Marvel is Not Loki, So Stop Tricking Me!!! (General Dark World Stuff)
My mother, who knows I love Loki and want his blue frosty babies, convinced me to go to the Movies with her for a double feature this past weekend. While I held her hand during Hunger Games: Catching Fire she let me cling to her arm during Thor: The Dark World. It was not what I was expecting. It rather felt like someone had swapped out my Coke Classic for Coke Zero and tried to tell me they tasted the same. I want my Coke back. Not that the visuals and general story weren't gorgeous/interesting, but the editing was crap and I feel like there should be an hour worth's of deleted scenes that need liberating so the damn characters start making sense.
Jane has turned into an Elle Woods without the bits that make me like her - though I thought Jane was better in the beginning of the film when she was acting like a SCIENCE!Mercenary instead of a Lady Naps-a-Lot. Thor is... I honestly don't know what is up with Thor, and to be fair he probably doesn't know either. Mom died, brother is in prison/dead, and Dad is freaking bipolar dictator. One second Odin's basically telling his son that he's committing bestiality and the next how 'proud' he is of him for it. Loki is in serious need of some deleted scenes. Part of me thinks that the final scene wasn't Loki pretending to be Odin but Odin pretending to be Loki pretending to be Odin... because that would be about as in character as everything else going on. Also that line about trust and tricks? Frigga DID trust Loki, hence she gave him Asgard in the first movie. There just needs be more Frigga, period.
And honestly? I think it would serve them all right if the Warriors found out Loki has somehow usurped Odin and plotted to get the AllFather back. So they stage a civil war or something, find whatever closet Odin was stashed in, and after a long bloody battle get the True King back... but Odin is still cranky from having his Odinsleep interrupted, again, and finally remembers that these are the motherfuckers that commit treason every damn movie and has them publicly executed while explaining to Thor and those assembled that the pardons had been given by Loki-as-Odin and as such were not legally binding. And then, just for good measure, Odin sends some guards down to kill Jane Foster for using her feminine wiles to seduce his son.
And then declares Steve Rogers, Baldur Reborn, as Heir Apparent.
But speaking of the distinguised Captain, I was pleasantly surprised by the Winter Soldier preview that came on before Dark World, and I think it would be HILARIOUS and SEXY if Steve became disillusioned with SHIELD and the world it 'maintains' and decided team up with Loki and take over Vanaheim, just for the change of pace... where apparently Hogun's people are from? Thought that was Frigga, but whatevs.
Jane has turned into an Elle Woods without the bits that make me like her - though I thought Jane was better in the beginning of the film when she was acting like a SCIENCE!Mercenary instead of a Lady Naps-a-Lot. Thor is... I honestly don't know what is up with Thor, and to be fair he probably doesn't know either. Mom died, brother is in prison/dead, and Dad is freaking bipolar dictator. One second Odin's basically telling his son that he's committing bestiality and the next how 'proud' he is of him for it. Loki is in serious need of some deleted scenes. Part of me thinks that the final scene wasn't Loki pretending to be Odin but Odin pretending to be Loki pretending to be Odin... because that would be about as in character as everything else going on. Also that line about trust and tricks? Frigga DID trust Loki, hence she gave him Asgard in the first movie. There just needs be more Frigga, period.
And honestly? I think it would serve them all right if the Warriors found out Loki has somehow usurped Odin and plotted to get the AllFather back. So they stage a civil war or something, find whatever closet Odin was stashed in, and after a long bloody battle get the True King back... but Odin is still cranky from having his Odinsleep interrupted, again, and finally remembers that these are the motherfuckers that commit treason every damn movie and has them publicly executed while explaining to Thor and those assembled that the pardons had been given by Loki-as-Odin and as such were not legally binding. And then, just for good measure, Odin sends some guards down to kill Jane Foster for using her feminine wiles to seduce his son.
And then declares Steve Rogers, Baldur Reborn, as Heir Apparent.
But speaking of the distinguised Captain, I was pleasantly surprised by the Winter Soldier preview that came on before Dark World, and I think it would be HILARIOUS and SEXY if Steve became disillusioned with SHIELD and the world it 'maintains' and decided team up with Loki and take over Vanaheim, just for the change of pace... where apparently Hogun's people are from? Thought that was Frigga, but whatevs.