(no subject)
i seen this girl that my hubby cheated on me with. she was like "give me a hug" and all i could feel was my hands tightening into fists at my side. i could feel the anger sucking the life out of my mind. all the hurt and pain is still with me and i hafta c her.
well i dont' know y but i decided that i needed another job. i am now working 2 full time jobs and am seriously trying to "WORK" out my anger and pain that i have.
i am so lonely. it's been about 2 months since me and my hubby made love. it gets really lonely when u r in a house full of people but don't have n e one. the few people that i do have are way far away from me and i can't stand this.
i wanna talk to "HER" and c what she has to say but i am scared. scared of the feelings that will overtake me when i'm talking with her. i don't know what will happen. i might snap and beat the shit out of her................or i could very well sit down and just squawl.
i do know one thing. i can't stand feeling so lonely n e more.
and that's where matt comes in. yes i know i'm married but so is he and all there is to it is talking. he is a regular customer in my store and we've been getting friendlier with each other. and what i mean by that is that we are there to talk with each other. and things have really opened up between us. he's there for me to talk to. and i really miss that. i miss feeling like i'm someone. matt makes me feel like a person. not a wife or a "significant other" but a real person...........a person with feelings. he listens to me and i do the same for him. we are both going through the same thing right now. the feelings of lonliness and we are there for each other to talk to.
i really miss that in michael. when he actually cared about my feelings or how i was feeling. now i feel like all i do is bother him when i tell him that i need to talk about something. we dont' even talk n e more. everything that we do is like a "ROUTINE" of life. kiss b/4 i go to work.........kiss b/4 bed and good night. that's about it. this is another reason y i went and got another job b/c i can't stand feeling lonely. and maybe if i work it all out i will feel better. it's not working right now but hopefully i can work it out.
i've seriously been thinking about moving out for a while. just to give us both a break from each other. i really don't feel like i am needed or wanted n e more.
wat i really want to do is pack my shit and move far away from here. maybe to my sis's. i really miss her and my ems. she always made me feel better. but if i move to my sis's i'll be moving far away from my lil boy. i don't know. i've got alot of shit that i've gotta work out amongst myself. i wanna be happy again. and i just don't c i coming n e day soon.
PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH!!!!!!!
well i dont' know y but i decided that i needed another job. i am now working 2 full time jobs and am seriously trying to "WORK" out my anger and pain that i have.
i am so lonely. it's been about 2 months since me and my hubby made love. it gets really lonely when u r in a house full of people but don't have n e one. the few people that i do have are way far away from me and i can't stand this.
i wanna talk to "HER" and c what she has to say but i am scared. scared of the feelings that will overtake me when i'm talking with her. i don't know what will happen. i might snap and beat the shit out of her................or i could very well sit down and just squawl.
i do know one thing. i can't stand feeling so lonely n e more.
and that's where matt comes in. yes i know i'm married but so is he and all there is to it is talking. he is a regular customer in my store and we've been getting friendlier with each other. and what i mean by that is that we are there to talk with each other. and things have really opened up between us. he's there for me to talk to. and i really miss that. i miss feeling like i'm someone. matt makes me feel like a person. not a wife or a "significant other" but a real person...........a person with feelings. he listens to me and i do the same for him. we are both going through the same thing right now. the feelings of lonliness and we are there for each other to talk to.
i really miss that in michael. when he actually cared about my feelings or how i was feeling. now i feel like all i do is bother him when i tell him that i need to talk about something. we dont' even talk n e more. everything that we do is like a "ROUTINE" of life. kiss b/4 i go to work.........kiss b/4 bed and good night. that's about it. this is another reason y i went and got another job b/c i can't stand feeling lonely. and maybe if i work it all out i will feel better. it's not working right now but hopefully i can work it out.
i've seriously been thinking about moving out for a while. just to give us both a break from each other. i really don't feel like i am needed or wanted n e more.
wat i really want to do is pack my shit and move far away from here. maybe to my sis's. i really miss her and my ems. she always made me feel better. but if i move to my sis's i'll be moving far away from my lil boy. i don't know. i've got alot of shit that i've gotta work out amongst myself. i wanna be happy again. and i just don't c i coming n e day soon.
PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH!!!!!!!