just thinking
where to begin????
don't really know what is going to happen to me right now. i'm getting this strange feeling that my hubby is cheating again. but it might be me. b/c everytime i call the house he is home.............i mean i check up on him regularly ...........but i still don't know.
i think he's falling out of love with me. he has always told me that he couldn't sleep w/ a girl unless he has some sort of feelings for her. well guess who AIN'T getting n e right now. i try and all he says is that he can't b/c of the medicine. i honestly think it's more to it than that.
my sis has been so wonderful through all of this. i really wish i could just close my eyes and the answer would come to me. it's like everytime i ask him to do something he gets sick or hurt or something. like last night: i asked him to come and talk to me while i was taking a bath. he said ok. well then of course he said that he didn't feel good. he kept on saying that he was gonna come in and sit with me and i said ok. he asked if that was alright (b/c i kept telling him if he was that sick that he needed to go to bed) and i said yes that i really would like for him to come and sit with me. well i took my bath and i kept on praying to God that if he still gave even an inkling of a shit about me that he would come and sit with me. well guess what. he never came. and if u don't think that makes me feel really bad well u've got another thing coming. i have cried and cried over him and the shit that he does. i just don't know n e more.
i'm working all the time and i very rarely get on the puter n e more. i'm tired and he has the audacity to tell me that he can't go pick up a paper from the fucking doctor because he is tired. HE AIN'T DONE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! so of course once again i'm here to do and do and do and never receive. well i went to pick the paper up from the doctor and guess what. they wouldn't let me have it. some technical bullshit about the form that they filled out was for american general insurance and that since they don't have a medical release for american general insurance that they can't release it to n e one except for my hubby. I JUST LAUGHED MY ASS OFF B/C NOW HE ACTUALLY HAD TO GO AND DO SOMETHING. ROFLMAO
so of course he got pissed about this b/c he actually had to go pick it up and deal with some responsibility. this mean he had to take the forms to the insurance co. and deal with them. i really thought it funny b/c he totally and completely avoids all responsibility right now.
i don't know what is gonna become of me and my life. all i know is that i am sick and tired of being put on the back burner for every one and every thing else. i should'nt feel so lonely when i live in a house full of people and i'm suppose to be "THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN HIS LIFE".
i am at a loss right now. all i wanna do is work work work and sleep. i really don't even want him close to me right now. he makes me feel so bad about myself that i hafta pick myself up after i get away from him. i just don't like feeling like i'm not important as other shit.
don't really know what is going to happen to me right now. i'm getting this strange feeling that my hubby is cheating again. but it might be me. b/c everytime i call the house he is home.............i mean i check up on him regularly ...........but i still don't know.
i think he's falling out of love with me. he has always told me that he couldn't sleep w/ a girl unless he has some sort of feelings for her. well guess who AIN'T getting n e right now. i try and all he says is that he can't b/c of the medicine. i honestly think it's more to it than that.
my sis has been so wonderful through all of this. i really wish i could just close my eyes and the answer would come to me. it's like everytime i ask him to do something he gets sick or hurt or something. like last night: i asked him to come and talk to me while i was taking a bath. he said ok. well then of course he said that he didn't feel good. he kept on saying that he was gonna come in and sit with me and i said ok. he asked if that was alright (b/c i kept telling him if he was that sick that he needed to go to bed) and i said yes that i really would like for him to come and sit with me. well i took my bath and i kept on praying to God that if he still gave even an inkling of a shit about me that he would come and sit with me. well guess what. he never came. and if u don't think that makes me feel really bad well u've got another thing coming. i have cried and cried over him and the shit that he does. i just don't know n e more.
i'm working all the time and i very rarely get on the puter n e more. i'm tired and he has the audacity to tell me that he can't go pick up a paper from the fucking doctor because he is tired. HE AIN'T DONE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! so of course once again i'm here to do and do and do and never receive. well i went to pick the paper up from the doctor and guess what. they wouldn't let me have it. some technical bullshit about the form that they filled out was for american general insurance and that since they don't have a medical release for american general insurance that they can't release it to n e one except for my hubby. I JUST LAUGHED MY ASS OFF B/C NOW HE ACTUALLY HAD TO GO AND DO SOMETHING. ROFLMAO
so of course he got pissed about this b/c he actually had to go pick it up and deal with some responsibility. this mean he had to take the forms to the insurance co. and deal with them. i really thought it funny b/c he totally and completely avoids all responsibility right now.
i don't know what is gonna become of me and my life. all i know is that i am sick and tired of being put on the back burner for every one and every thing else. i should'nt feel so lonely when i live in a house full of people and i'm suppose to be "THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN HIS LIFE".
i am at a loss right now. all i wanna do is work work work and sleep. i really don't even want him close to me right now. he makes me feel so bad about myself that i hafta pick myself up after i get away from him. i just don't like feeling like i'm not important as other shit.