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[psychopomp_girl]

I composed a lengthy and (i'll admit it) depressing entry, all in my head of course, at work today. The reason being that I am depressed. I had a miniature anxiety attack in the PetSmart parking lot while I was visiting Bellingham this weekend. Every tiny, insignificant thing was making me teary-eyed. I felt mildly embarrassed, which also made

Comments

[jammin682]

ya know, its funny. You tell me all the time to call you, or text, but never do I hear a call or text from you. not a peep unless I get ahold of you first.

this may sound like blindsided guilt tripping, but I think that by reminding you that the phone works both ways may be you'll think to call your friend, who usually feels almost as alienated as you do, and who loves to listen to you talk when you're unhappy. (or snuggle....mostly snuggle)

jm

[psychopomp_girl]

I will point out that I did spend a good chunk of time texting you, without reply for a couple of weeks recently.

Let's face it, we're both notoriously bad at contacting other people, but notoriously good at feeling alienated and alone.

[jammin682]

that's an interesting cycle there. We get calls and texts we do not respond to, then feel alienated when people stop trying to get ahold of us.

I DO partially blame my shitty phone which is notorious for not giving me texts or taking calls. Lazy bastard.

jm

[tresdon]

everything has a purpose and the only thing we can hope is that we learn from our falls in life. You are a warm sassy soul that we all know and love. We want good things for yah.

Mr Efficiency says its in your future.

[hastapeanut]

I was happy to see you while you were here, and really glad to finally meet Sam. Had I had a voice and some energy, I would have insisted on getting a beer! I would like to make some time to come visit you in Seattle after the Holidays. Bank on it?

Also, I feel alienated sometimes too, and I still live here! I love the people I interact with, but I have to say that your feeings of alienation may have more to do with our group of social networking here, and less to do with the place. Our social circle can be fickle at times, and notoriously self absorbed. (Yours truly is no exception to this rule.) I am just now really noticing how much the mood of the group influences my feelings of self worth or inclusion.

You are not alone, and Bellingham loves you just fine.

[psychopomp_girl]

I was happy to see you, too! Also, I was glad that you got to meet my boy, even if he is painfully quiet most of the time. :)

I would absolutely love to have you come visit me down here in the Seattle-place. I shall consider it a plan. A plan to make plans, if you will. *laugh*

We need to base our feelings of self-worth on how far we've managed to make it so far, instead of the fickle feelings of our strange (albeit brilliant) circle of social-ness.

*hug*

i know the feeling all to well + ikea thursday??

[celticzenoracle]

i know that alienation feeling to well. bham is a lovely place and it is one of the reasons i so enjoy escaping gig harbor and visiting up there. Along with the fact i seem to have more real friends up there than down here. Right now i've been going through the full range of emotions...i too have been fighting many battles of the dulldrums. especially being totally broke. i've been relying on the kindnesses of my friends and heavily on my mother. incurring debts i try not to think to hard about otherwise i'll dive deeper into depressions. although i still know my debts are still there and how they are continually knawing and scraping at my energies. the knowledge that i'm not alone and otheres are having similar issues, help sorta. Although it still saddens me that you are going though this, and I can't help more other than on here. I will be up at ikea thursday with my friend to look at and maybe get some apartment furniture for her new place. So if you're availible to come over to see me there it would be awesome. Call me on my cell

Re: i know the feeling all to well + ikea thursday??

[psychopomp_girl]

Sorry I didn't get back to you until today, but I've been sick and tired for the last few days. Bleh. First I was depressed, then I got a cold. Ce la vie, right?

If you end up in the south Seattle area any time soon, though, you need to visit. I have weekends off, and I work late afternoon/evening hours during the week.

*grin*