SCHLOCK N' AWE #1! THE ALL NEW, ALL DIFFERENT, UNCANNY RAGZJOURNAL!
RAGZ:
Heya, Glitterkatz n' Ghouliedawgs!
I've decided to try something new here at the ol' Ragzter LiveJournal. Instead of me just rambling on about the mundane momentz of my
day, I'd thought it might brighten a few thingz up 'round here to bring in a special guest once in awhile to add another view to my
mundane life.
So, I wanna welcome an old friend of mine to The Glam Guignol, he's from The 13th Dimension and he knowz me pretty much better than anyone, RagzFanz, say a big Hello to Gabby-The Talking Head!
GABBY: Heya! How's it goin' humanoids!
RAGZ: So, Gabby, what bringz ya to Earth and more precisely to my little Ragzpad?
GABBY: Well, you're the one who invited me down here. You tell me!
RAGZ: Yeah, ok, well, I thought it would make a more interesting LiveJournal post if I had a special guest once in awhile to shoot the shit with and mayhaps shed a little more light on the subjects I bring up.
GABBY: In other words,you've come to realize that anything you have to say isn't really all that exciting and by having a friend come down in may actually make your posts a little more interesting?
RAGZ: Jeez,Gabby...
GABBY: Well, that and you've been listening to the Sleazegrinder Podcast over at http://www.sleazegrinder.com and you wanna cop some of his style and incorporate some interesting dialogue into the mix, huh, ya copycat!
RAGZ: Ok,Ok, yeah. His podcast is hilarious, and I thought maybe by adopting that format might lead to a more productive LiveJournal post...
GABBY: Except by making the people read yer stuff instead of listening to it in podcast form cuz you have no idea how to make a podcast and you think you might be as clever and interesting as Sleazegrin...
RAGZ: OK OK! Sheesh Gabby...just sayin'...
GABBY: Alrighty,Ragz. I git ya. Don't get all flustered. So what d'ya wanna talk about?
RAGZ: Well, since you did bring it up, Sleazegrinder's podcast is awesome and anyone who iz a fan of sleazy rawk n' rowl, movies and pop culure shenaniganz should give it a listen. So, I highly recomend it. It's a great show.
GABBY: Indeedy it is!
RAGZ: The url to the show iz http://www.sleazegrinder.com/Podcastpage.htm
GABBY: So what d'ya wanna shooot da shit about?
RAGZ: Well, maybe the kiddies wanna know a little about you?
GABBY: Me?
RAGZ: Yeah, it'z not everyday that Earthlingz get to know someone from another dimension.
GABBY: Yeah right. They deal wit' 'em evryday. What'ya talkin' about?
RAGZ: Well, like who?
GABBY: Nancy Grace fer one. She's not from yer planet or dimension even. She's actually not even on Earth when she doez her bitch-o-rama show on yer cable channels. It's all beamed in from some bitchy world just outside of Uranus.
RAGZ: Really...
GABBY: Yep, it's true!
GABBY: I like your picture of Nancy Grace you just posted. Did you draw that?
RAGZ: No, it's from a cover of a video of the movie "Leonore", I just thought it looked like her and frankly I didn't want an actual picture of Nancy Grace gracing my website.
GABBY: Oh. I think Nancy Grace looks more like C.C.Deville from Poison than that picture.
RAGZ: C.C. iz much cooler than Nancy Grace,Gabby!
GABBY: If you say so.
RAGZ: Well, what about you?
GABBY: I come from Dimension 13 which can be found snuggly between Dimension 12 and 14. We're a race of highly eveolved headless beings that basically like to give lower life forms a hard time by ridiculing them. We don't really mean any harm, just for shits n' grins, if you will.
RAGZ: We met yearz ago, back in the 80's. You alwayz have given me a hard time. I didn't realize you alwayz thought of me az a lower life form...
GABBY: Well ya have a body don't ya? And ya haveta sit down to poop, so that pretty much says alot there...
RAGZ: Great.
GABBY: Just sayin'. Us 13 Dimensioners never haveta lower ourselves to that level. I think it's the Universes way of making all Earth creatures humble, by makin' 'em all haveta poop. No matter how great and powerful you humans think you are, ya all haveta crap, just like yer dogs and bunnies and such. To the rest of us in other dimensions, ya all look goofy doin' that, so we get a big chuckle out of it.
RAGZ: Well, speaking of poop. Have you seen this commercial on tv?
Click to viewGABBY: Oh yeah. Wonderful.
RAGZ: It had to remind me just how shitty music waz in the 90'z. And iz it just me or does all the rockstarz from the 90.s look like Christian Rock Artists? Yeesh, what a drab decade for music.
GABBY: I did like The Spice Girls though.
RAGZ: Yeah me too. They were more rawk n' roll than all of those BuzzCut artists put together.
GABBY: Why did you haveta torture me with that video?
RAGZ: I don't know, just something I had to bitch about I guess.
GABBY: Hmmm...
RAGZ: Well, we better cloze this post down fer now before my computer crashes and I haveta re-write this stuff all over again.
GABBY: Plus the audience is gettin' bored with reading all this stuff. I'd tell ya to do a podcast instead but Sleazegrinder does a much better job than you ever could.
RAGZ: Thanx Gabby for the support. Well, that's it for now, we gotta go.
GABBY: Ragz has gotta poop I think.
RAGZ: Oh jeez, you and your obsession with poop.
GABBY: What? Just sayin'...
RAGZ: That's it, we're outta here...