how straightforward the game, when one has trust in one's players.
Where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all.
Lately, I haven't been able to listen to just one song from Chess. If one comes up on random, I have to stop it and play the whole thing from the beginning. I am a nerd. Especially cos I was singing along loudly while opening DVDs and organizing them on my shelf.
For my birthday, my dad got me Harry Potter and the... Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince. My collection is almost complete! *pets cat and laughs evilly* My grandma gave me money for presents, too, so with some of that money (surprisingly, only $30 of it), I got Harrison's Flowers, Dummy and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. We'll see how long it takes me to watch all of them. Probably, in competition with Netflix, it will take at least a month. I'm not rushing.
I've been slowly working through Adrien Brody's filmography, on Netflix. I really do love him. He's such a good actor. Even when he doesn't have an accent as a bullfighter, he is still good. None of his movies have felt like wastes of time, to me. Which is always nice. Several of them are only available on instant streaming, so I might have to get to those before I move away from my sister's boyfriend's Wii. I'm going to pretend that doesn't sound like innuendo.
Running for my life and never looking back in case there's someone right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall.
I've been entertaining these very unrealistic thoughts lately. I know I shouldn't, but it makes me feel happy and fills me with a kind of optimism that I don't get from my life and my situation, really. I've been thinking about the way people my age (and younger!) in old-timey movies would just pack up and get a one-way ticket and leave, without worrying or feeling obligated or tethered. I am tethered. I am staying here. I don't want to, and my thoughts are of elsewhere and resting on things I can't have right now. But imagining getting on a plane with a suitcase and Habi and that being okay makes me wish I had the guts to just do that.
I don't, and I won't. But still. I keep imagining it.
I hope to have moved by this time next year. That... is my goal.
When the crazy wheel slows down, where will I be? Back where I started.
Lately, I haven't been able to listen to just one song from Chess. If one comes up on random, I have to stop it and play the whole thing from the beginning. I am a nerd. Especially cos I was singing along loudly while opening DVDs and organizing them on my shelf.
For my birthday, my dad got me Harry Potter and the... Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince. My collection is almost complete! *pets cat and laughs evilly* My grandma gave me money for presents, too, so with some of that money (surprisingly, only $30 of it), I got Harrison's Flowers, Dummy and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. We'll see how long it takes me to watch all of them. Probably, in competition with Netflix, it will take at least a month. I'm not rushing.
I've been slowly working through Adrien Brody's filmography, on Netflix. I really do love him. He's such a good actor. Even when he doesn't have an accent as a bullfighter, he is still good. None of his movies have felt like wastes of time, to me. Which is always nice. Several of them are only available on instant streaming, so I might have to get to those before I move away from my sister's boyfriend's Wii. I'm going to pretend that doesn't sound like innuendo.
Running for my life and never looking back in case there's someone right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall.
I've been entertaining these very unrealistic thoughts lately. I know I shouldn't, but it makes me feel happy and fills me with a kind of optimism that I don't get from my life and my situation, really. I've been thinking about the way people my age (and younger!) in old-timey movies would just pack up and get a one-way ticket and leave, without worrying or feeling obligated or tethered. I am tethered. I am staying here. I don't want to, and my thoughts are of elsewhere and resting on things I can't have right now. But imagining getting on a plane with a suitcase and Habi and that being okay makes me wish I had the guts to just do that.
I don't, and I won't. But still. I keep imagining it.
I hope to have moved by this time next year. That... is my goal.
When the crazy wheel slows down, where will I be? Back where I started.