2010 Musings
Here it is guys, for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time: The list. The subject lines of the first (non-private) entry of each month this year. Commentary too! To be honest, I clicked to my calendar page thinking that maybe I wouldn't have enough entries to do this, but apparently I wrote more than I thought I did. Here goes.
January: A First for 2010
Maybe it is true, how they say that the moment you stop looking for a special someone, one will come to you. I rang in 2010 with a bang - actually, a kiss. My first new year's kiss. (And only one thus far - I'm not gonna get one this time around because my boyfriend's in Taiwan.) A fun night and a lot of closure and answers to lingering questions from high school. I was so happy to be living freely, doing whatever I wanted, not being tied down... and that night was a testament to it all. Two weeks later I met Sherwood. Funny how those things happen.
February: What would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud.
Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
Marking two years since Nanay (my maternal grandmother) died. Now it's been almost three. I hope she's proud of me. To be honest, I'm not very proud of me. There are a lot of things I wish I would've done differently.
March: THIS WEEKEND WAS AMAZING.
I met Sherwood in January of this year, so I thought that most of my entries would be about him, and our falling in love, and all the gushing that went along with it for me. Imagine my surprise that I held out till March! I'm kidding. I know there are many entries about him between the lines, that just weren't lucky enough to be the first one of the month. But I'm glad that I managed to keep my journaling life not all about him.
Really though, that weekend was awesome.
April: quote.
I still feel the same about that quote. Though I wish I didn't cry SO easily. Sometimes it's embarrassing.
May: "I love you. Most ardently." - P&P 2005
We met in January, and five months later we're admitting we love each other. I'm pretty sure he knew he loved me long before then, but for me it was a few weeks of knowing it, knowing he felt the same, knowing that if I was the second one to realize it I should probably say it first, and then worrying about how and when to say it. It ended up in a profession of love not as awesome as Mr. Darcy's in Pride & Prejudice (the 2005 film) but definitely one of the best moments of my life thus far.
June: I feel like I'm fifteen...
Oh, to be young and in love. With a computer. And the urge to procrastinate.
July: Maybe I should've picked a different major...
CRAP I still need to work on that! I talked to my instructor early this semester, we fleshed out what my argument should be, and he said I should try to present at the National Undergraduate Bioethics Conference. It's at Duke this year. I had emailed someone and he said that abstracts for presentations would be due mid-January.
If I could do college all over again... Maybe I would pick a different major. I haven't gotten less than a 3.5 in any non-science course I took in college. Not so much for the science ones.
August: He says he doesn't see the resemblance...
I thought this entry was really funny and cool but then it didn't get any comments. Maybe I came off as being like, "OMG I'm so cool because my boyfriend is so hot and he looks like Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt." I mean, he is hot. To me. And I do think there is a resemblance. But I wasn't looking for praises or anything... I hope my LJ friends don't think I'm a tool...
September: Coming Full Circle
Laura and I started thinking about moments in our lives in which we come full circle first on the way home from a Dashboard Confessional concert for my sixteenth birthday. Five years later... Yup, still thinkin'.
October: Wishful Thinking
I actually enjoyed writing those essays, and all the introspection involved. Just not the having to sound professional and stick to a character count. Whack.
November: Oh dear god.
I'm still not into med school. It's all I want. I just need to know. It's killing me. I don't want to talk about it.
December: Best series of texts EVER.
Okay, despite as a whole not being proud of myself at the moment, I had a lot of fun that night/day, and this year.
2010 was an emotional rollercoaster. Falling in love with Sherwood was an intense high, one that I'm still riding. But the stress that applying to med school brought tainted it in a big way. For 2011 I'm looking forward to getting some closure on that front - and once I find out, it could be good news or bad news, but at least I'll know where I stand and what I need to do. I realized that while I do keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, I've been lucky thus far in life that it has been stable. Now that ground is shaking and it's tougher to remain standing. I hope I don't lose my footing.
January: A First for 2010
Maybe it is true, how they say that the moment you stop looking for a special someone, one will come to you. I rang in 2010 with a bang - actually, a kiss. My first new year's kiss. (And only one thus far - I'm not gonna get one this time around because my boyfriend's in Taiwan.) A fun night and a lot of closure and answers to lingering questions from high school. I was so happy to be living freely, doing whatever I wanted, not being tied down... and that night was a testament to it all. Two weeks later I met Sherwood. Funny how those things happen.
February: What would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud.
Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
Marking two years since Nanay (my maternal grandmother) died. Now it's been almost three. I hope she's proud of me. To be honest, I'm not very proud of me. There are a lot of things I wish I would've done differently.
March: THIS WEEKEND WAS AMAZING.
I met Sherwood in January of this year, so I thought that most of my entries would be about him, and our falling in love, and all the gushing that went along with it for me. Imagine my surprise that I held out till March! I'm kidding. I know there are many entries about him between the lines, that just weren't lucky enough to be the first one of the month. But I'm glad that I managed to keep my journaling life not all about him.
Really though, that weekend was awesome.
April: quote.
I still feel the same about that quote. Though I wish I didn't cry SO easily. Sometimes it's embarrassing.
May: "I love you. Most ardently." - P&P 2005
We met in January, and five months later we're admitting we love each other. I'm pretty sure he knew he loved me long before then, but for me it was a few weeks of knowing it, knowing he felt the same, knowing that if I was the second one to realize it I should probably say it first, and then worrying about how and when to say it. It ended up in a profession of love not as awesome as Mr. Darcy's in Pride & Prejudice (the 2005 film) but definitely one of the best moments of my life thus far.
June: I feel like I'm fifteen...
Oh, to be young and in love. With a computer. And the urge to procrastinate.
July: Maybe I should've picked a different major...
CRAP I still need to work on that! I talked to my instructor early this semester, we fleshed out what my argument should be, and he said I should try to present at the National Undergraduate Bioethics Conference. It's at Duke this year. I had emailed someone and he said that abstracts for presentations would be due mid-January.
If I could do college all over again... Maybe I would pick a different major. I haven't gotten less than a 3.5 in any non-science course I took in college. Not so much for the science ones.
August: He says he doesn't see the resemblance...
I thought this entry was really funny and cool but then it didn't get any comments. Maybe I came off as being like, "OMG I'm so cool because my boyfriend is so hot and he looks like Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt." I mean, he is hot. To me. And I do think there is a resemblance. But I wasn't looking for praises or anything... I hope my LJ friends don't think I'm a tool...
September: Coming Full Circle
Laura and I started thinking about moments in our lives in which we come full circle first on the way home from a Dashboard Confessional concert for my sixteenth birthday. Five years later... Yup, still thinkin'.
October: Wishful Thinking
I actually enjoyed writing those essays, and all the introspection involved. Just not the having to sound professional and stick to a character count. Whack.
November: Oh dear god.
I'm still not into med school. It's all I want. I just need to know. It's killing me. I don't want to talk about it.
December: Best series of texts EVER.
Okay, despite as a whole not being proud of myself at the moment, I had a lot of fun that night/day, and this year.
2010 was an emotional rollercoaster. Falling in love with Sherwood was an intense high, one that I'm still riding. But the stress that applying to med school brought tainted it in a big way. For 2011 I'm looking forward to getting some closure on that front - and once I find out, it could be good news or bad news, but at least I'll know where I stand and what I need to do. I realized that while I do keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, I've been lucky thus far in life that it has been stable. Now that ground is shaking and it's tougher to remain standing. I hope I don't lose my footing.