A few thoughts on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Jan 17, 2006 22:56

These thoughts are accurate and correct, and they should be your thoughts too.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day was established by a bunch of darkies that thought to themselves "Man, the crackaz gots it too good yo. We gots to do wit'out like every dizzle n' shit, know what I'm sayin'?" So what they did was they pooled all their welfare checks and Planned Parenthood income and bought the administration for one day.

The idear is that since Whitey keeps the chocolate munchkins from getting ahead in life, they'd set aside a day to shut the whole system down and give them a taste of what it's like to do "wit'out". After all, you can't make it day to day on just your cushy-ass Affirmative Action corporate executive pay alone, with sixteen kids and two new Cadillacs (you need seventeen kids to pull that kind of income). So for one day, under the onus of Black Power, whitey can't, say, go to the grocery store to buy food, get electricity turned on, take their seriously ill pet to a veterinarian, or any of the other frivolous crap that whitey likes to do.

Since the black minority, which accounts for 60% of America's population, can't afford any of the above crap, they won't miss it for just one more day. And it's yet another inconvenience to the caucasian masses. After all, two hundred years ago they kept the black folk down, right? And there's nothing like making an entire race pay for mistakes that took place a hundred years before any of its members were even born. That's why we make those damn Irish farm potatoes and work on the railroad every day.

I fucking hate the Irish. Alberto says it's because they drink more than me, but I don't agree. There's no way the combined Irish populace can drink more than I do.

Anyway, I expect my speech writers to polish this before I deliver it publicly. Oh, and New Orleans got flooded because God is white.
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