If there is such a thing. And I'm discovering that many "normal" guys are pigs or are not what I thought they'd be. The problem with finding people online is you build a picture of who you think they are and then they turn out to be nothing like it, and you end up disappointed. And it sucks even more when you decide you would rather not go on a second date with someone, and they are totally into you and you somehow have to explain it to them...without hurting their feelings...bleh. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it.
I'm beginning to think that there are no good guys left out there. I know that's pretty pessimistic, but it just seems that way.
Guy #1 was from Turkey. He had a very heavy accent, but spoke English well enough that we had good conversations. He got his Ph. D recently from UF in engineering, so he's definitely smart. Also, I found him attractive. However, he was almost too attractive for me to feel comfortable with him. Our first date was out to dinner and he was very gentlemanly. He insisted on paying for everything, opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc. Then we went to a local pub/bar and I got drinks, but he doesn't really drink so we just talked. Then we played darts, and I actually found that to be really fun--I've never done it before. We also danced because it was 80s night! He insisted that he could not dance, and so I pretty much flung him around the dance floor. It was weird that he didn't know any of the songs, too. Different culture, but how can you not know Michael Jackson songs?! He was also taller than me, that was a plus! Great evening.
After our second date (concert) I decided we just weren't meant to be. We don't have enough in common, and conversation does not come very easily. That won't work for me.
Guy #2 I met for coffee at Starbucks. I knew from his pictures that he was kind of chunky, but I like guys with meat on them. I'd much rather a guy be a little overweight than a twig. However, this guy turned out to be bigger than I thought he would be, and I know it sounds shallow, but I can't see myself with someone who doesn't at least try to take care of themselves. I mean, it's just something that you have to do, because it will catch up with you later. And often, it turns out that people who don't respect themselves enough to watch their health have bigger/deeper issues like self-esteem, etc. While we had a nice chat, and I thought him to be genuinely nice, I decided that was the end of that. He didn't offer to buy my coffee either! Maybe that's asking too much...I dunno. Then he was stalking me on facebook, so that was awkward.
Guy #3 I'm still trying to meet, though I am thinking it won't happen anymore. That's ok. If a guy really wants to meet me, he will, and I don't need any guys who are less than super excited to get to know me :)
Guy#4 I was talking to over the X-mas break. It turns out that he is an amazing artist...he recently started painting and his pictures are amazing. He is also friends with some acquaintances of mine in the music department, and plays in a band with one of them. He likes zombies, too. Awesome. So I don't really know what I expected when I met him...from his picture he wasn't super attractive, but I thought I could deal with that and at least get to know him and not be shallow. However, we met for dinner, and it was so hard for me to reconcile my feelings. He was such a sweet kid, but I just was not attracted to him in any way. He was tiny...like really thin and barely as tall as me, and he had a bit of a snaggle tooth. I couldn't stop staring at it...I tried not to, and did ok, but it was hard. I feel like a horrible person, but when I got home I was just so tired of trying to date people like this.
It's so difficult for me to find anyone that I'm attracted to. Not just physically, but as far as personality too. I tried this online thing because I really need to meet people that are not in the music department. Music people are crazy. I want to meet normal boys. If there is such a thing. And I'm discovering that many "normal" guys are pigs or are not what I thought they'd be. The problem with finding people online is you build a picture of who you think they are and then they turn out to be nothing like it, and you end up disappointed. And it sucks even more when you decide you would rather not go on a second date with someone, and they are totally into you and you somehow have to explain it to them...without hurting their feelings...bleh. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it.
I'm beginning to think that there are no good guys left out there. I know that's pretty pessimistic, but it just seems that way.