Diary of an Introvert in Vegas
Since I have a lot to say about my trip, I figured it would make more sense to post a day-by-day recount of the most memorable things that happened on, before and after my trip. Yeah, I know, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", but in my opinion that rule only applies if you got crazy and did stuff you don't want people to know about. Not only did I have Mom and Grandma with me, but I'm not that wild to begin with. However, I hope you'll find my comments about my trip amusing anyway lol. Here ya go:
Monday November 5, 2012
Ugh, I feel like shit:/ Saturday I came down with the mother of all colds, and today it's really kicking my ass. But by some miracle, I managed to finish packing and flew to Vegas with Mom and Grandma with no problems...well, except for the dumbass who sat in front of me on the plane, who decided to stretch his arms behind his head while inadverantly sticking his hands in my face. Thanks a lot, douchebag.
So it took us friggin' 2 hours to get to the hotel bc the shuttle we were on had to make a gazillion other stops on the way. Then we finally got to Paris (the hotel, not the French city). This is by far the most beautiful hotel I've ever been in! Well, ok, the casino on the ground floor isn't exactly my idea of pretty, but the rest of the hotel is decorated with breathtaking fake buildings, fake cobblestone walkways, and a cute little European-style restaurant called Le Cafe. We had a really good dinner there, but like I said, I'm sick...like really, really sick. Mom and Grandma asked me if I wanted to go sightseeing, but thanks to this damn cold, all I wanted to do was lay down and die:P So I stayed in our luxurious 28th floor room and attempted to sleep while Mom and Grandma went downstairs and gambled.
Mom was nice enough to come and check up on me, and brought me orange juice and chicken soup from Le Cafe. So I ate, and laid back down again and fell asleep amidst a pile of snot rags and cough drop wrappers. The one good thing about being sick on vacation? Nobody wanted to share a bed with me bc I'm contagious, lol.
Tuesday November 6, 2012
Still sick. Still feeling like I've been hit by a truck. Still wanting nothing more than to stay in bed. But since I don't want to ruin Mom and Grandma's fun, I drag my ass out of bed and we go for an extremely long sightseeing excursion. On foot. In the blistering heat. Attempting to cross road after road with cars whizzing by like they're pruposely trying to hit us. I can almost hear them now: "Hey look at those two women and that little old lady? I wonder how many points they are?" Have you ever tried to walk 50 miles on an extremely hot day with very few breaks in between? Now imagine doing that when you're sick. Not fun. But for being a good sport, Mom and Grandma took me over to Madam Tassaud's Wax Museum, which was really the only thing I cared about seeing in Vegas. It was very cool, and for the short amount of time we spent there, I forgot about how miserable I was and just had a good time. It was so cool - I mean, how many other chances will I have to get my picture taken with Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio?
After the wax museum, we ventured out again into the unbearable heat. I could've sworn my ex mother-in-law walked right past us; it looked just like her! If that was her, luckily she didn't act like she recognized me. So anyway, after walking for what seemed like an eternity, we finally made it back to Paris (it didn't occur to us til later that we could've taken cabs instead of walking...duh). We were talking about where to eat dinner, and eventually decided to try the incredibly fancy (and ridiculously expensive) Eiffel Tower Restaurant. The restaurant is actually located inside the Eiffel Tower replica that is part of the Paris hotel. You have to take an elevator to get there, and it's very posh and elegant with dim lighting and a gorgeous view of Las Vegas. It struck me as the kind of restaurant a man might take you if he wanted to propose to you. Yeah, and it was really classy when I sat there coughing up a lung and blowing my nose every two seconds. Now that's classy:P
I don't think any of us really enjoyed the food. Mom ordered a $65 filet mignon that was about as big around as my fist, and it was served in the middle of a big plate with no side dishes or anything. It was a joke. After the meal, my grandmother - who's the sweetest person I know - politely told our waiter that that was the worst meal she'd ever had. Mom and I had a helluva time trying not to burst into fits of laughter; it's totally uncharacteristic for her to say something like that. The waiter took the price of her food off our check, then returned to our table with a pathetically small tray (about 5" X 7" in size) with rows of desserts that were "compliments of the chef"...or so he said. These so-called "desserts" looked more like crumbs than actual desserts. I pointed at these small flat things that were about the size of a quarter and said, "What are those?"
The waiter - with a very serious face - said, "Those are coffee cakes."
Coffee cakes? Really? They looked more like crumbs that had fallen off of a coffee cake, then somebody stepped on them and flattened them out. Yum. There were also these tiny cubes of dark chocolate that were the size of chocolate chips. When the waiter very seriously said we could have as many "desserts" as we wanted, I was tempted to snatch the toy-sized tray out of his hands and dump the whole damn thing in my purse.
We were supposed to see a drag queen show later tonight, but I still felt like shit, so I stayed in bed while Mom and Grandma went back down to the casino. After some tossing and turning, I eventually figured out that if I slept sitting up I could actually sleep without too much coughing. I sure do know how to party:P
Wednesday November 7, 2012
I still don't feel too hot today, but I'm considerably better than the last several days. I actually managed to get through the day without a nap, and without too many coughing fits. Mom and Grandma encouraged me to do a little gambling. I did very briefly, but after losing $40 I quit. Hey, I'm not willing to gamble away the money I need for bills, food or gas. I'm way too practical for that. But Mom and Grandma were having a field day and not really worrying about it.
We went to Harrah's for a dinner buffet and a live show. The buffet wasn't great, but their steamed crab legs rocked. Anywho, after dinner we went upstairs in Harrah's for their Legends show. It's not a drag show, just male and female performers impersonating famous musical artists, living and dead. Yep, before the show we got our picture taken with Whitney Houston! Well, ok, it was actually just a Whitney impersonator, but it was still cool to meet her. The show was really good! There was Whitney (of course), Michael Jackson, Barry White, Justin Timberlake, Adele and Elvis. They all looked and sounded a lot like the originals. I was esp amazed at the Michael Jackson impersonator; he danced just like Michael!
For those of you who don't understand the inner workings of my mind, I'm an introvert. This means I prefer the quiet and can only take so much of crowded areas and loud noises before it gets to be too much. The busy casino, the busy buffet and the busy (and LOUD) show were more than enough excitement for me, and after the show all I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and get away from it all. Plus I was still sick, which made me even more agitated. So Mom and Grandma wanted to go to the strip to see the light show. I tried to be a good sport about it, but the combination of lights, crowds and excessive noise was like sensory overload for me. I felt very uncomfortable, but still I walked around with them, watched the lights and hung around in this seedy little casino while Grandma played the slots. Boy was I glad to get back to the hotel tonight!
Thursday November 8, 2012
We got up super-early, packed our bags, ate one final meal at Le Cafe, then took a cab to the airport. I breathed a sigh of relief as our vacation drew to a close. I'd been looking forward to this trip for weeks now, but let's face it, Vegas isn't for everybody. I don't like to gamble, I'm not a big drinker, I hate crowds and loud noises... Even if I wasn't sick, I don't think I would've truly enjoyed it. I have no intentions of ever going back, lol.
Oh but the 4-hour flight home was fun *note the sarcasm*. The old man sitting in front of me adjusted his chair so that his head was practically in my lap, which made it impossible for me to sit comfortably or use the tray that was attached to the back of his seat. I bet that douche had a migraine by the end of the flight bc I was glaring daggers at the back of his balding head all the way back to Detroit. Mom wasn't too happy either bc the guy's wife - who sat in front of her - also adjusted her seat so that she was practically in Mom's lap. We were both annoyed to say the least, but Mom was cracking me and Grandma up by purposely doing things to irritate the inconsiderate couple. She made a point of rattling the cellophane wrappers our muffins came in as loudly as she could, "accidentally" shook their seats while trying to condense our garbage and pretending to check for maps in the back of both seats. At one point, she leaned over to me and said, "I wish I knew how to snap gum!" We had a good bit of childish fun, that made the trip (and Baldy's head mere inches from my face) a little more bearable.
And there ya go, the first real vacation I've had in a LONG time. There were some good (and not so good) points, and I did manage to have some fun despite being sick the whole damn time. Maybe next time I plan a trip, my body will have the decency to at least wait til after the trip to get sick?