love, life, being me.............
You know those times where you sit and just wander into the world you have created in your head to be your utopia? I've been spending alot of time there lately.....I've been trying to make sense of all the shit I've been around lately. Love wise....Life wise....It's like this: tonight i called the ex that im still very much in love with, and he picked up after like 5 rings and i heard his girlfriend in the background asking who it was so I told him that i heard he was with his girlfriend...and that i would call him back. I think he's finally happy and i dont want to ruin that for him but I can't help but wonder what if: what if we hadnt broken up....what if we were still together. I've tried to hard to forget him i just can't. I've tried to hate him but that failed as well. Time and time again I've tried to throw myself on other guys to forget him....which, contrary to popular belief, I don't do very often; I'm done with that scene and that lifestyle. Yet another thing i love about my ex he changed me to become the people i have only envied from afar, that i thought i was not deservent to be. The loved girl, the happy girl, the one who knows that she doesn't need a guy to complete her but instead is complete within herself...he just adds to her completion...if that even makes sense. Well im gonna go eat dinner long ass day.