Symmetry 6: Wrap the Night Around Me

[princess72385]

Title: Symmetry 6: Wrap the Night Around Me
Author:princess72385
Pairings/Characters: Veronica/OC, Logan/OC, Duncan/OC, Mac/Dick, Logan/Veronica (mentions of: Keith/Alicia, Wallace/OC, Piz/OC, Parker/OC)
Word Count: 10,920 (10,856 without lyrics)
Rating: NC-17 (Sex, language and a little bit of abuse/violence)
Summary: There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.
Spoilers/Warnings: Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)
Future Fic
Disclaimer: None of it’s mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don’t sue, because I have nothing and it’d be a waste of both our time. The Song is So Are You To Me by EastMoutainSouth



Chapter 1: Everything Has It's Beginning... And It's End
Chapter 2: Leave My Heart Behind
Chapter 3a: When It's All Unraveling
Chapter 3b:When It's All Unraveling
Chapter 4a:The Lines That Cross
Chapter 4b: The Lines That Cross
Chapter 4.5:Almost Had It
Chapter 5: Everything You're Running From
Chapter 5.5: Steal the Night

A/N: This was supposed to be up quite a while ago, but with my birthday and the release of Harry Potter (first the movie, then the book) and my sister-in-law and niece visiting along with the onslaught of various family members dropping in it kind of got delayed. Sorry.

Symmetry
6
Wrap the Night Around Me

As the music at the banquet
As the wine before the meal

She sat up again that night, fourth night in a row. This had been going on since the wedding two months ago. Freaking insomnia and Logan Echolls was at the root of it again. Like she hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks after he shattered her heart the first time. He’d done it again. Broken her and left without picking up the pieces.

He’d walked out on her, and when she’d back downstairs she found out that he left the wedding completely. Getting away from her.

Running.

He was running, using her habit against her. Showing her what it felt like, and probably not intending to. She thought it might be his turn to run this time, his turn to leave her. But that wasn’t the case when she thought about it. Logan had left her at the end of Senior year. Walked out, beat up Duncan and shut her out. She’d stayed there the night he broke her heart, praying he’d say he made a mistake. That he wanted to be with her. And the next morning he’d broken up with her, tore up the life she’d planned for them and let her walk away.

It was her turn to leave, to run.

That didn’t matter, because there would be no more running from each other. There was no more being together to run from. He had chosen Nicole and she’d chosen Max. He waited for her, but he’d never done anything about it. Logan had always run after Veronica Mars, even when she seemed too far ahead to catch. He’d opted for the easily conquered in the end, taking the girl that was more than happy to be a trophy wife. Madison Sinclair part two, or maybe more than that. Caitlyn had been like that for him, so had Kendall and she was sure Hannah had no problem with being his arm candy.

After all that waiting, he just left her standing in a hotel room with words left unsaid and tears in her eyes. Veronica still felt like she was waiting for him though. Like even though he didn’t know she waited for him, he’d assume and rescue her.

Veronica looked at Max lying next to her. They’d had sex about twenty minutes ago. Scratch that, he’d had sex, she’d been used as something to get him off. He’d come, rolled off her and instantly gone to sleep muttering about her “amazing talent to relax him after a bad day”.

It just proved, in glaring reality, that he didn’t really care. Sure he said he loved her, and maybe he did, but he didn’t care anymore.

~ * ~

She was making dinner for herself when Mac called. Three weeks until the scheduled trip to the Justice of the Peace’s office that she and Max had decided on. Really they could have done it at any time, but that’s when they’d have another month off for their short trip to Neptune and honeymoon in Hawaii. Veronica had wanted Europe, but it had taken two weeks just to talk Max into Hawaii. Originally he’d wanted to visit Neptune then drive up to Napa for the remainder of their vacation. She’d actually forced herself to cry to get him to agree to somewhere else. There was no way she’d be staying in a place where she and Logan had stayed in bed for four days.

“So I was talking to Wallace, and he said that Max and you are going to get a civil ceremony with just the two of you there. At the Justice of the Peace. In Boston. What the hell Veronica?” Mac was upset, it was obvious by the fact that she hadn’t even said ‘hi’.

“Well, Max doesn’t want a ceremony and an audience. He says it’s a contract either way and he’d rather do it private.” Veronica hated the answer, but it was the truth and she refused to lie to anyone about it.

“What about what you want?”

“If you recall getting married never really was in my plans.”

“It was when you and Logan were together. You had it all planned out, granted you never gave me any details other than the fact that Wallace was refusing to be Maid of Honor. But you once said that Logan would be a good dad, and that you’d live in that beach house forever if you could.” Mac’s voice was soft, almost like she was afraid to remind Veronica of that time.

“Logan will be a good dad, just to someone else’s babies. And it was just a stupid fantasy with Logan, something I thought about.” Veronica was holding back tears now, afraid that maybe Mac could tell over the phone and on the other side of the country.

“Dick and I always figured you’d eventually find your way back to each other. We all did. Wallace said that even Keith was a little shocked when you got engaged to Max. Then I thought for sure that we’d be rid of Nicole for good when the two of you disappeared from the reception.” Mac’s voice wasn’t soft anymore, she started to sound a little angry.

“Well, Logan broke up with me in college and then he walked out on me at the wedding. And nothing happened by the way. When we left. We fought and he walked out.” Veronica left out the part where they’d been on the bed, about to have sex. And they didn’t exactly fight, but he said his final goodbye. Mac already sounded so disappointed, she didn’t want to disappoint her further. They’d been so close and it had been Veronica to let it slip away.

“He’s been miserable ever since college. And even more so since the wedding, asks about you a lot. Dick’s getting a little annoyed with it actually, gave him your number last week. Logan kept saying he didn’t want it, but I saw him program it into his phone when he thought nobody was looking. You know you’ll be married in three weeks, he’ll be married in five. Made sure to set the date after you were married, just in case.” Mac’s voice was pleading, begging her to pick Logan.

“Why are you so adamant about me and Logan being together? Since when are you the little matchmaker that pushes your friends together?” Veronica was annoyed now, Mac was saying everything she wanted to hear. Except for one thing. “It’s not like Logan actually wants me to come back now. He said his piece in that hotel room, said goodbye for the last time.”

“Veronica. Logan has always wanted you back, you didn’t see him when he came back to the reception. He was pale, looked like he was going to cry. Dick said that when they spoke he could barely keep from crying, kept taking deep breaths. Said he just made a big mistake, the same one he’d been making for years. Of course Dick didn’t understand what that meant, but he couldn’t have a crying dude at his wedding so he told Logan to go home and chill out.” Mac’s voice was firm, and made something ache inside Veronica.

“Mac I have to go, I have… I just have to go.” Veronica stuttered off the goodbye before hanging up. She let the tears fall, they came in torrents, pouring down her cheeks. She swept her dinner into the trash, she couldn’t eat now.

Two and half hours until Max would get home. If she hurried she could be gone by then and just leave a note. It was Thursday afternoon, she had tomorrow and the weekend off. She could get to the airport and buy the cheapest flight that got her to Neptune, she didn’t care how many layovers.

She was throwing clothes into a small suitcase. Three days worth of clothes and make up. Before zipping the case she grabbed her red sundress from the back of the closet and a pair of heels to match. She’d wear something that he wouldn’t be able to resist, he’d hear her out. Running out the door she grabbed her purse and cell phone.

This time, Veronica Mars was going to run after Logan Echolls. This was going to be her grand gesture.

As the firelight in the night
So are you to me

He’d been waiting for her for the last four years, and now he was resigned to be without her for the rest of his life.

He’d broken up with her Senior year of college and regretted it ever since. Every time Duncan told him how happy she was or Mac mentioned Max. Dick and Wallace had known not to bring her up. Wallace said that it was because he didn’t have a right to know, not when he’d broken her heart. Logan was grateful and didn’t think it necessary to tell him that telling him would be a better form of torture. Wallace had never fully forgiven him and Logan didn’t want to give that weapon.

Logan couldn’t remember exactly when Veronica’s friends became his friends. But even after they she was gone they’d stuck around. He’d been the one to try and talk Piz out of marrying Ashley. He’d done it anyway, and now whenever they played poker he bitched about how he should have listened. It seemed that their weekly poker games were the stuff of old clichés. Men whining about the women in their lives. Dick hadn’t started complaining Mac again, the marriage was too new, but soon he’d go back to the way it was before. Wallace grumbled about how Cassie’s psychotic need to keep everything clean and enroll little Sammy in every kind of ‘character building’ class possible. Duncan would probably never complain about Lindsay, but once or twice he bitched about how Veronica would call and yell at him for something.

Duncan and he had made up a year after Logan let Veronica go. He’d returned from Europe and gone to the beach house, still next door to Duncan’s own house. Lilly had seen him going into the house and begged her dad to go visit. Duncan had knocked and walked in without waiting for an answer. He found Logan already drunk and holding a shirt Veronica had left behind. Her shrimp shirt, the one he bought her after she repeatedly told him she was short, she was petite.

Duncan picked him up and forced himself to look in the figurative mirror. Said that Veronica was beyond the both of them, that she was never really meant for them. Logan closed down the house a week later, unable to stay in their house and unwilling to sell it. He bought a condo and set it up to be the ultimate bachelor pad, and settled in for a lifetime of loneliness. After that Duncan had come by to play video games on a bi-weekly basis, his argument one of the past. “She left you behind, and she left me behind. Wanna be left behind together?” Even though it was weird and corny Logan agreed and got his best friend back.

Now Duncan didn’t talk to Veronica anymore, said that she hadn’t called in a while. Logan would bet that she hadn’t called since his wedding. Something had happened, they’d fought, and now they weren’t speaking. After four years of talking at least once a week, after twenty years of knowing each other, they’d cut off their ties to each other. If only temporarily it proved a problem for Logan. Where would he get his information?

~ * ~

Dick was getting pissed off, and Logan could only pretend he didn’t know why. Being asked about the ins and outs of one Veronica Mars was only glamorous for so long.

Mac had invited Logan over for dinner while Nicole was visiting her parents, who he had yet to meet. They’d been between drinks and salad when he asked about Veronica’s wedding plans. Mac said she didn’t know anything other than the fact that it was three weeks away and she’d have to call Wallace for more details. Dick groaned and left the table, only to come back with a scrap of paper. Veronica’s number.

“Here man, here’s her number. Call her up and ask her all this stuff. I don’t know if she really loves Max. I don’t know if she’s really going to go through with it. I don’t know what kind of wedding she’s having or where she’s doing it at. I don’t know and I don’t give a fuck, it’ll end eventually. So here, call her up now and end it before you both have to go through divorces.” Dick said as he shoved the paper in Logan’s face.

“I don’t want her number, I never asked for it.” Logan pushed Dick’s hand, and the paper, away.

“I know you never asked. You also thought that your questions were subtle and I was too oblivious to know what you were doing.” Dick shoved the paper back at him, holding his hand out with a stern look on his face. When did Dick become all adult and perceptive?

“What the fuck ever man, she’s an old friend that I don’t talk to. I was just curious.” Logan took the paper and threw it on the table, making sure he knew exactly where it landed. He’d thought about asking for her number so many times over the years, but never did it. Now all he had to do was distract the two of them long enough to steal the paper back and program it into his cell, then he’d return the paper to where it was and no one would know.

“She’s not just an old fucking friend Logan, and you know that. And you don’t talk to her because you screwed that up. Don’t make excuses to make yourself feel better, you know when you’re lying and it won’t work.” Dick sat down and resumed his drink as he served himself salad. Mac looked like she was going to start laughing. She got up to get the main dish and after a couple minutes Dick went to help her.

Logan snatched up the paper and pulled out his cell phone. Programming it as fast as he could. He slipped the phone back in his pocket and had the paper back to it’s original place moments before Mac returned. He looked innocent and knew she had seen.

~ * ~

Nicole was crying. Logan had called out Veronica’s name in his sleep again. He’d been dreaming about her non-stop since the incident at Dick’s wedding. It was probably the third time he’d called out her name and Nicole had finally had enough.

“Why can’t you just let her go? After all, she hasn’t even spoken to you in the last four years.” Nicole sobbed out, tears falling down her face and she reached for a tissue to catch them. “I’m the one who’s with you, I’m the one who loves you. What do I have to do?”

That stopped Logan in his tracks, he’d once said nearly the same thing to Veronica. Asked her what he’d have to do to make her trust him. Why she couldn’t let Duncan go. Why he wasn’t enough. Now he was doing it Nicole and he had a little insight to what Veronica felt then.

Horrible and guilty beyond compare. He’d basically trapped Nicole in their twisted story and now she was paying the price of being broken. He always broke what he loved, even if he didn’t love Nicole.

“I’m trying Nicky. Really I let her go a long time ago, it’s just that I saw her at the wedding and-”

“The wedding was almost four months ago. You see her four months ago and you still can’t get over it?” Nicole interrupted, her eyes narrowing and her jaw clenching.

“She was Mac’s maid of honor, and you weren’t there and I didn’t see a reason to upset you so I didn’t say anything.” Logan tried to reason, Nicole wouldn’t accept this. She’d see past the lie.

“You must have known that she would be the maid of honor a while before the wedding. And still you failed to mention it. You knew how uncomfortable I was with her being around and you let me leave you alone with her.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to upset you and you wanted to go get a dress.”

“Did you fuck her?” Nicole was standing, her tiny fists clenched at her sides.

“No.”

“You wanted to.”

“Yes.”

“You’re an asshole Logan. And you lose everything because you’re not enough to keep it.” His head shot up at this and he narrowed his own eyes in pain, but she continued on. “I’ll forgive you for this, but if you ever see her again…” she let the threat trail off.

“I won’t, she’s getting married in three weeks and we’ll be married in five. It’s over, everything with her is over. We finally got our closure and I’m committed to you now.” Logan prayed she couldn’t hear his voice hitch over the lie. But she seemed placated and went to get back in bed.

Logan decided it was finally time to get over his silly fantasies. Veronica was never coming back to him. She was never coming back and he had to get that through his thick skull. They were over and he had Nicole.

Nicole was his fresh start and he was going to start treating her better.

As the ruby in the setting
As the fruit upon the tree

Veronica stepped off the plane at two in the morning California time, for her it was six. No one knew she was coming so she hailed a cab and thanked everything under the sun that there was one readily available. She threw her suitcase in the backseat with her and told the driver to take her to the Neptune Grand.

Once at the Grand she collapsed onto the king bed of her standard room. 212. She’d asked for a room with a twelve in it, for luck. She considered calling her dad or Wallace, but it was three thirty and the would all kill her. Especially Wallace since Sammy would probably get woken up and Cassie was pregnant and he had to work in the morning.

She woke the next morning at eleven and cursed the fact that she’d slept in. She called down to the front desk to order breakfast and a rental car. The breakfast would be there in twenty minutes, the car in thirty. Just enough time to shower and be out in time for her room service and then she could eat and get ready. With any luck she’d be out of the room by twelve thirty.

~ * ~

The clock hit one and Veronica realized she was without a plan. The only thing she knew was where he lived, the only information she’d allowed herself to look at before closing the window. She had everything on him in a file on her laptop and had resisted looking at it until last week. She needed a little backup and a little support. There was really only one person to call.

“Mac? It’s me, I’m in town and at the Grand.”

“I figured you’d be coming back soon, after yesterday. I just didn’t think it would be right away. Do you need me to pick you up? Does anyone else know you’re here?” Veronica could hear the jingle of Mac’s keys in the background and knew she was already walking out the door.

“I have a rental and nobody knows I’m here except for you. I told Max I’d be back on Monday, left him a note. And I have no plan. I just left Boston and got on a plane and all I thought about was what I was going to say to him. I have no idea how I’m going to get him alone or even how I’m going to see him in the first place.” Veronica was starting to panic now, she’d never not had a plan before. Never gone into something so completely unprepared.

“What room you in?”

“212.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

~ * ~

Mac showed up with a plan. And Dick was there fifteen minutes later.

“So I just call Logan and tell him I screwed up? That I fucked some chick in 212 and don’t know what to do?” Dick was looking between Mac and Veronica like they were crazy. And it was quite possible that they were. He’d never been able to lie to Logan before, not really. Logan always knew when he was lying. Always.

“That’s the plan Dick. It’s only two though, so maybe we should wait a while.” Mac said looking at her watch, her stomach grumbled. “Maybe get a late lunch?”

“I can always eat.” Veronica and Dick said it at the same time. Dick giggled a little and Veronica rolled her eyes.

She did not just do that with Dick Casablancas.

~ * ~

It was six when Logan picked up his cell phone, the number for the Neptune Grand showing on the caller id.

“Logan?” Dick sounded frantic, and Logan couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing at the hotel.

“What’s wrong Dick? Why are you at the Grand?” Logan flipped his SUV around and headed towards the place he’d once lived but never called home.

“I did something stupid man. I’ve really screwed up this time and I don’t know what to do. I need help, you have to come man.” Dick sounded a little less frantic but stressed none the less. Something was wrong.

“What did you do that involves you being at a hotel?” Logan asked the question hesitantly, scared of what Dick’s response would be.

“I fucked someone else. I’ve cheated on Mac and now my life is over. You have to get here man. Room 212. I’ll call down and have them give you a key at the desk.” Dick rushed the rest out and hung up.

Dick hung up on him. Now Logan knew something was up.

~ * ~

Mac and Veronica stared at Dick. Mac put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. Veronica merely crossed her arms in front of her and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Dick asked, his hand still resting on the phone he’d just slammed down.

“My life is over?” Mac said in amusement. “While your life would be over if you cheated, that was a little dramatic don’t you think?”

“Yeah Dick, I always thought Logan was the more dramatic out of all the guys in our twisted little group, but I think you just proved me wrong.” Veronica was barely containing her giggles over Dick’s show. “Would you like to add an overdone sigh and fake a faint while you’re at it?”

“If you recall I just did you a major favor, now is not the time to screw with me, Mars. I can call Logan back right now and tell him the truth. Or I can tell him that I did peyote and hallucinated that I was with someone else when it was my computer geek wife all along.” Dick threatened.

“No, you really can’t. Because if you do, your computer geek wife will kick your surfer ass.” Mac said, starting to head for the door. She and Dick had to leave now or Logan would actually find his best friend in a hotel room with a blonde and his wife.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s get going before Logan gets here and actually catches me in the lie. I’ll never hear the end of this you know. Matchmaking.” Dick was opening the door for Mac, giving her ass and appreciative tilt of his head before continuing. “That’s supposed to be women’s work.”

“Get out of here you two, before all my plans are ruined.” Veronica turned to the phone before Mac had a chance to say something. “I’m calling the front desk now, one key for 212 to be held for Logan Echolls, who should be arriving shortly.”

It was all in place, now she just had to pray he didn’t turn and run away when he saw her this time.

~ * ~

Logan walked up to the front desk, his palms were sweaty and he couldn’t be more nervous. Dick couldn’t be cheating already. Logan had honestly thought that Dick would be faithful to Mac for the rest of their lives. The were all the children of single parent families, children of divorce and blended families. All of them. Except for Duncan, who’s parents had been on the fine edge of divorce and estrangement since the year Lilly was born and Mr. Kane started sleeping with Mrs. Mars.

“Logan Echolls, there’s a key for 212 waiting for me.” Logan leaned against the counter, expecting it to take longer than the two-point-five seconds it did.

“Here you are Mr. Echolls. Have a nice day.” The woman at the counter said, sliding the key across the marble counter before going back to her rousing game of solitaire. He missed the old people, the ones that knew him and always stopped to chat.

Not that he could chat right now, not when his retarded best friend was upstairs fucking up his life in one way or the other.

The ride up the elevator would be pointless, it was easier to take the stairs. No waiting and he’d probably get there faster anyway.

He pushed through the door and jogged up the steps, taking them two at a time. Quickly he moved down the hallway, a nervous feeling coming over him. Like spiders running across the inside of his chest. As he lifted the key to slide it into the lock the feeling grew more intense.

As the wind blows over the plains
So are you to me

She was in the bathroom checking her make up for the fifteenth time when she heard the beep of the lock opening, the swoosh of the door following it closely. Deep breaths, is she took deep breaths she’d be ready for this. One last glance in the mirror to see if her hair was holding up. She’d done it in loose curls, flowing down her shoulders. He liked it like that. She’d briefly considered getting a pair of scissors chopping it off, making short layers, recreating the style she had when they’d first gotten together. He liked her hair like this, but he’d loved that hair cut.

“Dick?” Logan called out, and she could hear the tension in his voice. He was nervous, probably because being here meant he’d eventually have to lie to another one of his best friends.

One last deep breath and another obsessive glance at the mirror and she opened the bathroom door and stepped out.

“Please tell me that when Dick said he fucked someone else he didn’t mean you. Please.” Logan’s eyes closed the second he saw her, and he stepped backwards toward the door.

“Oh God no. This was Mac’s idea, by the way. Use Dick and his penchant for stupidity to get you here. I was too nervous to come up with anything else so I went with it.” She took another deep breath, she hadn’t meant to tell him she was nervous. “Dick kept insisting that you always knew when he was lying. I always thought that Dick could be a pretty good liar, not with me but with everyone else. Watching him lie to you though, it was like watching a little kid try to lie to a parent.”

“He did get pretty dramatic, with the ‘my life is over’ thing. I knew he was holding something back, but then he hung up on me and I thought that something might really be up.” Logan had opened his eyes and seemed to have relaxed a little. “What are you doing here? Where is Dick?”

“Dick is with Mac, on their way home because Mac wants to watch this documentary tonight and Dick didn’t think they set the TiVo.” Veronica took a tentative step towards him, she’d never seen him this skittish before. Suddenly she felt like their roles were reversed and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you laughing about Mars? Finally go insane?” Logan was looking at her with squinted eyes, his forehead wrinkled in concern.

“No, not insane, just… it’s funny don’t you think. Here we are and I’ve manipulated you into this situation where we’re together and you have no choice but to listen. And you’re standing there, by the door, ready to flee. You look how I must have looked all those times and I just feel… I feel like we’ve had this major role reversal.”

“I never manipulated you into situations.” He was indignant now, wouldn’t stand for his past attempts at getting her back to remembered any different from what they were.

“No, you just took advantage of every opportunity.” She amended.

“I shouldn’t be here. I promised Nicole that I’d never see you again, that all this was over.” Logan turned to leave, his hand on the handle before she finally spoke again.

“Is that really what you want? Don’t even want to hear what I have to say?” She was taking steps towards him, only a foot behind him before she even realized she was moving. The panic bloomed in her chest and she was afraid for a moment that he was really going to leave. That he was really going to chose Nicole and not give her a chance to put up a fair fight. But then he dropped his hands and turned to her again.

“You have a ten minutes to say whatever you want to say. Then I’m leaving and going back to my fiancée, and we don’t do this again.” Logan walked past her, taking deep breath as he made his way to the lounging chair in the corner of the room. He could do this, hear what she had to say then walk away. He knew when he decided that he was going to commit fully to Nicky that something would come along to test him. But he didn’t think it was going to be two days later.

“Okay, so we were here two months ago. And you told me you waited for me and I never came back. But I waited for you too Logan, I waited for you to decide what you wanted. You broke up with me, remember?” Logan opened his mouth to comment, but she held up a hand, silencing him.

“I’m not blaming you for that I’m simply recalling facts. You broke up with me and said you needed to stop being in love with me. I was waiting for you to decided that you couldn’t. That you really did need me and want to be with me. But then six months went by and you were in Europe and I thought you were doing that thing you do when you get over someone. Fucking random girls. So I started dating Max. I thought that if you came back for me I’d leave him, it wouldn’t be a problem. Then three years went by and Max was proposing and I said yes. I didn’t want to be alone while I waited for you. Duncan had already said that you started dating one of Lindsay’s friends. I still thought you’d come for me, that when you did I’d leave Max for you.”

She took another deep breath and grabbed one of the water bottles off the dresser. Twisting off the cap she downed half the bottle, hold up a finger to Logan as if to pause the conversation.

“Okay, sorry, my mouth was dry.” She still held the bottle, rolling it between her hands as she started to pace in front of the bed. “Then Duncan said you asked Nicole to marry you. And that the two of you were talking about moving and having kids and I thought you might have really let go of me. That we really were done. So I agreed to Max’s idea of just going in to see the Justice of the Peace. We planned it to coincide with our vacation. We have a month set aside for our honeymoon. A week here in Neptune and then three in Hawaii.”

“Sounds like every girls’ dream, a life changing event without any of your friends there to witness it.” Logan’s voice was bitter and tinged with anger. He didn’t love Nicole, but he still gave her the wedding of her dreams. Veronica said she would never marry once upon a time, but she still had a vision of what her wedding would be like. And this was not it.

“Whatever, it’s not like a big wedding would mean anything different than what he planned out. Still a legally binding contract whether anyone I care about is there or not. Doesn’t matter.” She fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger, wished she’d had the foresight to take it off. She slipped it off now, and set it on the dresser.

“What I really wanted was a wedding on a beach in a silk dress with only our closest friends, our family, to witness it. Nothing huge and extravagant, but still meaningful. But I only wanted that with you. The only other person I ever had delusions about marrying was Duncan and that was a long time ago, when the only way that would work is if Lilly was my maid of honor. But that wedding with you, I’ve been dreaming about that for longer than I did about my wedding with him. Thought about it that summer, Freshman year of college and constantly our Senior year.”

His heart and his head couldn’t catch up and he could actually hear each thud of his heartbeat. His breathing was deep and panicked, gasping for air and getting too much. The room was spinning and he felt dizzy, he felt like crying and screaming at her. He felt like he was having a panic attack.

Veronica crouched in front of him, her fingers on his cheek, soothing. She gave his head a gentle push down and rubbed his back.

“Put your head between your knees and try to relax. It’s okay, but if you keep breathing like you are you’re going to pass out.” Her small hand was rubbing circles on his back and he’d never felt more comforted in all his life. Slowly his breathing returned to normal and he lifted his head to look into her eyes.

“I need more than this, Veronica. There was a time where this would have been enough, but I can’t throw everything away for you and put you at the center of my world again. Not when there’s a chance that one day you’ll walk away and I’ll be broken again, and all I’ll have to say is you said you waited.” His words shocked him, and he felt like crying again when she pulled away from him and her hands disappeared from his back.

Moments later she gripped is hands and held them tightly. Twisting a little, his fingers burned at the power of her grip. She looked into his eyes, seemingly searching for something, but she either found it or gave up on it because then she was looking at him straight on.

“Then marry me.” Veronica was amazed that her voice didn’t catch on the words, she hadn’t expected to take it this far. It seemed right though, that this is where it went and she asking him this, like this is where it was going all along.

Logan stared at her for a moment, holding his breath and trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Finally catching his breath again he swayed back to get a better look at her face, at her eyes. Then he lunged forward and his lips were suddenly on hers.

Veronica gasped with the sudden force of the kiss. She’d been expecting it, known it would happen when she’d seen the look in his eyes. But the shear intensity of it caught her off guard. His tongue slipped in with the small intake of breath, pushing against her in a way that was so familiar and yet hadn’t happened for much too long. She felt the comfort of it, the familiarity and the rightness of just kissing him that she had to pull back for a moment to look into his face.

“Should I take that as a yes? Or…” She trailed off at his grin, a grin that she couldn’t help but echo. A grin that felt like it was going to make her face break in half.

“It’s a definite yes… well it would be if you had a ring, but since you don’t I don’t think I can accept. A boy has to have some standards you know.” His voice was sarcastic and teasing, his hands had somehow made their way to the hem of her top and were playing with the fabric. His fingertips skimmed her stomach and she sucked it in at the electric jolt.

“We’ll get you that ring later you big girl, but right now I think that we should celebrate properly. In that big. comfy. king-sized. bed over there.” She punctuated each word with a kiss before slowly standing and tugging at his hands.

Logan stood and stared down at Veronica, stunned at how things were suddenly working out. Stunned at how incredibly happy he felt. Finally. And with that last thought he scooped her up and carried her to the bed, gently laying her down before roughly jumping onto it to lie next to her.

He grinned down at her as his hand hedged at the hem of her shirt again, before diving under to press against her stomach. Veronica’s own hands reached up behind his head and pulled his lips back to hers.

Logan’s hands moved from under her shirt to over it as he ran his hands up her back and pressed against the back of her head and neck. They quickly moved to run up and down her sides, skimming the sides of her breasts. He smiled against her mouth at the small hum she released at the back of her throat. He started to unbutton the front of her shirt, pink and button down she remembered that she’d brought a dress to wear for this conversation.

“Oh god, put your hands on me.” She arched off the bed, trying to get closer to him as he continued unbuttoning.

“I’m trying.” Logan’s voice was low and gruff and he was beyond excited at the sound of her husky ‘bedroom’ voice. The one he dreamt about and had missed all these years, the one no other woman had been able to copy. He decided to just rip open her top, screw the buttons when he reached the last one and sighed in relief. It parted and there she was, in a pink lace bra and already panting.

He leaned forward to kiss the tops of her breasts as she shrugged out of her shirt and he unhooked the bra simultaneously. He pulled the straps of the bra down and threw the undergarment onto the floor next to the bed wear her shirt had landed. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him closer as his mouth closed over her nipple.

“Everything’s pink today, huh?” He asked rhetorically, the sound muffled with his mouth pressed against her. “Your panties? Are they pink too?”

He asked the question, not expecting an answer as his right hand skimmed down her stomach to the button on her jeans. His left hand was pressed against the center of her back, holding her to him.

Veronica could feel his fingers, nervous and clumsy, fumbling with the closure of her jeans. She reached down to help but became distracted several times by running her hands across his skin. He ended up pulling away from her, actually having to look and focus on the button. He’d never been this inept before, but he was suddenly nervous at being with her.

“This might sound weird, but I’m a little nervous,” he confessed sheepishly, tilting his chin down and looking up at her through his lashes. Suddenly he was nervous and shy.

“Weird? No, in fact I feel a little nervous too. Like maybe you aren’t really the sex god I remember you to be.”

Logan could see what she was trying to do. Take a stab at his ego and his sexual competency and the nervousness would ease away. It was obvious and blatant. And worked like a charm. He grinned and leaned back, sitting up on his heels.

“Well then, we’ll have to get these pants off you so I can show you that your memory isn’t wrong.” He gripped the bottom of her pant legs and tugged, the material sliding down over her feet and off completely. He grinned.

“Ah… matching panties.” Logan leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her stomach, a few inches below her bellybutton. His fingers curled under the hip straps of the lace panties and began to roll them down slowly, pressing kisses to newly exposed skin.

Finally he pulled her underwear off completely and shot them like a slingshot across the room, earning a giggle from the owner. Grinning he pushed his hands against her knees, spreading them wider to accommodate his shoulders as he leaned forward. Pressing a final, almost chaste, kiss to the juncture of her inner thigh.

Veronica had only moments to prepare herself before he pressed against her and he let out a low hum at the moment of her gasp. She bit her bottom lip and clutched the sheets in her fists as she arched up off the bed. His talented tongue lapped at her, flicking at her clit. His mouth closed over it and sucked, bring her into his mouth as she felt one finger slide into her. He added another finger when she moaned, and a third when she nearly shouted his name.

Logan extracted himself from her body. He smiled when he looked down to find her cute little pout wrinkling her forehead. Grabbing the bottom of his t-shirt he pulled it over his head in a quick motion before sliding off the bed. He toed off his shoes as he unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them off quickly. Finally he shucked off his boxers and leapt back onto the bed, causing Veronica to giggle.

“I like that.”

“What?”

“Your laugh, should do it more.” Logan whispered as he touched his lips to her neck, lowering his body to hers.

“Mmmm… I think that should be your job from now on, to make sure I do it more.” She replied, wrapping her legs and arms around his waist and shoulders. She couldn’t get close enough to him. She remembered this feeling from before, she just didn’t remember it being this intense. Didn’t remember feeling like she wanted to crawl inside him and be there forever.

“It’s a plan. Now stop talking, we’re busy.” Logan’s mouth covered hers, his hands diving into her hair. One hand left and snaked downwards to guide himself into her.

She moaned loudly, bucking her hips at him. Logan stilled his movements to acclimate himself to the sensation. There was that feeling. The feeling he’d been missing, slowly dying a lonely death without. He felt like his heart was beating so hard it was going to explode, the exhilaration almost too much to handle. He couldn’t catch his breath and he felt… he felt amazed. He was so in love with this girl and she’d come for him. Finally she had come for him. She was finally risking things for him, giving things up to be with him. She wanted to marry him.

Logan sped up his pace now, going from stillness to a quickness in mere seconds. Her hips thrust back at him as he pumped into her. Their momentum was building and she was getting louder, more incoherent. The thrusts were getting erratic, less measured than before. She was coming and he’d hold off until she did. He bit his bottom lip, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to conjure up the unsexiest picture he could. Nothing was working.

Suddenly she screamed out his name, digging her nails into his shoulder blades. She bit his shoulder, leaving a red mark that would be a bruise shortly. At the sound of his name, the feel of her tightening around him, his eyes had sprung open. He now stared into her eyes, seeing all the emotions that played in them as she slipped off into her orgasm.

“Oh, fuck. Veronica, I’m… Oh God.” Logan stuttered off a groan as he came, stiffening above her after one last messy thrust. He was still watching her now hooded eyes, and all he could see in them was his own pure bliss mirrored back.

Veronica lay beneath him for a few minutes, waiting for him to regain his strength. She didn’t mind that he had collapsed on top of her, welcomed the feel of him pressing her into the mattress. He slid off of her, sliding behind her as she rolled herself to her side. Spooning, he grabbed her hands, lacing their fingers together. Using his new position he squeezed her fingers before pulling her back tightly against his chest.

“So, was it like you remembered?” His voice was soft and even though it was meant to be light with humor she could hear the insecurity behind the question.

“No.” She heard his small gasp, smiling before she continued in a whisper. “It was better. You can’t really do that justice in the memory.” She could practically hear him grin.

“No I guess you can’t.” Logan kissed the back of her neck three times in quick succession. The lay there, quiet, for a few minutes before Veronica broke the silence.

“I love you.” Veronica whispered it like a confession, like it was something she had tried to keep hidden for all these years. And she had, for the most part. Never letting on how much she cared for and needed him. But now she wasn’t content on running anymore, to him or from him. She was tired and caught, finally able to accept his help and protection. Finally allowing herself to admit she needed him.

“I love you, too.” He whispered it back like a declaration, like he always had.

As the wind blows over the plains
So are you to me

Logan was pulling his jeans on, Veronica was digging another shirt out of her duffel.

“It’s completely unfair that you get clean clothes and mine are three days old. Do I smell?” Logan joked as she pulled on a pale blue tank top.

Veronica played along, sniffing the air before wrinkling her nose in mock disgust. “A little.” She laughed as Logan tackled her to the bed again.

“Well then, lets stay here.” He said it seriously, looking into her eyes before kissing her.

They were interrupted by one of their cell phones ringing. Most likely it was Nicole. Max had called and left a couple voicemails before giving up, she’d left a note and he knew she wouldn’t be home. Logan however hadn’t been home since Friday and it was now Sunday, and Nicole had maxed out Logan’s voicemail and text messages received. She had repeatedly called since she could no longer leave messages. Logan had turned his phone off, but since they were getting ready to leave he had turned it back on.

The only call Veronica actually answered was when Logan was in the shower and the hotel phone rang. It’d been Mac, asking how things went with Logan. Veronica had simply told her that she couldn’t talk, Logan was in the shower and she was going to go join him. Mac had called again early this morning while Logan was sleeping for more details.

Logan got off the bed and grabbed his phone, turning his phone off. He then pulled on his t-shirt and eased into his shoes.

“Nicole again?”

“Actually, it was Dick. I’m sure he wants details, like, the kind you didn’t give Mac this morning.” Logan chuckled as he reached for her keys and her bag. “I’ll drive you to the airport and then drop by his and Mac’s place for dinner.”

“Scared to go home?” She asked, laughing at his comical look and shrug. “Wimp.”

Logan smiled and switched the bag from his left shoulder to his right so he could put his arm around her. They walked out of the room and out of the hotel hand in hand.

The held hands during the ride to the airport, but they were both silent. When they got there he walked her to the gate.

“Maybe I can go with you, break the news to Max together. Then we can tell Nicole together, that way we don’t have to be apart.” He was grasping at straws, afraid to let her leave.

“Logan, you go tell your girlfriend, I’ll go break up with my boyfriend and I’ll be back in two weeks. Enough time to wrap up everything with work, pack up my stuff in the apartment and say goodbye to everyone. It’ll be fine, I’ll be back in two weeks and it’ll all be okay.” Veronica was trying to mollify his fears, she understood his sudden insecurity and hated herself for being at the root of it.

He gave her a weak smile and kissed her chastely, he would believe her. He’d end things with Nicole, go through with the sale on his house and pray she did come back in two weeks. If she didn’t he’d have to buy a new place to live, start over completely again. Putting his faith in Veronica one last time he watched her turn and head through security.

This was it, their last shot.

~ * ~

Veronica touched down in Boston just as it was getting dark. She let out a big yawn, finally starting to feel the lack of sleep from the last few days. That added with the time change she barely had enough energy to lift her bag.

She trudged down to the front of the airport and hailed a cab, hefting her bag into the trunk. Veronica nodded off twice in the cab, zoning out the entire trip to the apartment. Suddenly she was standing outside her front door, key in hand, and couldn’t bring herself to unlock the door. So she stood there, weighing her options. If she went to a hotel for the night she’d be guaranteed a full night’s rest before work the next day. She could come home at five and wait for however long it took him to get home and then they’d have the big break up fight. She’d be up late, but at least she’d be fully rested. Maybe she could get a nap in before he got home too.

If she went in now, he’d ask where’d she’d been all weekend. Why she had left and why she hadn’t returned any of his messages. They’d fight, they’d yell and they’d finally break up. This break up had been coming since day one, they’d never been meant for each other. He didn’t know how to read her, couldn’t even begin to understand her. When it came down to it, Max was no where near right for her. And there was no reason to prolong this as much as she already had.

Decision made Veronica pushed the key into the lock and turned, she’d do this now. The door swung open and she was hit with the sound of classic rock. Bob Dylan. Max was listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd was probably in the changer as well. He was pissed. Probably sitting in he lounge chair in the living room and reading a novel, with the lamp on.

She dropped her duffel and rounded the corner, and there he was. Sitting in his chair with the lamp on, reading his Tolstoy novel. He was always the angriest when he read the Russian authors. Veronica detoured towards the kitchen, she’d need coffee if she wanted to stay awake and alert in this fight. She took the mug into the bedroom and grabbing her duffel on the way. She grabbed two outfits for work tomorrow and shoved them in the bag and left it by the door.

“Max?” Veronica called out from the hallway, surprised when her voice didn’t shake.

“What?” Max was snappy, his reply coming out loud and harsh. Veronica sighed, preparing herself before going into the living room.

“Okay, so I should have told you I was leaving before I left, but I didn’t know I was going to be gone until an hour before my flight.”

“You couldn’t have called on the way to the airport? Or answered one of my messages? Why the hell were you in Neptune anyway?” Max set aside his novel, not looking at her before he took off his completely unnecessary reading glasses. He only wore them when he to intimidate, like when he was in the courtroom.

“Wallace had a problem, and I had to go help him with that. I didn’t think you’d care if I left. I didn’t really think about calling on the way, and I was so busy. I was so busy that I didn’t have a chance to call, then my phone died and I just never recharged it. I should have called, I know that.” She was pacing, and nervous.

“Bullshit. I fucking called Wallace and then I called your dad. Neither knew where you were, neither knew you were in town. Then I called Mac’s house, but Dick picked up and that man cannot lie. Stuttered through some excuse about not seeing you since the wedding. Then he changed to you were out with Mac and you were helping Mac with a problem. Not Wallace. What’s going on Veronica?” He was staring at her with his icy green eyes.

“You’re right, I wasn’t with Wallace. I wasn’t with Mac either, although she and Dick were the only ones that knew I was there. Them and… Logan.” She wasn’t going to be afraid of him, she wasn’t going to put off the issue.

“Logan? What were you doing with Logan?” Max stood up quickly, squaring his shoulders and filling up the room intimidatingly. He took one step towards her, and she stepped back.

“We’re getting back together. Logan and I, we’re… I want to be with him.” Veronica’s voice shook, she backed up a little more, needing to be further away from him. His face was getting hard, and his eyes were completely closed off. She’d seen this look only once before. He’d hauled back and slapped her the last time. They’d been fighting about her moving in with him and he’d lost it.

He was immediately sorry and she’d made the decision to stay with him anyway. He hadn’t meant it and she didn’t plan to be with him in the long run. Then he’d proposed and when she hesitated he started to get that look again. She’d said yes and it’d gone away. But now he was advancing on her and she knew that eventually she’d hit the wall if she kept backing up. Then she’d be trapped and her purse and taser were still sitting by the door.

“You think so huh? You think I’m just going to let that happen? You said yes, I asked you to marry me and you said yes. That’s a verbal contract you little bitch, and I’m holding you to it.” He reached out with his fist and grasped onto her hair, a handful getting tangled in his fingers. Max pulled her face closer to his until she was just an inch away. “This isn’t happening Veronica, you hear me? It’s not.”

With a well aimed jerk she slammed her knee into his groin. He grunted and dropped her head, backing away from her to grab himself. She took her chance to make it to her purse, her hand closing over her taser and holding it like a shield in front of her.

“Stay away from me Max, I mean it. I’ll use this on you, don’t think I-”

Max cut her off, grabbing her wrist and squeezing. It felt like her bones were about to break, then he lifted his other hand and backhanded her across her cheek. The force of the hit released her from his grip and she fell against the table that stood by the door. She tightened her hand over taser again and this time flicked the switch to the electricity. Veronica looked at Max again, then rammed it into his rib cage. He collapsed and Veronica ran to the bedroom, grabbing up her duffel and grabbed her purse on the way out.

She’d have her friend Michael come with her to pack up the rest of her stuff, but she was leaving now. She wouldn’t stay here with him. And in two weeks she’d be in California for good, and she’d never have to see Max again. She’d been confused about who and what she was when she stayed with him before, allowed him to intimidate her into staying. Not this time. She had Logan back and with that came clarity, as always. No more ‘normal’ guys like Max and Duncan, she wasn’t normal and would never be happy with that type of guy. Especially when they all seemed to turn out violent or deluded.

~ * ~

Logan entered his house. Scratch that, the house that was his a month and a half ago before Nicole insisted that they sell it to move to New York City. Because the West Coast, according to Nicole, was so over. They were East Coast people, because East Coast people were more sophisticated and generally better at life. Logan never won the argument that some of the richest people in the country lived on the West Coast, including his best friend’s father.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Nicole exploded the moment he walked into the kitchen. Her shriek was loud and he moved to the bar first, he was going to need a scotch if he was going to get through this conversation.

“Around.” he poured a tumbler full of the amber liquid and downed it one gulp, giving her a snarky answer.

“Around? You disappear for nearly three days and that’s all you have to say? You’re an asshole Logan.” Nicole crossed her arms in front of her and shifted her weight with her right hip cocked. She was trying to look intimidating and in the past it may have worked. Now it just seemed ridiculous that this little brunette girl thought she could scare him. Make him think he wasn’t good enough. He’d spent years at his father’s mercy and then dealt with the Fitzpatricks and PCHers. The only thing that had ever continued to scare him was that something might happen to Veronica. That and her talent for revenge. And he was better than Nicole, she faked her way through friendships and pretended in their relationship.

“Yeah, maybe I am an asshole, but you know what Nicky? You’re a bitch, and as much sense as it makes for us to be paired up we shouldn’t be. I don’t love you enough to look past your faults. I can’t and you seem not to be able to look past mine. Or really, you can’t look past my bank account, but that’s beside the point. The point is that we’re over. Done.” Logan was making a dramatic return to his days of old. The days when his gestures were wild and dramatic. The days when Veronica called him a drama queen and giggled when he acted offended.

“Done? You can’t be serious. I’m not leaving this house, it’s mine and I won’t leave it. This is my life Logan and you can’t pull it all away from me.”

“I am serious and you will leave this house. We arranged for movers and they’ll be here in a few days, I’ve called and told them it will all go into a storage unit. A unit you don’t have access to. I’ve contacted the woman in New York and cancelled the sale on the new house so that’s gone. I cancelled your credit cards this morning and the dealership will be picking up your car. So stay here as long as you like, it can be the new owner’s job to have you escorted off the premises by the police. I don’t care.” Logan sat on the couch, wiggling around a little to get comfortable as he sipped his second glass of scotch.

“Are you drunk? Where are you going to live? With Dick and his new wife?” There was a chuckle in her voice, she still thought he was joking. She moved closer and settled herself on his lap. “Don’t be silly Logan, we’ll cancel the sale on the house and stay here if you’re so against New York.”

Logan shoved her of his lap and she landed with a thump on the couch. Rolling his eyes he continued, trying to make her see that he was completely serious. “No Nicky, you don’t get it. We really are over. You want to know where I was all weekend?”

“Yes, I want to know where you were all weekend.” Nicole stared at him, her face looking like steal.

“I was at the Grand, with Veronica. We’re engaged, and you and I are finished.” He said it while staring her in the eye, seeing the twitch of anger in her face. Her jaw jut forward, and she pulled further away from him.

“No, you and I are engaged and she’s set to be married in two weeks. To that Max guy.” Nicole’s voice seemed less sure and more angry.

“Wrong, you and I are over, as I’ve mentioned several times. And as we speak she’s ending it with Max. And you want to know where I’m going to live? In my beach house. The one you wanted to sell so bad. I’m going to live there with the love of my life and I never want to have to see you again.” With that Logan stood and left the room, going upstairs to pack his things. He’d have to call a maid service to go clean the beach house in the morning, but he’d stay with Dick until it was clean.

He had two weeks until she was back, a week until she promised her stuff would start showing up. Shipping it all by boxes. He’d have the house set up for when she got back. Then they’d be together and nothing would stop them.

~ * ~

Two weeks later she pulled up in front of the small three bedroom beach house they’d shared years ago. The one she’d dreamt about and never stopped thinking of as home. Wallace had asked if she wanted him to pick her up from the airport, but she’d said no. She rented a car and drove instead. They’d have to get her a car in the next few days and then she’d have to start thinking about work, but right now all she wanted was Logan.

Logan was probably inside pacing, worrying that her flight had been delayed or that she’d chickened out and was on the run again. She smiled at the image she got of him walking back and forth with his hands pulling his sleeves down.

Veronica checked the mirror, making sure that her make up was perfect and her bruise from Max was really gone. It had faded a week ago but she’d become paranoid that Logan would know what happened and go on a rampage. Satisfied she hopped out of the car and ran up the front walk, opting to leave her bags until later. Most of her stuff was here already anyway.

She swung the door open, it squeaked with years of humidity and lack of use. It looked the same, as if nobody had been in it for five years. Like time had froze.

She walked further into the house, looking for Logan. He wasn’t in either of the bathrooms or bedrooms. She heard the creak of a door behind and before she could turn around he was there, arms wrapped around her.

“Hi baby,” Logan’s voice was low and smooth, it gave her shivers to hear it after missing it for so long.

“Hey, the house looks good.” Veronica turned in his arms to face her. “And so do you.”

Logan grinned, leaning forward to capture her lips. After a few moments she pulled away completely, digging in her jeans pocket. She held up a silver ring on a chain, a small diamond glinting.

“I got that engagement ring you were so worried about.” Veronica said, holding the ring and chain aloft. Logan’s laugh was loud and unrestrained, he reached in his own pocket and dug out a small black velvet box.

“Got you one too.” He flipped open the top and revealed a moderate sized round diamond set in platinum. It was simple and elegant. Veronica gasped at it’s beauty and Logan’s ability to pick the perfect ring for her. His ability to show her how much he knew her.

“Let’s go celebrate properly, huh?” Logan asked as he scooped her up, one arm behind her back and another behind her legs. He carried her to the bedroom as she slid her ring on her finger and the chain over his head.

So are you to me

Chapter 7a: End of the Circle