this bitter heart can't even say sorry to you
Characters: aunomdedieu, ebony-bone, thesamename
Date: Post Labyrinth
Summary: Caprica comes home.
Warnings: Jackie has some self-hate and suicide issues that crop up, maybe they won't, I guess we'll find out. I am sure they're all going to angst over each other.
This place made Jackie feel incredibly small and lost. She'd already had enough to fear in her fellow man, without making the world around her a hazard as well. A hazard she was completely unfamiliar with, and one she was not entirely sure how to adapt to. She was not entirely conscious of it until she was here, but she'd relied upon her steady routines of day to day life a tremendous amount. They'd helped to hold her together when everything inside her was trying to come undo. Being ripped away from them was disorienting, left her feeling hopeless and defenseless.
Of course, the latter had been exacerbated horrifically by the roses. The attack defied rational to Jackie, it remained surreal and vivid in her mind. She would not be happy to admit to the fear, but it was terrifying to her. She had no real frame of reference for magic and monsters, anything was possible and her imagination had a flair for the worst case scenario. She didn't really know how to go about quieting it, but then there was Caprica, who had saved her and been calm and patient and indescribably gentle with her. Who had made her feel safe again. It was still new to Jackie, safety, she had only recently just reacquired that sense from Dominique after years of lonely deprivation. Without Dom, it was a relief to find a new avatar for it. It was a relief to be able to hide inside the house, it was a relief to see Caprica throughout the day, to know she was nearby and watching. Her company was a welcome interruption on the lonely nights.
And now that she was gone into the Labyrinth... Jackie was anxious. Anxious without her, but not alone in the house. She had Dominique there to keep her safe, but it didn't stop her worrying, and the worry itself only blossomed further while wondering what she was meant to say if Dominique noticed her concern. She struggled verbalizing her care as it was, and she still wasn't certain in her own mind about what she truly felt for Caprica. So, she did her best to keep herself distracted, cleaning a number of things that really didn't need to be cleaned, doing laundry. She turned to the books in the library, briefly,
Are you coming back? Are you all right?
but couldn't focus on them well enough and quickly turned to the kitchen, thinking about something she could cook. Something she had no been doing much of here, her relationship with food deteriorated under stress, but just because she was cooking didn't mean she had to eat. She could force that on Dominique instead, maybe.
Date: Post Labyrinth
Summary: Caprica comes home.
Warnings: Jackie has some self-hate and suicide issues that crop up, maybe they won't, I guess we'll find out. I am sure they're all going to angst over each other.
This place made Jackie feel incredibly small and lost. She'd already had enough to fear in her fellow man, without making the world around her a hazard as well. A hazard she was completely unfamiliar with, and one she was not entirely sure how to adapt to. She was not entirely conscious of it until she was here, but she'd relied upon her steady routines of day to day life a tremendous amount. They'd helped to hold her together when everything inside her was trying to come undo. Being ripped away from them was disorienting, left her feeling hopeless and defenseless.
Of course, the latter had been exacerbated horrifically by the roses. The attack defied rational to Jackie, it remained surreal and vivid in her mind. She would not be happy to admit to the fear, but it was terrifying to her. She had no real frame of reference for magic and monsters, anything was possible and her imagination had a flair for the worst case scenario. She didn't really know how to go about quieting it, but then there was Caprica, who had saved her and been calm and patient and indescribably gentle with her. Who had made her feel safe again. It was still new to Jackie, safety, she had only recently just reacquired that sense from Dominique after years of lonely deprivation. Without Dom, it was a relief to find a new avatar for it. It was a relief to be able to hide inside the house, it was a relief to see Caprica throughout the day, to know she was nearby and watching. Her company was a welcome interruption on the lonely nights.
And now that she was gone into the Labyrinth... Jackie was anxious. Anxious without her, but not alone in the house. She had Dominique there to keep her safe, but it didn't stop her worrying, and the worry itself only blossomed further while wondering what she was meant to say if Dominique noticed her concern. She struggled verbalizing her care as it was, and she still wasn't certain in her own mind about what she truly felt for Caprica. So, she did her best to keep herself distracted, cleaning a number of things that really didn't need to be cleaned, doing laundry. She turned to the books in the library, briefly,
Are you coming back? Are you all right?
but couldn't focus on them well enough and quickly turned to the kitchen, thinking about something she could cook. Something she had no been doing much of here, her relationship with food deteriorated under stress, but just because she was cooking didn't mean she had to eat. She could force that on Dominique instead, maybe.