Zark Owie and the Queers
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi got killed again. First we blew up his house and a bunch of people he had over for tea or whatever those people drink. Then he was reportedly shot several times while making his exit. So we killed him twice. Some might call it overkill (I made a funny), but it's a turning point on the War on Terror™. Yes, another one. We have a lot of turning points, because God likes them. Since it had to hurt, I'm going to call him Zark Owie. I made another joke. I am so clever. It's not like Iranian names mean anything anyway. Anyway, Zark Owie has met his end and this violent man will never murder again. Almost definitely. Probably.
In more important news, Alabama has agreed to become an official theocracy and has now written a law against gay marriage. Because it's immoral and wrong. Not like killing three thousand people and blaming someone else -- that was for God. Those obnoxious nigger- and queer-loving liberals stopped my national ban from going through once more, so I've turned right back around and I'm putting it in again. While Americans are supposed to be able to pursue happiness, homosexuals are clearly un-American. Didn't you read your bible? It says "straight and narrow", and that clearly defines our ideals.
In more important news, Alabama has agreed to become an official theocracy and has now written a law against gay marriage. Because it's immoral and wrong. Not like killing three thousand people and blaming someone else -- that was for God. Those obnoxious nigger- and queer-loving liberals stopped my national ban from going through once more, so I've turned right back around and I'm putting it in again. While Americans are supposed to be able to pursue happiness, homosexuals are clearly un-American. Didn't you read your bible? It says "straight and narrow", and that clearly defines our ideals.