Awww Shit
I've been sick for about 2 weeks now. It started with one of my roommates, he got the flu, almost died, the whole nine yards. Then I got sick, I didn't get the flu, I got the never fucking ending cold. It sucks, but the only thing I hate more than being sick is, fat chicks, lefties, hippies, and doctors. The first three don't really pertain so moving along, I don't hate doctors for any of those weird irrational reasons, i.e. "shots", "that funny smell", or how "he always touches me in private spots". No, I don't like the doctor because growing up the only thing the doctor could do for me is keep me away from sports. "You're leg is broken", "You have another concussion" so know when I get sick I don't go to the doctors, I self-diagnosis. I have no problem taking handfuls of Vicodin, I have no problem swallowing adherol for a pop quiz. I feel Aleve should be taken only if there is no Oxy-Cotin and if you have to take aleve, take 8. So there was no way a stupid little cold was going to make me go to the doctors. I'll just double up on the cold and flu medicine I have been taking. BAD IDEA
From what I can gather, Sudifed, or the likes, liquefy the mucus in my sinuses, relieve pressure, and get rid of body aches, so if I take 4 it should just do it faster right? Well it did…… sort of. Only instead of liquefying mucus it liquefied everything in my body. It started with the “question” fart. The one where you walking along minding your own business pass a little gas and then you have to question whether that was a fart or a little more. I ran up to my bathroom, sat on throne and had the most earth shattering ground-breaking, Van Wilder esque shit of my life. I like to call the kind of shit I had the rock in front of the cave shit. You sit down the first pebble comes out and its solid, and before you can even think, “Few its solid” Niagara Falls comes flying out of you ass only unlike Niagara Falls this shit is angry. For 20 minutes I pissed out of my ass. And for the three hours since then I have had the sea god bubble. Where you have that feeling in your stomach, like you don’t have to go to the bathroom, but if you tempt me, I can make you go.
Normally I wouldn’t share something this personal on the Internet. But I have for two reasons, 1.) I would hate for anyone to go through the half hour of unbearable burning shit, like I did. And 2) No reads my journal anyway so even if I was to get embarrassed its not like anyone reads the shit I write about.
From what I can gather, Sudifed, or the likes, liquefy the mucus in my sinuses, relieve pressure, and get rid of body aches, so if I take 4 it should just do it faster right? Well it did…… sort of. Only instead of liquefying mucus it liquefied everything in my body. It started with the “question” fart. The one where you walking along minding your own business pass a little gas and then you have to question whether that was a fart or a little more. I ran up to my bathroom, sat on throne and had the most earth shattering ground-breaking, Van Wilder esque shit of my life. I like to call the kind of shit I had the rock in front of the cave shit. You sit down the first pebble comes out and its solid, and before you can even think, “Few its solid” Niagara Falls comes flying out of you ass only unlike Niagara Falls this shit is angry. For 20 minutes I pissed out of my ass. And for the three hours since then I have had the sea god bubble. Where you have that feeling in your stomach, like you don’t have to go to the bathroom, but if you tempt me, I can make you go.
Normally I wouldn’t share something this personal on the Internet. But I have for two reasons, 1.) I would hate for anyone to go through the half hour of unbearable burning shit, like I did. And 2) No reads my journal anyway so even if I was to get embarrassed its not like anyone reads the shit I write about.