christmas was good, albeit totally exhausting. all i want to do is go to sleep and stay that way until tomorrow, but alas, the apartment needs cleaning and i still have to put up the rest of my gifts (i got more gifts than i think i have ever gotten in my whole life, by the way. turns out that having a boyfriend is a great investment for xmas. ( Read more... )

one day i will write something happy in this journal.

today is not that day.

oh, and happy halloween. it's a very un-halloweenish halloween.

i am losing my fucking mind.

everything is different now ( Read more... )

"but you should never be embarassed by your trouble with living
'cause it's the ones with the sorest throats, laura,
who have done the most singing."

taken from an email ( Read more... )

i am so stoked that the lyrics have finally been posted for ftm. it was driving me crazy trying to decipher what and all cedric was saying. turns out i was only right about half of the lyrics i thought i had figured out, but that's how it goes with these guys. in any case, the lyrics are intense and insane and brilliant as always. i know that ( Read more... )

they always say that anything that seems to be too good to be true is. so, really, where is the catch? and it's not as if i've even done anything to deserve this. all i've done is scoff and play the cynic, swearing off relationships and making my reservations for being the lonely old woman who lives in the spooky house at the top of the hill ( Read more... )

so should i say something or continue to let silence tell the tale? things have been...good. and i do hesitate to say that. the pessimist and the cynic have replaced both the angel and the devil on my shoulders and they whisper to me incessantly, "it won't last, it won't last, it won't last ( Read more... )

if i could compel the words to come out of me, they'd be suicide-splattered all over this screen.

a gun to the mouth to blow the words out. then thick air. release.