An Absloute Mess
I have waited all day for my doctor's office to call with the newest set of quant level results. Finally, at nearly 5:30pm, they did, and it wasn't quite what I was hoping to hear. Really, it wasn't what I wanted to hear at all, as far as I am concerned.
She said that the levels did go up, but not as much as they are supposed to. She said that this early along (8 weeks this coming Saturday) they should be constantly doubling. She didn't give me any numbers, no one has, though I have had it done 4 times now, but she said they just aren't as high now as they should be,
She said that they will be calling in the morning to schedule an ultrasound, to try to see what is going on. She told me while it isn't unheard of for pregnancies to be this way and end up perfectly normal, she also said that due to the fact that I have been spotting for 10 days straight and that sometimes it is almost like a light period, that I could be miscarrying.
I am feeling crushed, and scared, and bitter. If I m/c, I cannot be surprised due to all of my health issues, but I don't think I will ever forgive myself, and I think I will have too many misgivings to be someone to turn around and keep trying. I don't know what to think. I wish someone could tell me everything is OK and I could believe it, but right now I just can't.
I'm so sorry, I wish I could have brought some better news. With a miracle, maybe I will find out that it will be OK, but, if not, then I wish all the rest of you many blessings, and my heart goes out to anyone else who ever has to know how I am feeling right now.
She said that the levels did go up, but not as much as they are supposed to. She said that this early along (8 weeks this coming Saturday) they should be constantly doubling. She didn't give me any numbers, no one has, though I have had it done 4 times now, but she said they just aren't as high now as they should be,
She said that they will be calling in the morning to schedule an ultrasound, to try to see what is going on. She told me while it isn't unheard of for pregnancies to be this way and end up perfectly normal, she also said that due to the fact that I have been spotting for 10 days straight and that sometimes it is almost like a light period, that I could be miscarrying.
I am feeling crushed, and scared, and bitter. If I m/c, I cannot be surprised due to all of my health issues, but I don't think I will ever forgive myself, and I think I will have too many misgivings to be someone to turn around and keep trying. I don't know what to think. I wish someone could tell me everything is OK and I could believe it, but right now I just can't.
I'm so sorry, I wish I could have brought some better news. With a miracle, maybe I will find out that it will be OK, but, if not, then I wish all the rest of you many blessings, and my heart goes out to anyone else who ever has to know how I am feeling right now.