(no subject)
i'm learning that worries never go away. i've been worried about the same things for months and they never ever go away. i'm stressed about school and it never goes away. i'm stressed about mom and it never goes away, it just gets worse. i'm going to miss her so much. i can't even stand thinking about her leaving. what am i going to do. she's not going to see me on my prom night. she's not going to be there for me when some other idiot decides to cheat on me. she's not going to be there for me when my best friend decides that she hates me and everything i stand for. i miss her so much. i miss laughing with her and teasing her. i miss crying with her and crying to her. i miss the bad stuff we did and the good stuff we did. i miss worrying about her. i miss getting annoyed with her. she was my right side for 12 years and now she's gone. and there's nothing i can do about it. she doesn't want me back and now i'm by myself. i have other friends, but no one matters to me anymore. and she has other friends that matter to her. they matter more than i ever did and that's why we can't be friends anymore. its killing me. i worry about it an it never goes away. thoughts of that boy are still with me. his girlfriend is getting fat. they need to quit having sex. pictures flood my memory of everything that happened. if someone only knew. better yet, if someone only cared. i'm so alone with everything right now. no one cares and i find myself writing my thoughts on to a stupid computer. i have so much homework. i need to practice. what if i dont get into julliard? my dream will be ruined and i will have nothing to fall on. i miss him. still. i can't stop. i still cry, i still puke. how can anyone have so much of an impact on me? yet, i have no one to turn to. i miss her so much.