(no subject)
It is officially October. I am going on a cruise in a week and I'm nervous but excited. I think I am more excited than nervous right now because it has been so long and quite honestly, I need this. Man, this year was tough! I was reading back on my entries from high school and then some in 2020. More on the high school part later, but I was very much naive in 2020 to think I was processing anything that had happened at the end of 2019 and, really, everything lol.
But now I have really thoroughly began processing and it wasn't something I actively sought to do. I knew I was experiencing pretty bad seasonal depression last winter, which made me reach out to a new therapist. I began talking about things, but it wasn't until I was talking about it with the others that experienced it too and discovering soooo many things.
ANyway, it really feels like I'm coming to the end of this part of my "recovery." It's this really... validating feeling knowing I was not the only one and really, I always knew that, but talking to someone else? Hoooly shit. Game changer! And then processing and reading my journal and really seeing glimpses of my life laid out for literally 20 years in snippets of really silly entries and then some less silly entries. It makes me... feel like I am making major progress.
Also, not taking weed has been helpful and finding the proper ADHD medication has been helpful and the weather allowing me to hike more (fuck the excessive rain this year though) has also been helpful! Today I went to Carrs with my mother and Bandit because our literal hiking crew was all either sick or out of state. But it was nice. Had to go slow because it's challenging for my mom but I found so many cool mushrooms. It's the last SUnday hike for 2 weeks unless we go the day we get back.
Either way, I am so excited to see foliage and get the hell away for a bit! Honestly, this is a great time to do it because of all the major decisions I've made over the past few weeks.
Man, do I feel better about everything. When I made the decision with the business, I felt like an entire weight was off my shoulders. I think this is the best way to go and honestly, I think I'll be ahead of the curb with it too because of how the trends are going.
I can't believe Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce and all the Swifties have decided to become football fans now lol I love that. I also love that she has been helping register voters.
ANYWAY getting rambly.
My cruise is going to make me miss a meeting that I really wanted to go to, but hopefully I can go in November and I can actually GET to the place this time lolol
I have a lot to think about though maybe I will use this journal actively like I used to back in the day.