7,,,what hurts..thanks friends
what hurts is when you think somebody cares, and you think you can trust them never to make you sad, and they do. And the worse part about it is they don't really comprehend that they are hurting you. Like having someone slowly push a knife into your chest and then slowly rotating it inside of you, slow and constant increasing pain....
It also hurts when about someone so much your heart feels like it might explode, and knowing that they don't give to shits about you...it's easy to pretend and ignore it, think they care and love you but really its all just a big lie and you can't let go of the hope that maybe someday they will care about you.....but in reality...it's not going to happen... It's not fun to feel unloved and go to sleep at night, but that sums up all my past relationships.....and discourages me to even bother to try again...
Having friends who really are not friends, who pretend, and are unable to see beyond their own selfish perspective. Egotistical people who don't care.. Im over it, which is easy to say, but really Its Killing me.....
I am over feeling like I am giving a piece of myself to each person who means something to me...slowly but surely I'm loosing grip on myself.. Its getting harder for me to hold it together anymore, and to pretend to be happy and smile and just go along with it anymore, I want to cry, I don't feel like I'm meeting anyone genuine or worth my time, everyone hurts me, and it is so frusturating, I suppose that I'm let down easily..haha it would be better for me to live the life of a hermit, or out in the mountains by myself so that there is no possibility for me to be hurt by stupid fuckers because they won't be around....
Sometimes It seems like life isnt worth the hassle..its easy to want to give up and say fuck everyone else, and just be selfish, but at the same time we got to make it through lifes challeges to live and grow as a person...but I'm tired, and don't want to go on...because there is no promise of a glorious finale or the grand prize....just the hope...and frankly at this point that isnt enough for me.