The Mills Brainwashing strikes again! Or: Fucked up wife survey
So I saw a wife survey liked on the Straight Dope, which is the source of all of my even vaguely interesting posts. I thought: Hey, they need replies. I'm not married, but I've been living with Sam and in a completely monogomous relationship with him for longer than many people have been, are are able to stay, married, so I count!
So off I go to take the survey.
OH MY GOD. The damn thing was RIDICULOUSLY slanted towards creating a picture of a woman trapped in an unhappy, loveless marriage. The only vague nod to positive marital experiences are questions where you could answer positively or negatively. These frequently have the "small" text fields. And then, there are question after question like these:
Do you wish your husband would ever "just leave"? Why? (big text field with appararently unlimited space)
Do you often fake orgasms in bed? If yes, why? (big text field)
Is there a dark secret that your husband can never find out? (big list of dark secrets) (big text field for further dark secret elaboration) (Another text field for dark secret elaboration, in case the long list of dark secrets didn't have this particularly juicy dark secret)
Have you ever cheated on your husband? What wifely responsibilities do you wish you could delegate?
And so on. And so on. NOT A SINGLE QUESTION about, say 'does your husband do anything really considerate that makes you feel good? If yes, what?' or 'What are some happy memories you have with your husband?' or... anything. ANYTHING POSITIVE.
So I took the survey and I unleashed the Mills brainwashing and I gave those assholes a piece of my fucking MIND. I finished by telling them that they should be ashamed of themselves for building a slanted survey that creates a picture of the housewife/drudge who's locked in an unhappy marriage, the victim of a loveless life, powerless to get away, faking orgasms, cheating (or wishing she could cheat), hiding secrets from her spouse because she doesn't trust him to accept her as she is. That's the woman they want to see in their survey -- they want to reinforce ALL of the ugly negative themes and symbols in our culture that have held women back. And I told them all about it, oh yes I did.
Here is the survey.. Go and have a look for a laugh at the unabashed negativity, and while you're there, those of you who are wives or are in committed relationships, give them a piece of your fucking mind, too.
I don't often ask people to pass links along, but I'm asking now. I want the inboxes of these anti-feminist pigs to be flooded with feminist screeds, each one nastier and harder to dispute than the last. Maybe it won't change any minds, maybe it won't open up any eyes, but at the very least, it will FORCE these people to see that however much they don't want to see it, there's another side out there, and that other side thinks they're full of shit.
ETA: Oh, and husbands? I invite you to get in on the act as well. No need to slant their numbers, but there are lots of text fields wherein you can rant at them to your heart's content about how your wife is stronger than this and more self-assured than this and if she didn't like a "wifely responsibility" she would damn well tell you and it would damn well get delegated, and you hope she's not faking orgasms because if she's not having a good time you want to know about it but you're pretty sure she's not because she is nto shy about announcing what she wants and when she wants it. Show them a picture of the strong women out there whose existances they are denying.
So off I go to take the survey.
OH MY GOD. The damn thing was RIDICULOUSLY slanted towards creating a picture of a woman trapped in an unhappy, loveless marriage. The only vague nod to positive marital experiences are questions where you could answer positively or negatively. These frequently have the "small" text fields. And then, there are question after question like these:
Do you wish your husband would ever "just leave"? Why? (big text field with appararently unlimited space)
Do you often fake orgasms in bed? If yes, why? (big text field)
Is there a dark secret that your husband can never find out? (big list of dark secrets) (big text field for further dark secret elaboration) (Another text field for dark secret elaboration, in case the long list of dark secrets didn't have this particularly juicy dark secret)
Have you ever cheated on your husband? What wifely responsibilities do you wish you could delegate?
And so on. And so on. NOT A SINGLE QUESTION about, say 'does your husband do anything really considerate that makes you feel good? If yes, what?' or 'What are some happy memories you have with your husband?' or... anything. ANYTHING POSITIVE.
So I took the survey and I unleashed the Mills brainwashing and I gave those assholes a piece of my fucking MIND. I finished by telling them that they should be ashamed of themselves for building a slanted survey that creates a picture of the housewife/drudge who's locked in an unhappy marriage, the victim of a loveless life, powerless to get away, faking orgasms, cheating (or wishing she could cheat), hiding secrets from her spouse because she doesn't trust him to accept her as she is. That's the woman they want to see in their survey -- they want to reinforce ALL of the ugly negative themes and symbols in our culture that have held women back. And I told them all about it, oh yes I did.
Here is the survey.. Go and have a look for a laugh at the unabashed negativity, and while you're there, those of you who are wives or are in committed relationships, give them a piece of your fucking mind, too.
I don't often ask people to pass links along, but I'm asking now. I want the inboxes of these anti-feminist pigs to be flooded with feminist screeds, each one nastier and harder to dispute than the last. Maybe it won't change any minds, maybe it won't open up any eyes, but at the very least, it will FORCE these people to see that however much they don't want to see it, there's another side out there, and that other side thinks they're full of shit.
ETA: Oh, and husbands? I invite you to get in on the act as well. No need to slant their numbers, but there are lots of text fields wherein you can rant at them to your heart's content about how your wife is stronger than this and more self-assured than this and if she didn't like a "wifely responsibility" she would damn well tell you and it would damn well get delegated, and you hope she's not faking orgasms because if she's not having a good time you want to know about it but you're pretty sure she's not because she is nto shy about announcing what she wants and when she wants it. Show them a picture of the strong women out there whose existances they are denying.