Fall Out
So the weather has broken, what a bummer, typically my bod has let me down at the same time. Why this red stuff and cramps why? Actually it doesn't really peeve me as it used to, but I always think great, more laundry.
Am kind of still dealing with the emotional fallout of yesterday's outburst. It is so easy (specially last night) to fall into thinking myself a bad person to say such things and feel them too. I can't explain why I needed to say it, I meant it all, and now I can't explain why I'm all on edge about it, apart from fearing B will hate me forever for this.
Feather tells me off for thinking panicked worried thoughts like this. Bubblegum's reactions have mostly been sweetly worried but she's said nothing since yesterday morning.
But I don't do things like that normally. Normally I just get gloomy mournful and cry or something victim like. Normally I don't get this angry, and if I do I don't express it. I have no experience in this department. I have no idea what I want to say to B or even if I can say anything to her.
Just want her to keep breathing and more than anything to stay friends with me.
But right now while that's on my mind it's not really the key thing in my heart, which is blank of anything much except the need to exercise and thereby avoid cramps, and get looking at the local papers jobs, oh and watch that Angel tape borrowed from Uwo's brother. How strange.
Am kind of still dealing with the emotional fallout of yesterday's outburst. It is so easy (specially last night) to fall into thinking myself a bad person to say such things and feel them too. I can't explain why I needed to say it, I meant it all, and now I can't explain why I'm all on edge about it, apart from fearing B will hate me forever for this.
Feather tells me off for thinking panicked worried thoughts like this. Bubblegum's reactions have mostly been sweetly worried but she's said nothing since yesterday morning.
But I don't do things like that normally. Normally I just get gloomy mournful and cry or something victim like. Normally I don't get this angry, and if I do I don't express it. I have no experience in this department. I have no idea what I want to say to B or even if I can say anything to her.
Just want her to keep breathing and more than anything to stay friends with me.
But right now while that's on my mind it's not really the key thing in my heart, which is blank of anything much except the need to exercise and thereby avoid cramps, and get looking at the local papers jobs, oh and watch that Angel tape borrowed from Uwo's brother. How strange.