Ugh...
This is the 2nd day in a row where Ben has started screaming for food almost immediately after I leave for work. Yesterday we figured it was because he didn't really get 'full' when he nursed in the morning, as I had pumped only 30 minutes before he woke up. Today was better, I thought, because I pumped and then had a whole hour to recharge before he woke up. He nursed to his content, it seemed to me, and wasn't hungry when I changed him and Jake got him dressed. I guess 5 minutes after I left he started displaying his signs of hunger and crying and it was really hard on Jake.
Ben ended up passing out in the car on the way to daycare and was sleeping when Jake left him again, so apparently he's all right, even without food. I don't know if he was really hungry or was tired and wanted to nurse to sleep but I wasn't there or if he knew I was gone and was upset about that.
I just don't know. I'm back in the exhaustion fog that we had for the first few weeks of his life when we were barely getting any sleep. I'm pumping before he gets up in the morning and after he falls asleep at night. I didn't break even yesterday (not by a long shot, especially since he got a bottle in the morning before he left for daycare). We had to break into the freezer stash (thank goodness we have one!).
I'm going to Mama Gaia's in Howell this weekend or on Monday to get some mother's milk tea and hopefully some fenugreek to help up my supply. I'm already eating oatmeal every morning for breakfast and noticed some improvement but it's obviously not enough. I want to breastfeed him exclusively SO BADLY but I'm not sure how much more I do. Obviously I haven't exhausted all of my options, I haven't tried all the herbs yet and I'm not taking any medications (domiperidone, metoclopramide). I'm not sure how I feel about taking meds off-label, but we'll see how desperate I get. A woman in my due date community offered to milkshare with me if it gets to that point, she has extra frozen that she needs to ship out before too long.
I need more sleep. I would really like to be able to drop a pumping session, but I need to know that I've made enough for him the next day. I need to know what he needs and how to give it to him.
What Jake and the family keep telling me is that formula is always an option. Obviously I would never starve Ben in the interests of keeping him exclusively on breastmilk. If it comes to using formula, then I'll breastfeed and pump as much as I can and make up the difference with formula. I just know that breastmilk is best for him and is tailored specifically for his development and needs. I know that if I were able to stay home with him that we wouldn't have an issue.
Gah. I'm frustrated and tired and discouraged and none of that is helping me to increase my output. I need to not stress about how much I'm getting during each pumping session, wondering when my next letdown will be, wondering if I'll have enough milk today and mentally calculating how much more I need to get to break even. I can't shut my brain off.
My plan:
Drink more water
Make some more of my pregnancy tea that has alfalfa in it, because that was one of the herbs kellymom.com recommended
Get some mother's milk tea and fenugreek or blessed thistle capsules
Eat more vegetables and protein
Rest as much as I can
RELAX AND ENJOY MY BEAUTIFUL SON
That last one times 1 million.
Ben ended up passing out in the car on the way to daycare and was sleeping when Jake left him again, so apparently he's all right, even without food. I don't know if he was really hungry or was tired and wanted to nurse to sleep but I wasn't there or if he knew I was gone and was upset about that.
I just don't know. I'm back in the exhaustion fog that we had for the first few weeks of his life when we were barely getting any sleep. I'm pumping before he gets up in the morning and after he falls asleep at night. I didn't break even yesterday (not by a long shot, especially since he got a bottle in the morning before he left for daycare). We had to break into the freezer stash (thank goodness we have one!).
I'm going to Mama Gaia's in Howell this weekend or on Monday to get some mother's milk tea and hopefully some fenugreek to help up my supply. I'm already eating oatmeal every morning for breakfast and noticed some improvement but it's obviously not enough. I want to breastfeed him exclusively SO BADLY but I'm not sure how much more I do. Obviously I haven't exhausted all of my options, I haven't tried all the herbs yet and I'm not taking any medications (domiperidone, metoclopramide). I'm not sure how I feel about taking meds off-label, but we'll see how desperate I get. A woman in my due date community offered to milkshare with me if it gets to that point, she has extra frozen that she needs to ship out before too long.
I need more sleep. I would really like to be able to drop a pumping session, but I need to know that I've made enough for him the next day. I need to know what he needs and how to give it to him.
What Jake and the family keep telling me is that formula is always an option. Obviously I would never starve Ben in the interests of keeping him exclusively on breastmilk. If it comes to using formula, then I'll breastfeed and pump as much as I can and make up the difference with formula. I just know that breastmilk is best for him and is tailored specifically for his development and needs. I know that if I were able to stay home with him that we wouldn't have an issue.
Gah. I'm frustrated and tired and discouraged and none of that is helping me to increase my output. I need to not stress about how much I'm getting during each pumping session, wondering when my next letdown will be, wondering if I'll have enough milk today and mentally calculating how much more I need to get to break even. I can't shut my brain off.
My plan:
Drink more water
Make some more of my pregnancy tea that has alfalfa in it, because that was one of the herbs kellymom.com recommended
Get some mother's milk tea and fenugreek or blessed thistle capsules
Eat more vegetables and protein
Rest as much as I can
RELAX AND ENJOY MY BEAUTIFUL SON
That last one times 1 million.