(no subject)
I want this feeling to stop. I feel so empty, so pointless. I want to die, I almost tried to kill myself this morning, and the feeling hasn't gone away. I wasn't good enough after all. Marilyn wants me to find someone that will make me happy. Who would want me, hm? There's tons of better people out there. I wouldn't even want me. I feel so unbelievably unloved right now. I'm glad to see she's happy though. Am I even needed? Really now, everyone would be just the same as they are now if I wasn't around. I don't make a difference at all, I'm not special to anyone. I can't believe I'm crying again, why can't I stop crying?! There is never anyone to talk to around here, I have never felt so alone and worthless. I was so happy before, we were so happy before, somehow I ruined it all, I always ruin it! In the end, everyone leaves me. Help me, Marilyn, anyone, I want this horrible feeling inside to stop!! Do I make anybody's life better at all? I hate myself more than I ever have right now. I'm going to go, I'm feeling sick again.