0013: Harry Potter and the Heiress of Slytherin - Elisabeth Riddle
Once again, sorry for being late. This internet thing is really getting annoying.
TITLE: Harry Potter and the Heiress of Slytherin
PERPETRATOR: Lady of Hogwarts
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Elisabeth Riddle, called Buffy (*twitch*)
SPECIES: Half Vampire/Witch
HAIR: 'golden hair'; another MS in a tinsel wig
EYES: 'her father's green eyes'
MARKINGS: none so far
POSESSIONS: A wand she apparently doesn't need. *sob*
ORIGIN: The pits of hell.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She's supposed to be Voldemort's half-vampire daughter or granddaughter (the fic seems to suggest both... maybe Voldemort took a page from mistranslated!Rezo's?). She's also supposed to be... well, Buffy. Y'know. The Vampire Slayer. Raised by Lucius Malfoy. The Death Eaters 'worship her like a goddess.' She ordered the attack on the Muggles at the Quidditch World Cup.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Oy vey, where to begin? She has all the strengths of vampires and none of their weaknesses (it actually says this in the text), could cast the Cruciatus curse at the age of 11. She's talented at martial arts. Wandless magic. A parselmouth.
NOTES: Feel my pain, people.
When you see a fic entitled Harry Potter and the Heiress of Slytherin, you know right away that no good can possibly come of this. Add in the fact that it's (a) a challenge fic, and (b) a Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover, and you get a recipe for pure torment that rivals the Cruciatus curse.
The story starts with Chapter Two. The second chapter, which explains much of what makes you go 'WTF?!' in the first, is Chapter One. Since this hasn't been fixed, I assume either the author is a complete moron or else it was done on purpose... if the latter, then whatever she was trying to accomplish (unless, of course, it was confusing the hell out of us) didn't work.
For such a completely absurd and disgusting premise, the fic doesn't start off too badly, writing-wise. The first four paragraphs, despite the blatant Sueness, are reasonably well-written and nicely descriptive. Then, unfortunately, everything goes straight to hell.
The rest of the first chapter (which is chapter two, remember) is all one long paragraph, without breaks when a new person speaks. The second chapter (which is chapter one) goes back to being non-eye-watering again. The third chapter (which, miracle of miracles, is actually chapter three!) has a new paragraph for every bloody sentence. *sobs*
At the end of chapter three, there's an author's note saying that this fic will not be Buffy/Angel. It will be either Buffy/Harry or Buffy/Draco. And every single chapter opens with a set of notes explaining what's going on in the fic. I suppose this is a good thing, since nobody would be able to tell otherwise.
SAMPLE:
Challenge: Buffy was born a slayer or a 1/2 vampire and she is Voldemort's daughter.
She is evil (there is no Faith).
She somehow ends up at Hogwarts
Jennifer (the challenge writer) also demands that Buffy remain evil or maybe it was turning good. I won't tell you that yet!
Warnings: Well spoilers for all 4 HP books, and BtVS season 1.
Story line changes: Angelus was never cursed, but Darla left him in 1950's.
Voldemort had a daughter (You will see that as you read the fic)
Disclaimers: The Harry Potter characters and places belong to J K Rowling. And the BtVS characters belong to Joss Weldon!
Summery: Voldemort has a daughter, who's half-vampire and an extremely powerful sorceress. And after her father's fall his most faithful Death Eater raised her in secrecy to be their queen, and only a select few know about her existence, which was a very well kept secret. (look at the challenge)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
HARRY POTTER AND THE HEIRESS OF SLYTHERIN
Chapter 2: Childhood
As the years passed by Buffy received the best tutoring available and proved to have just as much power as her father if not more. At the age of eleven she was able to cast her first cucio curse. And the Death Eaters worshiped her like a goddess. She was filled with energy and always had been, her favourite subjects ware duelling, transfiguration, dark art and martial arts.
Elisabeth was very well isolated form the outside world, she only meet the few Death Eaters that knew about her and vampires. Which all seemed to see her as a princess, probably because of her grandfather. Which she only had met once when she went to visit him on the hell mouth. The master had then taken an instant liking to the girl and given her the nickname Buffy which had stuck with her since he was the only one that didn't call her 'my lady'.
The fact that she was half-vampire had not affected her in any negative way, she had none of their allergies or urges, only their strength, speed and reflexes. She was also a paselmouth like her father or any other true Slytherin heir/heiress. However she didn't look much like Voldemort, instead she had inherited her mother's petit figure and golden hair, though she did have her father's green eyes. Buffy had always been a beautiful site, with a look of pure innocence, which often worked to her advantage.
When she reached the age of 14 she ordered her first Death Eaters attack, which she had planed carefully for the Quidditch world cup final. But something happened and that not planned. Someone had sent up the dark mark on the sky, which had given the attack an even more attention, much to Buffy's enjoyment. However she had not been pleased when she found out that this had caused her Death Eaters to run away. And this had caused her father's faithful Death Eaters a lot of pain.
But then about year later, the same evening as the final task in the tri- wizard tournament had taken place, her most loyal Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy, as well as every other Death Eater, had felt his lord calling. But much to Buffy's annoyance she had not been able to follow them to her father. But after an entire evening of suspense Lucius returned along with a snake like creature and a long beautiful snake, which rather got more of Buffy's attention then the creature that walked in front of Lucius. But soon her attention went to the man when he didn't bow down to her as everyone else Lucius had bought to her had. And she spoke up with a superior voice, "Who or rather what are you?" the thing chuckled at her attitude, "I am lord Voldemort, your father" Buffy looked over at Lucius for confirmation, and the man simply nodded in response. This was enough for Buffy to believe him and smiled at her father, "Welcome home." Then she slowly walked up closer to him and looked into his red eyes, raised her hand and asked, "May I?" Voldemort didn't know what she was going to do but nodded none the less. And so she waved her hand in front of him, and the snake creature turned into the rather handsome middle-aged dark lord he had been before his encounter with Harry Potter. As he saw his own change he looked shocked, and she smiled, "I prefer this look, not that I don't like snakes. But I rather have a human looking father" The man smiled slightly and then waved to the Death Eaters in the room to leave, causing some to look over at Buffy for confirmation, and she nodded. At this her father once again looked surprised and when they were gone he asked, "They fare your anger more then mine?" And Buffy grinned, "I don't take disobedience very well." She then gestured for to her throne, "Have a seat father" he did as she had suggested and she walked up next to him and transformed a table into an almost identical throne, the only difference was that her new one was in white gold instead of the normal gold that the other was in. And with that she sat down next to him. However this time Voldemort took notice to something he hadn't when she gave him his old appearance back, "You don't need a wand?" "Only to the unforgivables, they hurt to canal through the arm." "I knew you would be powerful, but never would I have thought I would have sorceress" Buffy looked at him questioning, "Dumbledore is a sorcerer, they aren't that unusual." "Elisabeth, a normal sorcerer or sorceress can only do simple magic with out a wand. And you say you can throw the unforgivables" "It's Buffy" "What?" asked the dark lord with confusion written all over his face. "Don't call me Elisabeth. Granddad calls me Buffy. I like that better" "Granddad?" "The master. We have been owling each other for the last five years" Voldemort reluctantly nodded.
Tbc..
Please don't forget to review!!!!
I want to know what you all think!!!
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!
"There is no Faith." Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know about you, but I'm certainly losing my faith reading this shit.
TITLE: Harry Potter and the Heiress of Slytherin
PERPETRATOR: Lady of Hogwarts
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Elisabeth Riddle, called Buffy (*twitch*)
SPECIES: Half Vampire/Witch
HAIR: 'golden hair'; another MS in a tinsel wig
EYES: 'her father's green eyes'
MARKINGS: none so far
POSESSIONS: A wand she apparently doesn't need. *sob*
ORIGIN: The pits of hell.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She's supposed to be Voldemort's half-vampire daughter or granddaughter (the fic seems to suggest both... maybe Voldemort took a page from mistranslated!Rezo's?). She's also supposed to be... well, Buffy. Y'know. The Vampire Slayer. Raised by Lucius Malfoy. The Death Eaters 'worship her like a goddess.' She ordered the attack on the Muggles at the Quidditch World Cup.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Oy vey, where to begin? She has all the strengths of vampires and none of their weaknesses (it actually says this in the text), could cast the Cruciatus curse at the age of 11. She's talented at martial arts. Wandless magic. A parselmouth.
NOTES: Feel my pain, people.
When you see a fic entitled Harry Potter and the Heiress of Slytherin, you know right away that no good can possibly come of this. Add in the fact that it's (a) a challenge fic, and (b) a Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover, and you get a recipe for pure torment that rivals the Cruciatus curse.
The story starts with Chapter Two. The second chapter, which explains much of what makes you go 'WTF?!' in the first, is Chapter One. Since this hasn't been fixed, I assume either the author is a complete moron or else it was done on purpose... if the latter, then whatever she was trying to accomplish (unless, of course, it was confusing the hell out of us) didn't work.
For such a completely absurd and disgusting premise, the fic doesn't start off too badly, writing-wise. The first four paragraphs, despite the blatant Sueness, are reasonably well-written and nicely descriptive. Then, unfortunately, everything goes straight to hell.
The rest of the first chapter (which is chapter two, remember) is all one long paragraph, without breaks when a new person speaks. The second chapter (which is chapter one) goes back to being non-eye-watering again. The third chapter (which, miracle of miracles, is actually chapter three!) has a new paragraph for every bloody sentence. *sobs*
At the end of chapter three, there's an author's note saying that this fic will not be Buffy/Angel. It will be either Buffy/Harry or Buffy/Draco. And every single chapter opens with a set of notes explaining what's going on in the fic. I suppose this is a good thing, since nobody would be able to tell otherwise.
SAMPLE:
Challenge: Buffy was born a slayer or a 1/2 vampire and she is Voldemort's daughter.
She is evil (there is no Faith).
She somehow ends up at Hogwarts
Jennifer (the challenge writer) also demands that Buffy remain evil or maybe it was turning good. I won't tell you that yet!
Warnings: Well spoilers for all 4 HP books, and BtVS season 1.
Story line changes: Angelus was never cursed, but Darla left him in 1950's.
Voldemort had a daughter (You will see that as you read the fic)
Disclaimers: The Harry Potter characters and places belong to J K Rowling. And the BtVS characters belong to Joss Weldon!
Summery: Voldemort has a daughter, who's half-vampire and an extremely powerful sorceress. And after her father's fall his most faithful Death Eater raised her in secrecy to be their queen, and only a select few know about her existence, which was a very well kept secret. (look at the challenge)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
HARRY POTTER AND THE HEIRESS OF SLYTHERIN
Chapter 2: Childhood
As the years passed by Buffy received the best tutoring available and proved to have just as much power as her father if not more. At the age of eleven she was able to cast her first cucio curse. And the Death Eaters worshiped her like a goddess. She was filled with energy and always had been, her favourite subjects ware duelling, transfiguration, dark art and martial arts.
Elisabeth was very well isolated form the outside world, she only meet the few Death Eaters that knew about her and vampires. Which all seemed to see her as a princess, probably because of her grandfather. Which she only had met once when she went to visit him on the hell mouth. The master had then taken an instant liking to the girl and given her the nickname Buffy which had stuck with her since he was the only one that didn't call her 'my lady'.
The fact that she was half-vampire had not affected her in any negative way, she had none of their allergies or urges, only their strength, speed and reflexes. She was also a paselmouth like her father or any other true Slytherin heir/heiress. However she didn't look much like Voldemort, instead she had inherited her mother's petit figure and golden hair, though she did have her father's green eyes. Buffy had always been a beautiful site, with a look of pure innocence, which often worked to her advantage.
When she reached the age of 14 she ordered her first Death Eaters attack, which she had planed carefully for the Quidditch world cup final. But something happened and that not planned. Someone had sent up the dark mark on the sky, which had given the attack an even more attention, much to Buffy's enjoyment. However she had not been pleased when she found out that this had caused her Death Eaters to run away. And this had caused her father's faithful Death Eaters a lot of pain.
But then about year later, the same evening as the final task in the tri- wizard tournament had taken place, her most loyal Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy, as well as every other Death Eater, had felt his lord calling. But much to Buffy's annoyance she had not been able to follow them to her father. But after an entire evening of suspense Lucius returned along with a snake like creature and a long beautiful snake, which rather got more of Buffy's attention then the creature that walked in front of Lucius. But soon her attention went to the man when he didn't bow down to her as everyone else Lucius had bought to her had. And she spoke up with a superior voice, "Who or rather what are you?" the thing chuckled at her attitude, "I am lord Voldemort, your father" Buffy looked over at Lucius for confirmation, and the man simply nodded in response. This was enough for Buffy to believe him and smiled at her father, "Welcome home." Then she slowly walked up closer to him and looked into his red eyes, raised her hand and asked, "May I?" Voldemort didn't know what she was going to do but nodded none the less. And so she waved her hand in front of him, and the snake creature turned into the rather handsome middle-aged dark lord he had been before his encounter with Harry Potter. As he saw his own change he looked shocked, and she smiled, "I prefer this look, not that I don't like snakes. But I rather have a human looking father" The man smiled slightly and then waved to the Death Eaters in the room to leave, causing some to look over at Buffy for confirmation, and she nodded. At this her father once again looked surprised and when they were gone he asked, "They fare your anger more then mine?" And Buffy grinned, "I don't take disobedience very well." She then gestured for to her throne, "Have a seat father" he did as she had suggested and she walked up next to him and transformed a table into an almost identical throne, the only difference was that her new one was in white gold instead of the normal gold that the other was in. And with that she sat down next to him. However this time Voldemort took notice to something he hadn't when she gave him his old appearance back, "You don't need a wand?" "Only to the unforgivables, they hurt to canal through the arm." "I knew you would be powerful, but never would I have thought I would have sorceress" Buffy looked at him questioning, "Dumbledore is a sorcerer, they aren't that unusual." "Elisabeth, a normal sorcerer or sorceress can only do simple magic with out a wand. And you say you can throw the unforgivables" "It's Buffy" "What?" asked the dark lord with confusion written all over his face. "Don't call me Elisabeth. Granddad calls me Buffy. I like that better" "Granddad?" "The master. We have been owling each other for the last five years" Voldemort reluctantly nodded.
Tbc..
Please don't forget to review!!!!
I want to know what you all think!!!
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!
"There is no Faith." Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know about you, but I'm certainly losing my faith reading this shit.