Harder then I thought
Last week me and Dave were fighting non-stop, it scared me b/c I defeintly didn't want to get back into a constant fighting realtionship. Then we started fighting about Aleks coming down and staying with me and that was pretty much the breaking point.
We decided to take some time apart and take a break. Something I'm unfortunatly very used to. It's always a sign of the begining of the end.
I keep finding myself wanting to hang out with him and call him. I miss him, more then I thought I would... I really care about Dave but I'm very unsure about our future. Jose being the genius that he is, always puts it best. He told me that he didn't see me with a boy he sees me with a man. Which blew me away b/c that's what had been on my mind for a while! And I felt exactly the same way! I love Dave but I don't think he's the one... so what do I do, stay with him? Move with him and a year down the road break up with him? And end up being another failed realtionship to chalk up to the board. I don't want to be 40 never married and single. I'm 22 and this year I'll be 23 I know 25 is going to hit me so much faster then I think, and I'm scared that when it does I won't be where I want to be in my life. I now know u can't plan anything out, but I atleast have an idea of what I want. And I would be very sad if it didn't happen.
I know what I want in a man, I have my ideal guy in my head. But I also know that that man does not exist. The fairy tale romantic realtionship that I dreamed of for so long has been smashed and thrown away, along with my hopeless romantic heart. And that's ok b/c that's life and I'm glad I realized that now. So all that's left for me is to settle, and apart of me just can't do it. A small part of me still wants to believe.
Have the choices that's I've made so far in my young life determined what's going to happen next? Have I already screwed all the dreams I've had?
We decided to take some time apart and take a break. Something I'm unfortunatly very used to. It's always a sign of the begining of the end.
I keep finding myself wanting to hang out with him and call him. I miss him, more then I thought I would... I really care about Dave but I'm very unsure about our future. Jose being the genius that he is, always puts it best. He told me that he didn't see me with a boy he sees me with a man. Which blew me away b/c that's what had been on my mind for a while! And I felt exactly the same way! I love Dave but I don't think he's the one... so what do I do, stay with him? Move with him and a year down the road break up with him? And end up being another failed realtionship to chalk up to the board. I don't want to be 40 never married and single. I'm 22 and this year I'll be 23 I know 25 is going to hit me so much faster then I think, and I'm scared that when it does I won't be where I want to be in my life. I now know u can't plan anything out, but I atleast have an idea of what I want. And I would be very sad if it didn't happen.
I know what I want in a man, I have my ideal guy in my head. But I also know that that man does not exist. The fairy tale romantic realtionship that I dreamed of for so long has been smashed and thrown away, along with my hopeless romantic heart. And that's ok b/c that's life and I'm glad I realized that now. So all that's left for me is to settle, and apart of me just can't do it. A small part of me still wants to believe.
Have the choices that's I've made so far in my young life determined what's going to happen next? Have I already screwed all the dreams I've had?