I'M LIVING THE BROKEN DREAM!
Well, the quarter is over and after some resting, revitalization and gettin' down to other business, a new chapter in my life shall begin. Time to catch up!
I've never had a tougher time than this quarter. Very little "artwork" was done, most of it involved technical crapola. That, and I just can't wrap my little fuzzy noggin' around animation. My cartoon ended up looking alright, but the movements were jerky and squiggly, reminiscent of that "Dr. Katz" cartoon which was on Comedy Central years ago, and it just doesn't cut the mustard for the Disney/Pixar types that seem to hold an iron fist upon the world of animation these days. Maybe I'll post it, maybe not. I did have a few people that seemed to like it, so I have mixed feelings about it all. But really, it's not my bag. It just painly drove me insane drawing the same friggin' thing over and over and over. I've put more effort into that project than any in my life and with the less than satisfying outcome I know it's not my calling. Oh well, it's done and time to decide if I shall move forth or try some new route with my artwork.
Speaking of insane...
A few nights ago I caught this film-"The Devil and Daniel Johnston" on cable tv. For those not familiar with Mr.Johnston, he is an artist/musician who gained a cult following starting in the mid 80's. He was an overly ambitious musician/artist, making basement tapes, home movies and artwork that eventually led to a huge record deal. The crux of the whole thingy is that the poor kid was a total nutjob without any actual real talent at all.(Well, I do think he had a great nack for lyrics).
The documentary uses his home movie footage, cassette recordings and MTV footage to tell his unique story. As the story starts out, I found a great kinship with the guy, as I spent hours upon hours drawing things no one else thought had any worth, recorded about every moment I could on a cheap ass tape recorder and wrote song after song hoping to be a big rockstar some day. But, as the movie played on, the less and less I could relate to the guy as his psychosis and mental unhealthiness crept on. Not that I haven't had my share of insane moments and questionable actions, but let's just say his veered off in a completely different direction.
Anyways, it's a pretty darn interesting documentary, but it also brought up some resentful feelings within' me. Mayhaps those of jealousy,but I question even that, because I have no desire to walk in his shoes.
The issue, for me, is that the guy's artwork was basically, well, crap. It's simplistic in a childlike way, without much effort. It looks like something a five year old would doodle up and people are paying big bucks for it, and here I am struggling everyday to improve my skill and gettin' pretty much nothing for it.
The guys guitar playing is atrocious. Even worse than mine, and he's playing big shows and gets a huge record deal. His guitar playing sounds like a kid strumming a tennis racket. My music never got me a record deal, though it did nab me a few groupies here and there in the day, but my stuff never made it to MTV. Bands like Pearl Jam and other such alternative bands would cover his crap. Heck, even Simpsons creator Matt Groening is a fan.
So, frustrations reared it's ugly head as I watched this film. I started spoutin' the usual jaded artist/musician schpeel at the music and art scene. You know-"The guy is a hack!", "He doesn't deserve this fame & fortune!", "What do I gotta do?Go nuts and live in a mental hospital to get any attention for my art?" and the classic, "When is someone gonna make a movie about me?"
But as time went on, the movie stuck in my head. Mostly the parts when they would show the old home movies and play the home recordings of when he was a teenager. It brought me back to those days when I did the exact same things. And it's that that really makes Daniel Johnston deserving of it all. He loved creating artwork and music, and it had no inhibitions, or rules or people trying to change his art.
Maybe that childlike charm took other people to that place in their minds and that's what's good about his stuff. That's why his stuff is valuable and worth big bucks.
That's what it does for me.
Course, most likely is that people like stuff created by loonies and they get off on owning stuff by him because of that. Just like Wesley Willis and Charles Manson. Most likely, the people that buy the artwork and listen to the music know the guy is a crazy no talented wacko and like being in on the joke.
The same reason people used to pay to go see the Geek bite a head off of a chicken in the old circus freak shows.
Seems like that's about the only way an artist can make it anymore.
And y'know, that's fine. I don't wish to have the mental problems that Johnston has, but it's nice to see even someone like him can make big bucks doing what he's always wanted to do.
Without fucking Disney or Pixar having a single thing to do with it.
I'm on my way!
P.S. New Ragzart to be posted soon!
I've never had a tougher time than this quarter. Very little "artwork" was done, most of it involved technical crapola. That, and I just can't wrap my little fuzzy noggin' around animation. My cartoon ended up looking alright, but the movements were jerky and squiggly, reminiscent of that "Dr. Katz" cartoon which was on Comedy Central years ago, and it just doesn't cut the mustard for the Disney/Pixar types that seem to hold an iron fist upon the world of animation these days. Maybe I'll post it, maybe not. I did have a few people that seemed to like it, so I have mixed feelings about it all. But really, it's not my bag. It just painly drove me insane drawing the same friggin' thing over and over and over. I've put more effort into that project than any in my life and with the less than satisfying outcome I know it's not my calling. Oh well, it's done and time to decide if I shall move forth or try some new route with my artwork.
Speaking of insane...
A few nights ago I caught this film-"The Devil and Daniel Johnston" on cable tv. For those not familiar with Mr.Johnston, he is an artist/musician who gained a cult following starting in the mid 80's. He was an overly ambitious musician/artist, making basement tapes, home movies and artwork that eventually led to a huge record deal. The crux of the whole thingy is that the poor kid was a total nutjob without any actual real talent at all.(Well, I do think he had a great nack for lyrics).
The documentary uses his home movie footage, cassette recordings and MTV footage to tell his unique story. As the story starts out, I found a great kinship with the guy, as I spent hours upon hours drawing things no one else thought had any worth, recorded about every moment I could on a cheap ass tape recorder and wrote song after song hoping to be a big rockstar some day. But, as the movie played on, the less and less I could relate to the guy as his psychosis and mental unhealthiness crept on. Not that I haven't had my share of insane moments and questionable actions, but let's just say his veered off in a completely different direction.
Anyways, it's a pretty darn interesting documentary, but it also brought up some resentful feelings within' me. Mayhaps those of jealousy,but I question even that, because I have no desire to walk in his shoes.
The issue, for me, is that the guy's artwork was basically, well, crap. It's simplistic in a childlike way, without much effort. It looks like something a five year old would doodle up and people are paying big bucks for it, and here I am struggling everyday to improve my skill and gettin' pretty much nothing for it.
The guys guitar playing is atrocious. Even worse than mine, and he's playing big shows and gets a huge record deal. His guitar playing sounds like a kid strumming a tennis racket. My music never got me a record deal, though it did nab me a few groupies here and there in the day, but my stuff never made it to MTV. Bands like Pearl Jam and other such alternative bands would cover his crap. Heck, even Simpsons creator Matt Groening is a fan.
So, frustrations reared it's ugly head as I watched this film. I started spoutin' the usual jaded artist/musician schpeel at the music and art scene. You know-"The guy is a hack!", "He doesn't deserve this fame & fortune!", "What do I gotta do?Go nuts and live in a mental hospital to get any attention for my art?" and the classic, "When is someone gonna make a movie about me?"
But as time went on, the movie stuck in my head. Mostly the parts when they would show the old home movies and play the home recordings of when he was a teenager. It brought me back to those days when I did the exact same things. And it's that that really makes Daniel Johnston deserving of it all. He loved creating artwork and music, and it had no inhibitions, or rules or people trying to change his art.
Maybe that childlike charm took other people to that place in their minds and that's what's good about his stuff. That's why his stuff is valuable and worth big bucks.
That's what it does for me.
Course, most likely is that people like stuff created by loonies and they get off on owning stuff by him because of that. Just like Wesley Willis and Charles Manson. Most likely, the people that buy the artwork and listen to the music know the guy is a crazy no talented wacko and like being in on the joke.
The same reason people used to pay to go see the Geek bite a head off of a chicken in the old circus freak shows.
Seems like that's about the only way an artist can make it anymore.
And y'know, that's fine. I don't wish to have the mental problems that Johnston has, but it's nice to see even someone like him can make big bucks doing what he's always wanted to do.
Without fucking Disney or Pixar having a single thing to do with it.
I'm on my way!
P.S. New Ragzart to be posted soon!