Never Enough, H50, Steve/Danny, PG-13, Self Challenge Piece Eight
Title: Never Enough
Author: purple_spock
Verse: H50
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Status: Established Relationship, if you can call it a relationship
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 275
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don’t own H50. I do own a lot of mugs though. But no, I’m not willing to trade.
Summary: Steve laments about his relationship with Danny.
AN: The eighth piece in a self-issued challenge of 15 fics in the month of October. They are in no way connected, but I’d be thrilled if you did want to read to other fics in the series so far (follow the tag).
AN II: So, you guys wanted something dark and here it is - my version of dark. Hope it satisfies. Also, I've just noticed I don't have an angsty icon, so this one will have to do.
He told them not to visit him.
He said it was because he didn’t want to be reminded of what he’d lost.
That was a lie. But it was either than the truth.
The truth was he didn’t want to face what he’d never had. An empty visitor’s room was easier to cope with when he could pretend that it was his choice.
Of course Danny had never been his.
He’d told him from the beginning what their relationship was. What Steve meant to him.
Sure he loved Steve, but not enough. Not enough to walk away from his other life. Not enough to forget the past.
When Victor stab’s him he wishes he’d done it right. None of this secret plot bullshit. He doesn’t want another mission. He just wants to go back to how things were before. Before Danny started things back up with Rachel. No, that wasn’t far back enough. Before he had come back to Hawaii. He didn’t want to know what he was missing, what he could have had. If he had been enough.
But he wasn’t.
He thinks about leaving. About running for good and never looking back. About being someone else, who doesn’t have to feel like this.
In the end, he stays. Because he’s a coward, and he doesn’t want to be alone. Because he’s selfish, and he wants to make sure that no one else can have what he can’t. Because he knows, that even if he does, he’ll still be hollow, he’ll still be broken, he still won’t be enough.
He stays because he knows that if he did leave, Danny wouldn’t come after him.
Author: purple_spock
Verse: H50
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Status: Established Relationship, if you can call it a relationship
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 275
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don’t own H50. I do own a lot of mugs though. But no, I’m not willing to trade.
Summary: Steve laments about his relationship with Danny.
AN: The eighth piece in a self-issued challenge of 15 fics in the month of October. They are in no way connected, but I’d be thrilled if you did want to read to other fics in the series so far (follow the tag).
AN II: So, you guys wanted something dark and here it is - my version of dark. Hope it satisfies. Also, I've just noticed I don't have an angsty icon, so this one will have to do.
He told them not to visit him.
He said it was because he didn’t want to be reminded of what he’d lost.
That was a lie. But it was either than the truth.
The truth was he didn’t want to face what he’d never had. An empty visitor’s room was easier to cope with when he could pretend that it was his choice.
Of course Danny had never been his.
He’d told him from the beginning what their relationship was. What Steve meant to him.
Sure he loved Steve, but not enough. Not enough to walk away from his other life. Not enough to forget the past.
When Victor stab’s him he wishes he’d done it right. None of this secret plot bullshit. He doesn’t want another mission. He just wants to go back to how things were before. Before Danny started things back up with Rachel. No, that wasn’t far back enough. Before he had come back to Hawaii. He didn’t want to know what he was missing, what he could have had. If he had been enough.
But he wasn’t.
He thinks about leaving. About running for good and never looking back. About being someone else, who doesn’t have to feel like this.
In the end, he stays. Because he’s a coward, and he doesn’t want to be alone. Because he’s selfish, and he wants to make sure that no one else can have what he can’t. Because he knows, that even if he does, he’ll still be hollow, he’ll still be broken, he still won’t be enough.
He stays because he knows that if he did leave, Danny wouldn’t come after him.