(no subject)
Here is day one of “All in the Summary” where the name of the Sue is in the summary. No, I'm not counting yesterdays entry in with this weeks. That also said, I'm hoping the entries are more interesting then yesterdays.
TITLE: Gypsy Magic: The Yoska Freska Chronicles
PERPETRATOR: Kami2015
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a clip of their avatar, which happens to be the Green Lanturn.
FULL NAME: Yoska Frescka
SPECIES: He is a Roma/Gypsy as well as a Ravenclaw.
HAIR: He has black hair.
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: He has bronze skin.
POSSESSIONS: He has a “brazen earring”.
CONNECTION TO CANON: The writer's trying to make us think the reason he's getting beat up is because of his race as well as the fact he is Muggle Born. The real reason he's getting beaten up is because he's good at Quiditch and they want to get rid of him so their team would actually have an advantage. He then finds himself rescued by Professor Snape. The stories pretty much him running about around Hogwarts and flashbacks about Yoska's life. It's... well, all about Yoska. I believe the girl he's supposed to be winning over is Cho.
ORIGIN: Apparently we're supposed to sympathize with Yoska because “...if he does not fit in with the pure bloods why not the Muggle born students...”, “surely they accept him as one of their own, a new comer to the world of magic. “ This falls flat though due o the fact Gypsy's have their own form of magic and because the writer is mislabeling his character as Muggleborn.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “With his alternative Gypsy magic and quick wit Yoska has a lot of tricks up his sleeves! It will take more than Gypsy charm though to help him win the girl and save the world! “ Why isn't he being home schooled then? This seems like one of the reasons people didn't send their kids to Hogwarts more then anything. He's also really smart and really good at spots. We learn in chapter t wo that he is the Valedictorian of the class of 1991 and Snape wants him to be his sucessor.
NOTES: Sorry, but no. If the Gypsy have their own unique form of magic they can not be called Muggleborn. I think that is the biggest problem with the story... the insistence that the character is Muggleborn when he is not.
SAMPLE:
So for the young wizard there exists twin targets on his back. Being Muggle born was a good way to anger some of the conservative wizarding families, but being a Romani wizard was unheard of. It sparks hatred on both a racial and magical level. Yoska despite being intelligent, athletic, and gifted in a variety of magical fields was doomed to a life of hardships. He is the hero of this little story, and his actions would come to impact the wizarding world in crucial way.
Our story begins on a relatively normal day for Yoska. He is making his way toward the dungeons for another round of potions with the Hufflepuffs. His black robes whip behind him as he descends into the damp darkness of Professor Snape's lair. A few of his teammates offer him a quick hello and quickly move on to their own lessens. They do not want to be seen with him for too long. Yoska smiles and takes no offense, knowing that the affection of his teammates can be found on the practice fields tonight. Not in the magnificent corridors of Hogwarts.
"Hey Yoska!" A burly voice calls out to his backside, "Where you going Gyppo?"
Yoska smiles and turns to face his challenger. No surprise it is Marcus Flint, captain Chaser of the Slytherin team. His muscles seem to want to rip their way out his emerald captain robes. It was technically against school policy to wear their uniforms any day besides game day but clearly the fifth year didn't care. Behind him are a pair of his seventh year Beaters, two equally thick and nasty looking boys.
"Sastipe," Yoska greets in Romani, "How are you Flint? Arm healing after your game against Wood's team?"
"Don't give me your Gyppo crap," Flint spits, "Why don't you jus' speak English like everyone else?"
"Why so hostile?" Yoska asks. He moves some of his long black hair out of his face, "No reason we can't be friends, I mean we're both captains after all. We should set an example for out teams."
"Not on your life Gyppo. I just got to thinking," Marcus pauses and motions for his two Beaters to flank Yoska.
The Roma wizard just keeps smiling at his advisory. Some girls claim (when anyone of social standing is out of earshot of course) that he must use a whitening spell to keep them so perfect. They make for a good contrast on his dark skin and it serves to further make Flint grow red in the face. His hand moves into his robes casually.
"Yes Flint?" Yoska kindly asks, "What's on your mind my friend?"
"Your team's undefeated this year isn't it?" Marcus asks while indistinctly giving his teammates hand signs, "Some are even saying that Ravenclaw might even take the cup this year. It would ruin our five year streak."
"Why yes we beat Gryffindor and Hufflepuff in our first two matches," Yoska tells him while keeping up an upbeat smile. "They were good matches; I barely had time grab the Snitch from Wood's seeker. It was neck and neck. Good kid, shame he's graduating this year. I can't wait for our teams to play each other again; last year's match at the finals was so close."
TITLE: Gypsy Magic: The Yoska Freska Chronicles
PERPETRATOR: Kami2015
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a clip of their avatar, which happens to be the Green Lanturn.
FULL NAME: Yoska Frescka
SPECIES: He is a Roma/Gypsy as well as a Ravenclaw.
HAIR: He has black hair.
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: He has bronze skin.
POSSESSIONS: He has a “brazen earring”.
CONNECTION TO CANON: The writer's trying to make us think the reason he's getting beat up is because of his race as well as the fact he is Muggle Born. The real reason he's getting beaten up is because he's good at Quiditch and they want to get rid of him so their team would actually have an advantage. He then finds himself rescued by Professor Snape. The stories pretty much him running about around Hogwarts and flashbacks about Yoska's life. It's... well, all about Yoska. I believe the girl he's supposed to be winning over is Cho.
ORIGIN: Apparently we're supposed to sympathize with Yoska because “...if he does not fit in with the pure bloods why not the Muggle born students...”, “surely they accept him as one of their own, a new comer to the world of magic. “ This falls flat though due o the fact Gypsy's have their own form of magic and because the writer is mislabeling his character as Muggleborn.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “With his alternative Gypsy magic and quick wit Yoska has a lot of tricks up his sleeves! It will take more than Gypsy charm though to help him win the girl and save the world! “ Why isn't he being home schooled then? This seems like one of the reasons people didn't send their kids to Hogwarts more then anything. He's also really smart and really good at spots. We learn in chapter t wo that he is the Valedictorian of the class of 1991 and Snape wants him to be his sucessor.
NOTES: Sorry, but no. If the Gypsy have their own unique form of magic they can not be called Muggleborn. I think that is the biggest problem with the story... the insistence that the character is Muggleborn when he is not.
SAMPLE:
So for the young wizard there exists twin targets on his back. Being Muggle born was a good way to anger some of the conservative wizarding families, but being a Romani wizard was unheard of. It sparks hatred on both a racial and magical level. Yoska despite being intelligent, athletic, and gifted in a variety of magical fields was doomed to a life of hardships. He is the hero of this little story, and his actions would come to impact the wizarding world in crucial way.
Our story begins on a relatively normal day for Yoska. He is making his way toward the dungeons for another round of potions with the Hufflepuffs. His black robes whip behind him as he descends into the damp darkness of Professor Snape's lair. A few of his teammates offer him a quick hello and quickly move on to their own lessens. They do not want to be seen with him for too long. Yoska smiles and takes no offense, knowing that the affection of his teammates can be found on the practice fields tonight. Not in the magnificent corridors of Hogwarts.
"Hey Yoska!" A burly voice calls out to his backside, "Where you going Gyppo?"
Yoska smiles and turns to face his challenger. No surprise it is Marcus Flint, captain Chaser of the Slytherin team. His muscles seem to want to rip their way out his emerald captain robes. It was technically against school policy to wear their uniforms any day besides game day but clearly the fifth year didn't care. Behind him are a pair of his seventh year Beaters, two equally thick and nasty looking boys.
"Sastipe," Yoska greets in Romani, "How are you Flint? Arm healing after your game against Wood's team?"
"Don't give me your Gyppo crap," Flint spits, "Why don't you jus' speak English like everyone else?"
"Why so hostile?" Yoska asks. He moves some of his long black hair out of his face, "No reason we can't be friends, I mean we're both captains after all. We should set an example for out teams."
"Not on your life Gyppo. I just got to thinking," Marcus pauses and motions for his two Beaters to flank Yoska.
The Roma wizard just keeps smiling at his advisory. Some girls claim (when anyone of social standing is out of earshot of course) that he must use a whitening spell to keep them so perfect. They make for a good contrast on his dark skin and it serves to further make Flint grow red in the face. His hand moves into his robes casually.
"Yes Flint?" Yoska kindly asks, "What's on your mind my friend?"
"Your team's undefeated this year isn't it?" Marcus asks while indistinctly giving his teammates hand signs, "Some are even saying that Ravenclaw might even take the cup this year. It would ruin our five year streak."
"Why yes we beat Gryffindor and Hufflepuff in our first two matches," Yoska tells him while keeping up an upbeat smile. "They were good matches; I barely had time grab the Snitch from Wood's seeker. It was neck and neck. Good kid, shame he's graduating this year. I can't wait for our teams to play each other again; last year's match at the finals was so close."