0034: Unwilling Shadows - Dragon and Bombay
I don't think this one was from 
, but correct me if I'm wrong. This sucker gets a twelve out of ten under 'Stealing Harry's Thunder'.
TITLE: Unwilling Shadows
PERPETRATOR: redtiger
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Bombay and Dragon, but they call themselves Wolfwood and Andre. Yes, they're both supposed to be girls.
SPECIES: Human/Sorcerers. There is apparently a very important difference between a sorcerer and a wizard, but I don't think it's ever explained what this is.
HAIR: Bombay's is "spikey black hair." Dragon's is "blood red hair that was pulled into a high ponytail with 5 bangs hanging down infront of her eyes." Wow... exactly five, eh?
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: Dragon has a lightning-shaped scar on her cheek.
POSESSIONS: none that I saw
ORIGIN: God knows.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Protecting Harry from Voldemort, at Dumbledore's request.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Wandless magic. More powerful than Voldemort. Don't age. And there are probably more, but that's as far as I got before I had to click the 'close' button in disgust.
NOTES: Three reviews in nine chapters. There's an omen for you.
Ahem. So these two show up out of nowhere the night Harry's parents were killed and defeat Voldemort. That's right, you heard me - they defeat Voldemort, thus undermining the entire premise of the Harry Potter books. If two random 'sorcerers' showed up to kick the Dark Lord's ass, then why the hell would Harry be famous for it?
Furthermore... who the fuck is 'Albus Doubledore'? Once I could forgive as a typo, but this is every single solitairy time... and these things are just the beginning of why this fic is utterly, abysmally terrible. Read for yourself.
SAMPLE:
Disclaimer: I think that you will be able to pick out what belongs to J.K and what doesn't.
Author's Note: Okay, this is my first Harry potter fic and I have to admit and I not a big fanatic. I am actually more of an anime person (Go Kenshin!). But this had been buggin me at the back of my mind for God knows how long. I also may warn you that the Ocs you will see are far from the average un-average. The story starts out just after Voldemort had killed Harry's parents and will progress from there.
Chapter 1:
" Yes, yes, now only the boy is left." Voldemort stepped over a pile of dust, the only thing left from Lily's body. His eyes were fixed upon the infant lying on the ground, looking back at him with large emerald eyes. He raised his wand and pointed it straight at the forehead of the small boy. "Now you will die."
"Not so fast!" a voice shouted from behind him. Voldemort turned suddenly to see a girl of who looked like 16 or 17 smiling at him. She wore a black cloak that matched her spikey black hair. "Bombay." he said, in his voice was the smallest hint of fear.
"You fight should be with us and not some infant," it was a new voice now. Voldemort whipped to the right. "Who is there?!" he shouted, taking his eyes off of the other girl. Out of the shadows a large figure slipped into the light. Dressed in a cloak identical to Bombay's was another girl. She looked older, but that was only because of her facial expression. An expression of ice. She had blood red hair that was pulled into a high ponytail with 5 bangs hanging down infront of her eyes. "Dragon...." he whispered. "It is time for this bullshit to stop." She said in a dangerous voice. "You won't stop me!" he shouted and held his wand fast towards the boy's head. He shouted the curse that should have sent his life to the next world. Should have.
Bombay raised her hand and shouted a random word, "Penguin!" A huge blast of light left her palm and fired itself at him. It slammed into Voldemort's wand sending it spinning. The curse however was still erupting from it. It was an odd sight, a stick flying with green light spitting out of it. Dragon suddenly hissed so that only she could hear. The light had sliced across her cheek, causing it to bleed. Forgetting all about it however, she dove for the wand once it hit the floor. Voldemort did as well however. In a grappling match on the ground, Dragon and Vodemort fought for the wand. "You are powerless without it!" she said to him. "what are you going to do?!" he taunted, not a very could choice of action in this position.
"Banish!" she shouted as loud as she could. There was a brilliant eruption of light form her body, engulfing the whole room and more. Voldemort let out a blood curdling scream. One the light died, only Dragon, Bombay and the little boy were left. "Oh my God!" Bombay exclaimed, "look at that boy's scar!" one the little boy's forehead was a lightning shaped scar. There were suddenly sounds on the stairs and both girls jumped onto their guard. They relaxed as they saw it was only old Albus Doubledore.
"Dragon, Bombay, thank you for...." he looked around and sighed. "taking care of him." He looked to the ground, "it was too late for James and Lily though." "You knew that Doubledore but we did manage so save the kid's life." Bombay said, thumbing to the boy. "Ah, little Harry. He is so cute and WHAT IS THAT SCAR?!?!!?" he shouted. "That would be come me," Doubledore turned to Dragon, "what?" "It was an after shock after I got rid of Voldemort. It doesn't affect us, but it affected him."
"It think it affected you too," Bombay said making a line across her cheek. Dragon reached up and touched her cheek. She looked down at her fingers. They were completely bloody. "Damn, thanks a lot kid. I suppose Voldemort's curse did this to me. I guess I get a souvenir from this as well." Dragon sneered at Harry. "You are so cold Dragon," Doubledore said picking Harry up. "How can you be mad at him?" Dragon turned away. "We aren't people you can just higher like this Doubledore, you know that." Doubledore looked towards Bombay. 'She is tall!' he mouthed, it was true, Dragon did tower over both him and the other girl.
"What is going to happen to the kid now?" Bombay asked. "He is going to go live with his muggle relatives," Doubledore responded. "I hope he will be okay," Bombay said with a smile, a smile that was un-dimming. It was actually eery the way it was plastered on her face like that was the only way she knew how to hold her face.
"I couldn't care less about the kid," Dragon said. Bombay glared, "it wouldn't kill you to show a little heart." "I have no need to, we have he gang and that is that." Bombay shook her head and looked at Doubledore. "I suppose we will be going, long flight back to New York." Doubledore nodded as they disappeared through the window. "I have a feeling this isn't the last time your paths will cross," he said, cooing at baby Harry. " Nope, I have a feeling you will need them in the future."
*16 YEARS LATER*
Doubledore walked along the busy streets of New York City. He was dressed in loose muggle clothes so that he would fit in. It was summer, he was taking a bit of an excursion before the new school year started. At least that was what he had told all the teachers. He was actually looking for some very important people that he should find down this alley, he thought and turned away from the crowds and down a lonely alley. Down this alley there was no one except himself.
Doubledore stopped infront of a rundown door that belonged to a back building that looked like it could fall down at any moment. He knocked twice. There were grunts from inside but nothing more. "It is Albus Doubledore! I am here to see Dragon and Bombay!" after a moment the door opened. The old wizard found himself staring at a gigantic, Irishman, bone white hair, one amber eye showing with multiple scars. "You are looking for the bosses?" Doubledore nodded, "hello good to see you again Danny. Please show me to Dragon and Bombay." the Irishman led him into the building.
It looked like a palace on the inside, a perfect hideout. He was lead into a room with many figures gathered around a poker table. "Dragon, Bombay?" he questioned. Two figures jumped up and the rest turned. "Oh! It is just you Doubledore!" Bombay said happily, smiling at him. She was the only one smiling amongst the many other scowls and death glares. "What do you want Doubledore?" Dragon asked. Doubledore smiled, "none of you have changed." the men went back to playing cards, Danny left them along and Dragon led them into the hall.
"What is it Doubledore? Why are you here?" Doubledore chuckled lightly, reached up and patted Dragon's cheek. "You know the only thing that had changed about you Dragon is that you have that scar." he looked at Bombay, "you on the other hand look exactly the same. You both haven't aged." He spoke without a hint of surprise. There wasn't any. "What do you expect? We are sorcerers." Dragon snorted at Bombay's comment. "Most wizards are too arrogant to tell the difference." "You make it hard when you use martial arts of magic." Bombay turned to Doulbedore, "what is it this time?"
Doubledore took a deep breathe but Dragon cut him off just before he could speak. "If you say it is about Harry Potter I will hurt you." Doubledore sighed, "I hate to say that it is." Dragon let out a huge battle cry, straight from her gut that sounded more like a roar than anything else. It rattled the wall and all the men in the hideout looked up. "Damn it Doulbedore!" she shouted and slammed her fist into the wall. "I have had my men watching him since the day he was born! We watched him at the muggles' house, we watched him in Diagon alley. I have always had men wasting their time on Campus looking after him like a goddamn babysitter! They even watched him when he went to the fucking Weasleys! I am sick of hearing how I need to do something for the wizarding world, more over something for this goddamn boy! How the hell is he important?!"
"Voldemort wants to kill him." Doubledore said, a mear whisper to her furry. "I too have been feeling frustration Doulbedore," Bombay said, "I think the answer were looking for is why us? Why should we care?" Doubledore looked away, "I know you are sorcerers and you don't need to care about us mere wizards but... there are great things destined for this boy." "You have us protecting someone who is going to go down in history," Bombay said with an un-washable smile. "The most powerful people are the ones who stay in the shadows of time." Doubledore nodded, "I know but you are the only ones who can do this, after the incident two years ago.... fifth year was a normal year for all students. I have you to thank for that, for living out in the forbidden forest keeping it safe but I will offer you whatever you wish." "1 billion American dollars," Dragon said sarcastically. "Done," both Bombay and Dragon spun around to look at him. "I will give you each a billion American dollars. Even if it means my life savings." Dragon smirked, "before we accept, what is it you want us to do?"
Doubledore smiled, he knew that a sorcerer's services could always be bought with money at the last moment. "I need you too pose as students at Hogwarts in order to keep Harry Potter, along with the other students, safe from Voldemort, he is gaining power and is no longer afraid of me. He will come. He will come with his army of deatheaters. He will come." Doubledore could see the look of disgust twist on Dragon's ice cold face. "Go to school there, students?" He nodded. We have had several exchange students in the last couple years so your arrival won't be so noticed. I need you to do what you do best, blend in, become a shadow."
"It isn't that which worries me," Bombay said. "But how are we going to use a wand, we don't use magic like that, we don't need to. How will we suppress our vibes from the teachers? Will you even tell them?" Doubledore chuckled at her questions. No matter how old Bombay got she still smiled and acted carefree, even when she shouldn't. "I will get you dud wands, you can just use your sorcerery through them, I believe that you will just have to act the part because there is no way to hide your vibes and I will only be telling the teachers that two new students will be coming from America. I don't want them involved in this, they could be killed."
Dragon nodded, "I suppose it makes sense." "You will follow patterns like the other students, getting sorted, going to classes etc. You will need to work around that, I am sorry. I will however have to rarely punish you so that no one gets suspicious." Dragon waved her hand, "yes, yes, yes we get it. But I have two questions. We can't go by our real names, we will stick out and teachers will no who we are immediately, so..." "We can go by our other names," Bombay said when she say the look of confusion on Doubledore's face she explained herself. "They are names that are just as close to us as our real ones but not, I am Andre and her name is Wolfwood." Doubledore cocked an eyebrow. "Don't ask how we got them, but that is what we will use," Bombay said with a tone of finalization in her voice.
"Where do we get our "stuff" we will need to atleast see if we can find the people who will be under our eye right?" Dragon's coldness was always a shock to Doubledore even though it shouldn't be. "Go to Diagon alley, there you will be able to get your wizarding items. The train leaves September 1st, please don't miss it." the nodded and looked at him, "about the money...." "I will give you some at the end of every other week."
"Well lets go to Diagon alley," Bombay said, "long flight to London. I am sure you know the way out Doubledore." He smiled as they disappeared. "What have I gotten poor Hogwarts into?"
END OF CHAPTER 1
Author's Note: well that is the end of the first chapter and I know it started kinda slow. It will pick up rapidly in the next couple chapters. But how do you like it so far? Who is your favorite, Dragon or Bombay? Well I know that it went a little fast in this chapter but I made it that way because the details come in later and so does the real character development. Please review!
-Red Tiger
, but correct me if I'm wrong. This sucker gets a twelve out of ten under 'Stealing Harry's Thunder'.
TITLE: Unwilling Shadows
PERPETRATOR: redtiger
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Bombay and Dragon, but they call themselves Wolfwood and Andre. Yes, they're both supposed to be girls.
SPECIES: Human/Sorcerers. There is apparently a very important difference between a sorcerer and a wizard, but I don't think it's ever explained what this is.
HAIR: Bombay's is "spikey black hair." Dragon's is "blood red hair that was pulled into a high ponytail with 5 bangs hanging down infront of her eyes." Wow... exactly five, eh?
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: Dragon has a lightning-shaped scar on her cheek.
POSESSIONS: none that I saw
ORIGIN: God knows.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Protecting Harry from Voldemort, at Dumbledore's request.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Wandless magic. More powerful than Voldemort. Don't age. And there are probably more, but that's as far as I got before I had to click the 'close' button in disgust.
NOTES: Three reviews in nine chapters. There's an omen for you.
Ahem. So these two show up out of nowhere the night Harry's parents were killed and defeat Voldemort. That's right, you heard me - they defeat Voldemort, thus undermining the entire premise of the Harry Potter books. If two random 'sorcerers' showed up to kick the Dark Lord's ass, then why the hell would Harry be famous for it?
Furthermore... who the fuck is 'Albus Doubledore'? Once I could forgive as a typo, but this is every single solitairy time... and these things are just the beginning of why this fic is utterly, abysmally terrible. Read for yourself.
SAMPLE:
Disclaimer: I think that you will be able to pick out what belongs to J.K and what doesn't.
Author's Note: Okay, this is my first Harry potter fic and I have to admit and I not a big fanatic. I am actually more of an anime person (Go Kenshin!). But this had been buggin me at the back of my mind for God knows how long. I also may warn you that the Ocs you will see are far from the average un-average. The story starts out just after Voldemort had killed Harry's parents and will progress from there.
Chapter 1:
" Yes, yes, now only the boy is left." Voldemort stepped over a pile of dust, the only thing left from Lily's body. His eyes were fixed upon the infant lying on the ground, looking back at him with large emerald eyes. He raised his wand and pointed it straight at the forehead of the small boy. "Now you will die."
"Not so fast!" a voice shouted from behind him. Voldemort turned suddenly to see a girl of who looked like 16 or 17 smiling at him. She wore a black cloak that matched her spikey black hair. "Bombay." he said, in his voice was the smallest hint of fear.
"You fight should be with us and not some infant," it was a new voice now. Voldemort whipped to the right. "Who is there?!" he shouted, taking his eyes off of the other girl. Out of the shadows a large figure slipped into the light. Dressed in a cloak identical to Bombay's was another girl. She looked older, but that was only because of her facial expression. An expression of ice. She had blood red hair that was pulled into a high ponytail with 5 bangs hanging down infront of her eyes. "Dragon...." he whispered. "It is time for this bullshit to stop." She said in a dangerous voice. "You won't stop me!" he shouted and held his wand fast towards the boy's head. He shouted the curse that should have sent his life to the next world. Should have.
Bombay raised her hand and shouted a random word, "Penguin!" A huge blast of light left her palm and fired itself at him. It slammed into Voldemort's wand sending it spinning. The curse however was still erupting from it. It was an odd sight, a stick flying with green light spitting out of it. Dragon suddenly hissed so that only she could hear. The light had sliced across her cheek, causing it to bleed. Forgetting all about it however, she dove for the wand once it hit the floor. Voldemort did as well however. In a grappling match on the ground, Dragon and Vodemort fought for the wand. "You are powerless without it!" she said to him. "what are you going to do?!" he taunted, not a very could choice of action in this position.
"Banish!" she shouted as loud as she could. There was a brilliant eruption of light form her body, engulfing the whole room and more. Voldemort let out a blood curdling scream. One the light died, only Dragon, Bombay and the little boy were left. "Oh my God!" Bombay exclaimed, "look at that boy's scar!" one the little boy's forehead was a lightning shaped scar. There were suddenly sounds on the stairs and both girls jumped onto their guard. They relaxed as they saw it was only old Albus Doubledore.
"Dragon, Bombay, thank you for...." he looked around and sighed. "taking care of him." He looked to the ground, "it was too late for James and Lily though." "You knew that Doubledore but we did manage so save the kid's life." Bombay said, thumbing to the boy. "Ah, little Harry. He is so cute and WHAT IS THAT SCAR?!?!!?" he shouted. "That would be come me," Doubledore turned to Dragon, "what?" "It was an after shock after I got rid of Voldemort. It doesn't affect us, but it affected him."
"It think it affected you too," Bombay said making a line across her cheek. Dragon reached up and touched her cheek. She looked down at her fingers. They were completely bloody. "Damn, thanks a lot kid. I suppose Voldemort's curse did this to me. I guess I get a souvenir from this as well." Dragon sneered at Harry. "You are so cold Dragon," Doubledore said picking Harry up. "How can you be mad at him?" Dragon turned away. "We aren't people you can just higher like this Doubledore, you know that." Doubledore looked towards Bombay. 'She is tall!' he mouthed, it was true, Dragon did tower over both him and the other girl.
"What is going to happen to the kid now?" Bombay asked. "He is going to go live with his muggle relatives," Doubledore responded. "I hope he will be okay," Bombay said with a smile, a smile that was un-dimming. It was actually eery the way it was plastered on her face like that was the only way she knew how to hold her face.
"I couldn't care less about the kid," Dragon said. Bombay glared, "it wouldn't kill you to show a little heart." "I have no need to, we have he gang and that is that." Bombay shook her head and looked at Doubledore. "I suppose we will be going, long flight back to New York." Doubledore nodded as they disappeared through the window. "I have a feeling this isn't the last time your paths will cross," he said, cooing at baby Harry. " Nope, I have a feeling you will need them in the future."
*16 YEARS LATER*
Doubledore walked along the busy streets of New York City. He was dressed in loose muggle clothes so that he would fit in. It was summer, he was taking a bit of an excursion before the new school year started. At least that was what he had told all the teachers. He was actually looking for some very important people that he should find down this alley, he thought and turned away from the crowds and down a lonely alley. Down this alley there was no one except himself.
Doubledore stopped infront of a rundown door that belonged to a back building that looked like it could fall down at any moment. He knocked twice. There were grunts from inside but nothing more. "It is Albus Doubledore! I am here to see Dragon and Bombay!" after a moment the door opened. The old wizard found himself staring at a gigantic, Irishman, bone white hair, one amber eye showing with multiple scars. "You are looking for the bosses?" Doubledore nodded, "hello good to see you again Danny. Please show me to Dragon and Bombay." the Irishman led him into the building.
It looked like a palace on the inside, a perfect hideout. He was lead into a room with many figures gathered around a poker table. "Dragon, Bombay?" he questioned. Two figures jumped up and the rest turned. "Oh! It is just you Doubledore!" Bombay said happily, smiling at him. She was the only one smiling amongst the many other scowls and death glares. "What do you want Doubledore?" Dragon asked. Doubledore smiled, "none of you have changed." the men went back to playing cards, Danny left them along and Dragon led them into the hall.
"What is it Doubledore? Why are you here?" Doubledore chuckled lightly, reached up and patted Dragon's cheek. "You know the only thing that had changed about you Dragon is that you have that scar." he looked at Bombay, "you on the other hand look exactly the same. You both haven't aged." He spoke without a hint of surprise. There wasn't any. "What do you expect? We are sorcerers." Dragon snorted at Bombay's comment. "Most wizards are too arrogant to tell the difference." "You make it hard when you use martial arts of magic." Bombay turned to Doulbedore, "what is it this time?"
Doubledore took a deep breathe but Dragon cut him off just before he could speak. "If you say it is about Harry Potter I will hurt you." Doubledore sighed, "I hate to say that it is." Dragon let out a huge battle cry, straight from her gut that sounded more like a roar than anything else. It rattled the wall and all the men in the hideout looked up. "Damn it Doulbedore!" she shouted and slammed her fist into the wall. "I have had my men watching him since the day he was born! We watched him at the muggles' house, we watched him in Diagon alley. I have always had men wasting their time on Campus looking after him like a goddamn babysitter! They even watched him when he went to the fucking Weasleys! I am sick of hearing how I need to do something for the wizarding world, more over something for this goddamn boy! How the hell is he important?!"
"Voldemort wants to kill him." Doubledore said, a mear whisper to her furry. "I too have been feeling frustration Doulbedore," Bombay said, "I think the answer were looking for is why us? Why should we care?" Doubledore looked away, "I know you are sorcerers and you don't need to care about us mere wizards but... there are great things destined for this boy." "You have us protecting someone who is going to go down in history," Bombay said with an un-washable smile. "The most powerful people are the ones who stay in the shadows of time." Doubledore nodded, "I know but you are the only ones who can do this, after the incident two years ago.... fifth year was a normal year for all students. I have you to thank for that, for living out in the forbidden forest keeping it safe but I will offer you whatever you wish." "1 billion American dollars," Dragon said sarcastically. "Done," both Bombay and Dragon spun around to look at him. "I will give you each a billion American dollars. Even if it means my life savings." Dragon smirked, "before we accept, what is it you want us to do?"
Doubledore smiled, he knew that a sorcerer's services could always be bought with money at the last moment. "I need you too pose as students at Hogwarts in order to keep Harry Potter, along with the other students, safe from Voldemort, he is gaining power and is no longer afraid of me. He will come. He will come with his army of deatheaters. He will come." Doubledore could see the look of disgust twist on Dragon's ice cold face. "Go to school there, students?" He nodded. We have had several exchange students in the last couple years so your arrival won't be so noticed. I need you to do what you do best, blend in, become a shadow."
"It isn't that which worries me," Bombay said. "But how are we going to use a wand, we don't use magic like that, we don't need to. How will we suppress our vibes from the teachers? Will you even tell them?" Doubledore chuckled at her questions. No matter how old Bombay got she still smiled and acted carefree, even when she shouldn't. "I will get you dud wands, you can just use your sorcerery through them, I believe that you will just have to act the part because there is no way to hide your vibes and I will only be telling the teachers that two new students will be coming from America. I don't want them involved in this, they could be killed."
Dragon nodded, "I suppose it makes sense." "You will follow patterns like the other students, getting sorted, going to classes etc. You will need to work around that, I am sorry. I will however have to rarely punish you so that no one gets suspicious." Dragon waved her hand, "yes, yes, yes we get it. But I have two questions. We can't go by our real names, we will stick out and teachers will no who we are immediately, so..." "We can go by our other names," Bombay said when she say the look of confusion on Doubledore's face she explained herself. "They are names that are just as close to us as our real ones but not, I am Andre and her name is Wolfwood." Doubledore cocked an eyebrow. "Don't ask how we got them, but that is what we will use," Bombay said with a tone of finalization in her voice.
"Where do we get our "stuff" we will need to atleast see if we can find the people who will be under our eye right?" Dragon's coldness was always a shock to Doubledore even though it shouldn't be. "Go to Diagon alley, there you will be able to get your wizarding items. The train leaves September 1st, please don't miss it." the nodded and looked at him, "about the money...." "I will give you some at the end of every other week."
"Well lets go to Diagon alley," Bombay said, "long flight to London. I am sure you know the way out Doubledore." He smiled as they disappeared. "What have I gotten poor Hogwarts into?"
END OF CHAPTER 1
Author's Note: well that is the end of the first chapter and I know it started kinda slow. It will pick up rapidly in the next couple chapters. But how do you like it so far? Who is your favorite, Dragon or Bombay? Well I know that it went a little fast in this chapter but I made it that way because the details come in later and so does the real character development. Please review!
-Red Tiger