This is a very interesting post and I actually wondered when you were going to do one like this. I am sorry that you had to go through that and I have been through it myself. There are also other reasons besides the ones you stated that people gossip or back stab. One is that they are hurting themselves or they have something about themselves that they are not happy with and so they gossip, back stab, and/or poke fun at others to make themselves feel better or to hide their own flaws. Some also gossip or back stab to make themselves feel powerful or to gain attention from others. Some do it to feel important. I have had instances in another RP that I was in way before KKM or Yugioh that I was back stabbed and stepped on. Mind you I was not really good at RP but I did not deserve the treatment I got. I am past that now and I learned from the situation
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I was very impressed with this comment, Smith. I am big on communication - the ethics, philosophy, and debate over its necessity. You illustrated the very point I usually fall back on: people are not mind readers. How can we expect other people to truly comprehend our intentions, thoughts, et cetera without communicating them to the best of our abilities? Are we not at fault if we believe that "Well, I shouldn't have to explain." These words are often said with contempt and typically, out of frustration.
People get easily frustrated when another person fails to understand what is being communicated. This brings up the question, "Who is really at fault?" Is it the person who has tried and tried again to explain him or herself? Is it possible that the listener doesn't have the intelligence to comprehend, or has the speaker not tried enough? At what point do we draw the line? At what point is the fault now that of the listener and not that of the speaker and vice versa
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It can go either way and sometimes both are to blame a little. As they say, it takes two to tango. Both the speaker and the listener need to give an effort for communication to be possible.
I find that whole "Internet Mask" thing very facinating. Because I'm more open and honest on LJ than I am in real life. My mask isn't here at all. It's in my house. (I guess I'm a backwards person. But it's hard to be 100% who I am at home and I got LJ in order to have a place where I'm not afraid to be honest
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I love that you brought up this point, MOG-chan. I know exactly what you mean, and I remember the instance you referenced. That person who obviously didn't understand the meaning of the word friend. That instance that reignited the discussion over the different types of "internet friends."
What does it mean to have a friend on the internet? From that question is a slough of thousands more - all related directly to the topic. We have had to redefine our social standards with the internet; a whole new culture was born with the advent of the world wide web.
It is a lot easier for a lot of people to "let go" on the net. They don't see any reasons why they should hold back, and they justify their lack of ethics by labeling it under honesty. Being honest means sharing an opinion. Opinions can often be granted unsolicited, and in the case of flamers, unfounded
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Like I often say, the internet was the best thing to happen to me. I do care what my friends think of me, but I'm honest here anyway. Because I feel comfortable to do so. I've had verbal spars of a non-hateful kind with plenty of my friends. Opinions vary and we speak our minds. But we remain friends. It's a possible thing to do, but some go out of their way to elicit the negative reactions in others. Which is sad. But it does leave you to wonder "why?".
In any case, your right. Communication is key no matter what kind of relationship you form or where and how you form it.
*hugs* Warm and fluffy feelings! Yay! ♥ Of course, my squeals, giggles, glomps, and whatnot, which may be virtual, are sincere and do belie my intelligence. LOL Nonetheless, this is an excellent example of communication. Much is said, in this case, with very little, but it's facilitated by honesty. ^_~
I am being intentionally vague, since you were too...nyami_rose1December 24 2009, 16:43:05 UTC
I am truly sorry for what I said on that community. I didn’t realize that people would take it that way. I should have realized how critical that community was, especially after being there for over a year and having felt their wrath before... but never like this. Never enough to get on that hate community, which I checked every day before to make sure I wasn't on it whenever I posted something.
I was wrong, and too casual for a comm ruled by elitists.
They did they're purpose. Now I'm too scared to post on there again. I wanted to post pictures of myself all dressed up, but now I can't. I'm worried people might go "Oh, it's that girl".
Now I realize how girls go bad in that community. The elitism rubs off on you, and now I feel horrible that I've become on of the worst. I was hypocritical. I feel tainted somehow, now, like I can’t watch the effects of their arrogance that they have shared with me off.
I think- no I know- as much as I’ll hate it, and miss it, I need to stay away from the community for a while.
Re: I am being intentionally vague, since you were too...10frozenheavensDecember 24 2009, 17:27:58 UTC
Ah... Yeah, minor point, though, huh? After all, the community and Purple's interaction with it that spawned this entry is the medium though which the cause resulted in the effect. The medium isn't the point. The cause is what is being analyzed here, for we do not favor the effect.
You might feel happier when you let go of the medium.
I love this entry! It's so ironic, on so many levels... For one, knowing what I know, I cannot possibly communicate to you freely in a comment to this entry as I would like to - not without breaking ethical friendship codes and spilling secrets...
The second irony is the irony of you, the identity of Purple. Who knows Purple
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I was thinking of something. This whole conversation brought something to mind. And that is--what makes us who we are? How do we determine our own personalities? Not what others see us as, but how we see our selves. I've been thinking about it often. Through things like acting, writing and even role playing we show an ability to speak and behave in a variety of ways. An ability to follow thought patterns other than what we normaly would. For example, when your naturaly outgoing but can act the part of one who is shy or vice-versa. Be it in acting, writing or roleplaying we do it, don't we? So if we're capable of capturing these views and actions as we do, then why are we not this way ourselves? It's something I keep thinking about. I'm not at all like some of the charactors I write about or whom I play. We're worlds apart. But I still manage to see things through their eyes and put myself in their shoes when I write out their views
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People get easily frustrated when another person fails to understand what is being communicated. This brings up the question, "Who is really at fault?" Is it the person who has tried and tried again to explain him or herself? Is it possible that the listener doesn't have the intelligence to comprehend, or has the speaker not tried enough? At what point do we draw the line? At what point is the fault now that of the listener and not that of the speaker and vice versa ( ... )
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What does it mean to have a friend on the internet? From that question is a slough of thousands more - all related directly to the topic. We have had to redefine our social standards with the internet; a whole new culture was born with the advent of the world wide web.
It is a lot easier for a lot of people to "let go" on the net. They don't see any reasons why they should hold back, and they justify their lack of ethics by labeling it under honesty. Being honest means sharing an opinion. Opinions can often be granted unsolicited, and in the case of flamers, unfounded ( ... )
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In any case, your right. Communication is key no matter what kind of relationship you form or where and how you form it.
Also, I love you too, Neesan. ♥
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I was wrong, and too casual for a comm ruled by elitists.
They did they're purpose. Now I'm too scared to post on there again. I wanted to post pictures of myself all dressed up, but now I can't. I'm worried people might go "Oh, it's that girl".
Now I realize how girls go bad in that community. The elitism rubs off on you, and now I feel horrible that I've become on of the worst. I was hypocritical. I feel tainted somehow, now, like I can’t watch the effects of their arrogance that they have shared with me off.
I think- no I know- as much as I’ll hate it, and miss it, I need to stay away from the community for a while.
(As for my “Trich ( ... )
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You might feel happier when you let go of the medium.
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The second irony is the irony of you, the identity of Purple. Who knows Purple ( ... )
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I cannot say, "I love you, Purple."
But, I can say, "I love you."
The missing label isn't missing, just opted out.
Reiteration: "I love you, ___."
Thus the mask...
Thus the facet.
Thus Purple.
Thus the irony...
Quod erat demonstrandum. ^_~
I LOVE YOU!!! *glomps* You are awesome for providing this entry!!!
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