realizing the truth
i guess there comes a time in every one's life that they realize that one thing that's supposed to be forever...........is no where near that steady and secure.
my sister made me realize this with her poem.......(read below)
*Truely*
By: red robin spirit (LOVE YA SIS)
Those resistant and giving mood swings
drive me up the wall
yet for some reason
I always heed to your call
just the mere thought of your caressing touch
seems to be satisfaction enough
in trying to remain understanding and neutral
in the situations that you describe
my entire being craves for you to just love me
and leave all of the pain of the past behind
a great potential exists between us
I can see it, and so can you
but your demons are keeping your heart at bay
your mind refusing to give in
unwilling to trust
so much, so little, too much
not even nearly enough
you have no idea what it is like
to be truely loved
wholely, selflessly, unconditionally
yet you are all too willing to never see
I will be here for you
always and forever
by your side, waiting, hoping
someday we will be together
the fact and the thought that i really have no idea what it is like to be truly loved scares the fuck out of me. i've been married for four years now and i just don't know wtf i was thinking. i don't know y my eyes seem to be opening up wider and wider now but they r. it seems like all i've been living for has been the wrong reasons. i don't do n e thing for myself. it is always for someone else. not that i'm saying that i didn't like it, but there comes a time when one has to open "HER" eyes and realize that something has to be done for herself. the sadness and depression won't seem to go away. that is a major sign that something is wrong. i'm not crying n e more and i guess it is b/c i am finally starting to do for my self. i can't go on like this. i need ME to make it and for the longest time i didn't have me. all i had was everyone else.
now mind u this isn't in any way to offend n e one. i have just realized that i don't even know my self. i am always too busy doing for others and that i never took the time for myself. i feel kinda selfish right now tho. it seems weird worrying bout myself rather than someone else. but u know this is the first time in a long time that i haven't felt the weight of the world on my chest. i feel like a ton has been lifted off my chest.
my sis has made me realize that i hafta do for me everyonce in a while b/c this is what happens. and i guess the only way one can every feel truely loved is only after they learn to love themselves!!!!!!!!
i am very grateful for the fact that i had someone that really helped me through this depressing enthrailing miserable time in my life and I LOVE U SIS! U KNOW U ARE THE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!
she listened to me bitch/cry/whine/scream/and n e thing else i had to say between the emotional moments (and believe me there were alot) thank u sis..............i love u. u never held back on the adviced whether it's what i wanted to hear or not. u told me what i NEEDED to hear.............not wat i WANTED to hear. thank u!!!!!!!!
give em's hugs and kisses for me.
dus says hi
my sister made me realize this with her poem.......(read below)
*Truely*
By: red robin spirit (LOVE YA SIS)
Those resistant and giving mood swings
drive me up the wall
yet for some reason
I always heed to your call
just the mere thought of your caressing touch
seems to be satisfaction enough
in trying to remain understanding and neutral
in the situations that you describe
my entire being craves for you to just love me
and leave all of the pain of the past behind
a great potential exists between us
I can see it, and so can you
but your demons are keeping your heart at bay
your mind refusing to give in
unwilling to trust
so much, so little, too much
not even nearly enough
you have no idea what it is like
to be truely loved
wholely, selflessly, unconditionally
yet you are all too willing to never see
I will be here for you
always and forever
by your side, waiting, hoping
someday we will be together
the fact and the thought that i really have no idea what it is like to be truly loved scares the fuck out of me. i've been married for four years now and i just don't know wtf i was thinking. i don't know y my eyes seem to be opening up wider and wider now but they r. it seems like all i've been living for has been the wrong reasons. i don't do n e thing for myself. it is always for someone else. not that i'm saying that i didn't like it, but there comes a time when one has to open "HER" eyes and realize that something has to be done for herself. the sadness and depression won't seem to go away. that is a major sign that something is wrong. i'm not crying n e more and i guess it is b/c i am finally starting to do for my self. i can't go on like this. i need ME to make it and for the longest time i didn't have me. all i had was everyone else.
now mind u this isn't in any way to offend n e one. i have just realized that i don't even know my self. i am always too busy doing for others and that i never took the time for myself. i feel kinda selfish right now tho. it seems weird worrying bout myself rather than someone else. but u know this is the first time in a long time that i haven't felt the weight of the world on my chest. i feel like a ton has been lifted off my chest.
my sis has made me realize that i hafta do for me everyonce in a while b/c this is what happens. and i guess the only way one can every feel truely loved is only after they learn to love themselves!!!!!!!!
i am very grateful for the fact that i had someone that really helped me through this depressing enthrailing miserable time in my life and I LOVE U SIS! U KNOW U ARE THE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!
she listened to me bitch/cry/whine/scream/and n e thing else i had to say between the emotional moments (and believe me there were alot) thank u sis..............i love u. u never held back on the adviced whether it's what i wanted to hear or not. u told me what i NEEDED to hear.............not wat i WANTED to hear. thank u!!!!!!!!
give em's hugs and kisses for me.
dus says hi