Hating people.
Allow me to preface by saying that I am in a dark mood. A mood where I don't particularly care what people think and therefore may come off as pissy or rude. As above, I don't care. I'm angry.
I'm angry at people for filling conversations with meaningless slights and fashionable insults.
I'm angry at my friends here at school for prioritizing potentially harmful practices as accomplishments and stories.
I'm angry at my friends at home for not keeping in touch.
I'm angry at the institution that convinces me to work for something I don't even want.
I'm angry for myself for not being able to overcome the anger above. So, I guess I'm currently pushing people away so that they're not recipients of something I might later regret.
I'm angry at myself for being alone. I'm not happy, and I'm really not sure there's anything I can do that will make me happy. It seems the only thing that might help is confiding in others in some way, but that would involve dragging them down. And since I've already established I value the lives of others over my own...
I can't share this stuff. I can't solve it on my own. I can't kill myself, since that would cause more general sorrow then just existing alone with mine.
I'm lying in bed, hoping for a miracle.