My inner Hulk scares me half to death!

Jun 21, 2020 06:07

My sister took my nieces to the dentist on Thursday, and they got to wear masks in the waiting room. They were EXCITED about it! Niece #2 especially. She's only 3 and apparently she said in a self-important tone, "I is a very big girl now." Well, I guess little kids see grownups wearing masks, don't realize WHY they're doing it, and want to imitate them.

I turned into a 10 foot tall green rage monster for several days last week right before my period started. And it was med-related. I’ve been on an antidepressant called Respiridone for about 6 weeks. I assumed it probably wasn’t why I was PMSing up a storm, because I’d already had a perfectly normal period shortly after I started taking the new stuff. But Dr Wonderful said I probably hadn’t been on it long enough at that time for the full effects to show up.

Respiridone can cause fairly dramatic hormonal shifts, especially in women. Which would explain why I was not only a ball of anger for several days before it started, but also why I had such a bizarrely light and painless period on a physical level. But honestly, I’d rather have the usual cramps and rivers of blood than spend 3 days a month flying off the handle at the slightest provocation.

However, Respiridone’s hormonal effects do sometimes level out as your body gets accustomed to it, so I’m not going off it YET. If I have another period in early July with PMS as bad as this month, we will have to taper me off it. Which is a shame, because until I hulked out for 72 agonizing hours, the Respiridone was really working well for me.

But I simply can’t go around wanting to scream at people for 3 days a month. Being constantly angry is emotionally EXHAUSTING! I thought being constantly anxious was tiring, but that’s a doddle compared to the debilitating effects of rage. On the bright side, I'm 43, will be 44 in October. I'm much closer to the end of the menstruating portion of my life than to the beginning. How many more sleeps until menopause?
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