Someday this will be over
But in the meantime today in a sort of it's all over type frame of mind I found myself daydreaming a convo with J about why I've acted the way I did about him.
The shortest version went 'you're not interested and I'm trying not to embarrass myself'
another went
'prejudice, hurt, anger or irritation, too late'
and variations of that theme.
Whatever. I don't hate myself for obsession but it's so frustrating and deja vu.
Another thing I said in my inner voice dialogues was
'I knew you weren't interested, because I was'
That's how I don't even feel I just sort of know these days, it feels like knowing about the effects of gravity or light. Men aren't interested, or if they are, I'm not, and/or they are tossers. Sodding typical.
Anyway I'm not really moping.
I had a wicked afternoon, I got home early (no overtime) dossed for a bit, watched the end of chicago (the zeta jones zellwigger(?) version) and then my cousin the exbarrister/legal adviser turned up with her daughter. I entertained her daughter while she chatted to m+d about her bro (the criminal law solicitor cousin who's in hospital right now).
Her daughter is now 10 and is completely mental in a fab way. She's funny and very chatty and imaginative and spontaneous and energetic and she wore me out. I hope I get to see her again before she gets any older, altho seeing her older would be cool too.
Not sure what other news there is
love y'all
QR
The shortest version went 'you're not interested and I'm trying not to embarrass myself'
another went
'prejudice, hurt, anger or irritation, too late'
and variations of that theme.
Whatever. I don't hate myself for obsession but it's so frustrating and deja vu.
Another thing I said in my inner voice dialogues was
'I knew you weren't interested, because I was'
That's how I don't even feel I just sort of know these days, it feels like knowing about the effects of gravity or light. Men aren't interested, or if they are, I'm not, and/or they are tossers. Sodding typical.
Anyway I'm not really moping.
I had a wicked afternoon, I got home early (no overtime) dossed for a bit, watched the end of chicago (the zeta jones zellwigger(?) version) and then my cousin the exbarrister/legal adviser turned up with her daughter. I entertained her daughter while she chatted to m+d about her bro (the criminal law solicitor cousin who's in hospital right now).
Her daughter is now 10 and is completely mental in a fab way. She's funny and very chatty and imaginative and spontaneous and energetic and she wore me out. I hope I get to see her again before she gets any older, altho seeing her older would be cool too.
Not sure what other news there is
love y'all
QR