3520: Last Little Sacrifice - Zelena Nox and company
Don't forget about Tropes Sue Week either. I'm looking for help finding entries for said week. I'm also looking for some feedback on this. One of the Suethor's would like actual critique on their entry found here.
I ended up skipping a lot of stories on the Just in List as they didn't sound really interesting via their summaries.
TITLE: Last Little Sacrifice
PERPETRATOR: Monsterpanda
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: I think the writer's avatar is their own picture. (Cringe...
SUMMARY:”Zelena witnessed her adoptive parents tortured and murdered, the nightmarish scene still haunts her every moment of every day. She tries her damn hardest to push through it all but her father has already planned her future and her future was a battle zone. Will her last little sacrifice save those she has learned to care for or will it kill them all?”
FULL NAME: Zelena Nox, Cruella, Matthias, Tamika, George the II, Josephine, Lindell, Adrion
SPECIES: Random sue from the US, see origins section, Scorpius' son, see origins section, see last note, same, again the same, possibly Zelena's love interest
HAIR: “I turned the corner and was knocked over by a boy with white hair.” His name is Matthias, and he's Scorpius Malfoy's son. The characters tend to have punk looks with their hair dyed.
EYES: See the character profiles on their Polyvore account.
MARKINGS: See above.
POSSESSIONS: Outfits can be found on my Polyvore (Noellamonster) and people can be found on my profile.) I want to slam my head against the keyboard with frustration. “All female outfits can be found on Polyvore, if they had better clothes collection for males I would put theirs on there too.” I checked out their account, and I saw the picture of her canon characters.
CONNECTION TO CANON: She randomly runs into Matthias as Scorpius is dropped off at school. She finally gets into a fight with some girl named Curella. I finally decided to just look at the author's notes. The story's just that painful.
ORIGIN: I got this in the author's note. “This story is when Harry Potter's kids have kids and they are in school, and no I will not be starting off with first year.” The second paragraph in is the writer's sob story. “I had transferred from the Salem Institute for Witches and Wizards, the headmistress decided I would be safer out of country. A killer had escaped from the island prison κακό πνεύμα and killed my parents, he was put into κακό πνεύμα for murdering the rest of my family and a neighboring family many years ago. It was easy to tell that there were few people who knew who he was but were unwilling to come forth with that information. I don't understand why he hadn't killed me along with my mom and dad, he just decided to torture me until the wizarding police showed up. Then he vanished, it was as if he was never there. But the carnage he left behind made no one doubt what I had been through.” I found this author's note for chapter six. “I would like to clear some things up, Fred Weasley is NOT dead. I just could not let him be killed off. Instead he lives and marries Angela's' twin Sister Amelia. They have a son who is named George marries Josephine and he has a daughter named Cruella. George and Angela have a son named Fred who marries Josephine's twin Tamika who then has a daughter named Lindell. Cruella and Lindell have DNA like identical twins but they are technically cousins although they refer to each other as sisters. If the first outfit a character has (on Polyvore) has a tattoos/piercings I will not put it in every set but please note they do still have those modifications. “
SPECIAL ABILITIES: McGonagall is still alive and able to teach Harry's grand kids. She's allowed to run around in the Forbidden Forest despite the fact it is forbidden. She's also staying over the summer despite the fact it doesn't seem as if she's been to school yet. The Sorting Hat is forgotten, and students apparently randomly pick which dorm they want to be in. The sorting hat really isn't forgotten, but the wording the writer uses is off. For example, “I sat on a fallen tree and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, upon arriving I had been sorted into Slytherin therefore I was able to move into a room where three other girls would also move into. […] Students are starting to come, one has already chosen your dorm.” Apparently there is now a limit on beds for each dorm room, and the Sue is allowed to be sorted before everybody else. (I thought the writer wasn't starting with the first year, so her dorm mates should already be choosen.)
NOTES: I'm not impressed that the typed “evil spirit” into a program like Google translate to get “κακό πνεύμα”. They couldn't be bothered to see which Greek translation they preferred or write out the words using English phonetics. It's actually “kakó pnév̱ma”, but nobody's going to know that unless they know Greek phonetics. I think the writer is writing a third generation fic because she thinks it means she can change the rules however she likes, and so her character can be a hero. None of this is good writing. The writer also changes point of view randomly.
The writer might as well be writing original fiction with her disregard of the rules Rowling set down for how the school works. Students don't seem to take the train anymore, and Hogwarts has been turned into some random boarding school for the Sue to hang out with her friends, and run around causing problems. I then found the note about Fred, and felt a shudder run down my spine. I found out in chapter twelve that “I already have over 30 chapters of this story written”. Two months, and twenty one chapters are posted. Nothing's actually happened, and I don't think the writer gets the point of fanfiction.
Polyvore also says a lot.
SAMPLE:
My legs ached as I ran through the forbidden forest, my heart was thumping wildly in my chest. Finally I decided to stop, I bent over, my hands on my knees, and my breathing labored. The school year was starting in two days but I had been here for about two months, it was a lonely existence since there were very few kids that stayed during summer. But I at least had time to study for the school year ahead and could be alone when I needed to be, I knew that would stop once the school year started. I didn't know how well I would be able to handle being around so many people again but my mom would want to put on a brave face and push through this.
I had transferred from the Salem Institute for Witches and Wizards, the headmistress decided I would be safer out of country. A killer had escaped from the island prison κακό πνεύμα and killed my parents, he was put into κακό πνεύμα for murdering the rest of my family and a neighboring family many years ago. It was easy to tell that there were few people who knew who he was but were unwilling to come forth with that information. I don't understand why he hadn't killed me along with my mom and dad, he just decided to torture me until the wizarding police showed up. Then he vanished, it was as if he was never there. But the carnage he left behind made no one doubt what I had been through.
I sat on a fallen tree and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, upon arriving I had been sorted into Slytherin therefore I was able to move into a room where three other girls would also move into. I chose a bed that was near the large windows, I liked to sit on the padded windowsill and watch the stars and any creatures that would scamper in the night. It was the only peace of mind I got, I slept maybe three hours a night if not less. Ever since that night it had been harder to sleep and when I did finally sleep I was plagued with nightmares, most just replays of what had happed.
I stood and turned my music up before I ran back the way I came, I knew not to stray too far even though it was bright and early, McGonagall was waiting for me when I got to the front of the forest. I picked up my Slytherin bag and took a rag from it to wipe the sweat from my face, neck, and chest.
"You've been running quite a lot lately Miss. Nox" she said as we walked up to the castle.
"Yeah, it helps me clear my head." I hadn't really talked to anyone since I got here except headmistress McGonagall.
"I see, and so does Quidditch?" she smiled a bit, most likely already knowing the answer.
"Yes, thank you for teaching me." I wasn't surprised that she was so good, she had worked here for so long.
"You were very easy to teach and it was quite enjoyable. Students are starting to come, one has already chosen your dorm." She stopped, turned into a cat and began heading another way. She did that often.
I sighed before I began jogging to the castle. McGonagall had already decided I would be on the Slytherin Quidditch team, I didn't have much say in the matter but I guess it would help me focus on other things rather than some things.
I walked into my dorm, so far no one was there but someone had chosen the bed opposite mine. I grabbed clothes and headed to the showers. I needed to whip up another container of various soaps but I had enough for another shower. I took my time showering, shaving, and drying myself off.
I put my hair up, lotioned myself, then dressed for the day. It was only ten when I was finished, my jog only lasted two hours and my shower only lasted one. I applied my usual make up and headed down to the library, I pulled an apple out of my bag and ate it as I walked.
I ended up skipping a lot of stories on the Just in List as they didn't sound really interesting via their summaries.
TITLE: Last Little Sacrifice
PERPETRATOR: Monsterpanda
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: I think the writer's avatar is their own picture. (Cringe...
SUMMARY:”Zelena witnessed her adoptive parents tortured and murdered, the nightmarish scene still haunts her every moment of every day. She tries her damn hardest to push through it all but her father has already planned her future and her future was a battle zone. Will her last little sacrifice save those she has learned to care for or will it kill them all?”
FULL NAME: Zelena Nox, Cruella, Matthias, Tamika, George the II, Josephine, Lindell, Adrion
SPECIES: Random sue from the US, see origins section, Scorpius' son, see origins section, see last note, same, again the same, possibly Zelena's love interest
HAIR: “I turned the corner and was knocked over by a boy with white hair.” His name is Matthias, and he's Scorpius Malfoy's son. The characters tend to have punk looks with their hair dyed.
EYES: See the character profiles on their Polyvore account.
MARKINGS: See above.
POSSESSIONS: Outfits can be found on my Polyvore (Noellamonster) and people can be found on my profile.) I want to slam my head against the keyboard with frustration. “All female outfits can be found on Polyvore, if they had better clothes collection for males I would put theirs on there too.” I checked out their account, and I saw the picture of her canon characters.
CONNECTION TO CANON: She randomly runs into Matthias as Scorpius is dropped off at school. She finally gets into a fight with some girl named Curella. I finally decided to just look at the author's notes. The story's just that painful.
ORIGIN: I got this in the author's note. “This story is when Harry Potter's kids have kids and they are in school, and no I will not be starting off with first year.” The second paragraph in is the writer's sob story. “I had transferred from the Salem Institute for Witches and Wizards, the headmistress decided I would be safer out of country. A killer had escaped from the island prison κακό πνεύμα and killed my parents, he was put into κακό πνεύμα for murdering the rest of my family and a neighboring family many years ago. It was easy to tell that there were few people who knew who he was but were unwilling to come forth with that information. I don't understand why he hadn't killed me along with my mom and dad, he just decided to torture me until the wizarding police showed up. Then he vanished, it was as if he was never there. But the carnage he left behind made no one doubt what I had been through.” I found this author's note for chapter six. “I would like to clear some things up, Fred Weasley is NOT dead. I just could not let him be killed off. Instead he lives and marries Angela's' twin Sister Amelia. They have a son who is named George marries Josephine and he has a daughter named Cruella. George and Angela have a son named Fred who marries Josephine's twin Tamika who then has a daughter named Lindell. Cruella and Lindell have DNA like identical twins but they are technically cousins although they refer to each other as sisters. If the first outfit a character has (on Polyvore) has a tattoos/piercings I will not put it in every set but please note they do still have those modifications. “
SPECIAL ABILITIES: McGonagall is still alive and able to teach Harry's grand kids. She's allowed to run around in the Forbidden Forest despite the fact it is forbidden. She's also staying over the summer despite the fact it doesn't seem as if she's been to school yet. The Sorting Hat is forgotten, and students apparently randomly pick which dorm they want to be in. The sorting hat really isn't forgotten, but the wording the writer uses is off. For example, “I sat on a fallen tree and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, upon arriving I had been sorted into Slytherin therefore I was able to move into a room where three other girls would also move into. […] Students are starting to come, one has already chosen your dorm.” Apparently there is now a limit on beds for each dorm room, and the Sue is allowed to be sorted before everybody else. (I thought the writer wasn't starting with the first year, so her dorm mates should already be choosen.)
NOTES: I'm not impressed that the typed “evil spirit” into a program like Google translate to get “κακό πνεύμα”. They couldn't be bothered to see which Greek translation they preferred or write out the words using English phonetics. It's actually “kakó pnév̱ma”, but nobody's going to know that unless they know Greek phonetics. I think the writer is writing a third generation fic because she thinks it means she can change the rules however she likes, and so her character can be a hero. None of this is good writing. The writer also changes point of view randomly.
The writer might as well be writing original fiction with her disregard of the rules Rowling set down for how the school works. Students don't seem to take the train anymore, and Hogwarts has been turned into some random boarding school for the Sue to hang out with her friends, and run around causing problems. I then found the note about Fred, and felt a shudder run down my spine. I found out in chapter twelve that “I already have over 30 chapters of this story written”. Two months, and twenty one chapters are posted. Nothing's actually happened, and I don't think the writer gets the point of fanfiction.
Polyvore also says a lot.
SAMPLE:
My legs ached as I ran through the forbidden forest, my heart was thumping wildly in my chest. Finally I decided to stop, I bent over, my hands on my knees, and my breathing labored. The school year was starting in two days but I had been here for about two months, it was a lonely existence since there were very few kids that stayed during summer. But I at least had time to study for the school year ahead and could be alone when I needed to be, I knew that would stop once the school year started. I didn't know how well I would be able to handle being around so many people again but my mom would want to put on a brave face and push through this.
I had transferred from the Salem Institute for Witches and Wizards, the headmistress decided I would be safer out of country. A killer had escaped from the island prison κακό πνεύμα and killed my parents, he was put into κακό πνεύμα for murdering the rest of my family and a neighboring family many years ago. It was easy to tell that there were few people who knew who he was but were unwilling to come forth with that information. I don't understand why he hadn't killed me along with my mom and dad, he just decided to torture me until the wizarding police showed up. Then he vanished, it was as if he was never there. But the carnage he left behind made no one doubt what I had been through.
I sat on a fallen tree and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, upon arriving I had been sorted into Slytherin therefore I was able to move into a room where three other girls would also move into. I chose a bed that was near the large windows, I liked to sit on the padded windowsill and watch the stars and any creatures that would scamper in the night. It was the only peace of mind I got, I slept maybe three hours a night if not less. Ever since that night it had been harder to sleep and when I did finally sleep I was plagued with nightmares, most just replays of what had happed.
I stood and turned my music up before I ran back the way I came, I knew not to stray too far even though it was bright and early, McGonagall was waiting for me when I got to the front of the forest. I picked up my Slytherin bag and took a rag from it to wipe the sweat from my face, neck, and chest.
"You've been running quite a lot lately Miss. Nox" she said as we walked up to the castle.
"Yeah, it helps me clear my head." I hadn't really talked to anyone since I got here except headmistress McGonagall.
"I see, and so does Quidditch?" she smiled a bit, most likely already knowing the answer.
"Yes, thank you for teaching me." I wasn't surprised that she was so good, she had worked here for so long.
"You were very easy to teach and it was quite enjoyable. Students are starting to come, one has already chosen your dorm." She stopped, turned into a cat and began heading another way. She did that often.
I sighed before I began jogging to the castle. McGonagall had already decided I would be on the Slytherin Quidditch team, I didn't have much say in the matter but I guess it would help me focus on other things rather than some things.
I walked into my dorm, so far no one was there but someone had chosen the bed opposite mine. I grabbed clothes and headed to the showers. I needed to whip up another container of various soaps but I had enough for another shower. I took my time showering, shaving, and drying myself off.
I put my hair up, lotioned myself, then dressed for the day. It was only ten when I was finished, my jog only lasted two hours and my shower only lasted one. I applied my usual make up and headed down to the library, I pulled an apple out of my bag and ate it as I walked.