0012: The Faery Who Stole the Serpent's Heart - Aurora Inwé
Tomorrow I have to get up at an hour that shouldn't even be allowed to exist. Between that, my computer's refusal to connect to the internet before 9:00, and the fact that tomorrow is Bermuda Shorts Day (AKA It's The End Of Term, Everybody Get Smashed Day), I figured I'd better post tomorrow's Sue now.
TITLE: The Faery Who Stole the Serpent's Heart
PERPETRATOR: Snapes Angel
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Aurora Inwé
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'Gold'. Repeatedly gold. I wonder if it looks like one of those tinsel wigs.
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none so far
POSESSIONS: none so far
ORIGIN: McGonagall's granddaughter.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Oh, boy. Snape is falling for her, she's best friends with Blaise Zabini, Susan Bones, Hermione, and somebody named Sally-Ann Perks whom I don't seem to recall from the books - I think she's there just to burst into tears upon finding out that her crush, Professor Lupin, is gay (gee, never heard that before... *rolls eyes*).
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can sing and play the piano... heck, she can conjure up a fucking piano in the middle of the common room! And then she can get everybody dancing to ABBA. My brain hurts.
NOTES: That's right. The Faery Who Stole the Serpent's Heart. I wish to god I could make this stuff up! And please, people... 'Blaise' is a boy's name. Is this a difficult concept?
As somebody who counts MPreg among her guilty pleasures, I probably should not complain about anything squicking me, but the idea of Snape getting involved with a third-year student... *SHUDDER* There's a word for this, folks - it's 'statutory rape.' The only time Alan Rickman can get away with hitting on underage girls is in Sense and Sensibility, and that's because Kate Winslet annoys me enough to deserve creepy old men hitting on her. In fact, Kate Winslet annoys me enough that I think sweet old Colenol Brandon deserves better.
Okay, deep breath, stay focussed. I'm here to bitch about a Mary-Sue, not about bad acting. Right.
As far as I can tell, by Chapter Five the fact that Our Heroine is McGonagall's granddaughter has had absolutely no effect on the plot, besides giving the little brat an excuse to already know Snape and Lupin. And a very short scene in which McGonagall is all Warm and Grandmotherly in ways I find rather hard to imagine.
McGonagall, however, is right in character compared to Snape. Among this fic's many faults is the fact that it constantly switches point of view... I think the author believes this is okay because Snape's parts are all in bold while Aurora's are normal. Sorry, dear, but it's still confusing as hell. And half of what Snape is supposedly thinking could be straight out of a porn novel. He talks about 'the lover's kiss potion' (*snort*) and 'I was planning to make her hunger for me.' Yup, Severus Snape, Mad Seducer.
SAMPLE:
After that first morning the weeks rolled on and soon we were about six months into the term. I was heading to the seventh year common room. Dumbldore had decided that to promote inter house relationships he would give the seventh years their own common room. This, of course, suited us fine. As I walked in I was greeted by the sight of Blaise kissing Terry Boot. The two of them had been flirting since we got back to school. I shook my head as I went and sat next to Harry and Ron.
"Hi Aurora." Said Ron.
"Hi." I said cheerfully.
"Here come the girls." Said Harry motioning towards Ginny and Hermione.
The room was now just about full with most of our year. In the middle of the floor was a dancing area, Ginny tugged at Harry's sleeve and said:
"We have to get some music going. I'm in a dancing mood."
"Yeah that would be great." Agreed Hermione. Then an idea dawned across her face.
"Aurora you can sing, I've heard you in the potions lab."
"Really? Go on Aurora. Please." Begged the youngest Weasly.
I signed and said:
"Oh, All right then."
I got up and conjured up a piano. Everyone watched as I sat down, my brow furrowed with concentration. I smiled as I began to play 'Dancing Queen' By ABBA. To my amazement nearly everyone was up dancing.
I heard music, and laughter. It was late, not after curfew, but late all the same. The music was intoxicating, I knew who it was immediately. When I opened the common room door I was greeted by a mass of dancing teenagers. In the middle of the floor stationed at a piano was Aurora. Her blonde hair falling around her face as she played. This was the perfect opportunity, I'd been waiting for a chance to get her alone all year. I walked forward through the dancers to my unsuspecting target.
I grabbed one of her wrists as she turned and said:
"Hey what do you think you're…" She stopped and looked at me, utter horror across her face.
"Get up" I said softly. She obeyed still looking at me with those terrified eyes.
"Everyone out" I commanded.
The room emptied quickly, the only people left were Aurora's group of friends.
"Professor please…"
"Silence, I believe, Zabini , I told everyone to leave."
"But Professor…"
"Get out!" I watched as they reluctantly left.
I was alone with her, I realised I was still holding on to that delicate wrist.
"Professor you're hurting me." She whispered.
I let go, appalled at myself.
"Aurora, are you all right?" I asked. She merely nodded her eyes to the floor.
I gently tilted her chin up and looked into those angelic eyes. I pressed my lips against hers. When I pulled away she looked at me questioningly. I lent in and she closed her eyes in preparation.
"Detention and twenty points from Gryffindor." I said as I turned and walked away.
I stared at him in disbelief, I was still reeling from the kiss. Had it been a kiss? I didn't even know. I watched him leave and I shouted:
"Why you rotten, deceitful…"
"That will be a further ten points I'm afraid Miss Inwé."
He smiled at me as I stood there gaping at him.
"If it's any consolation, you have no idea how beautiful you look right now." He said as he swept out of the room.
TITLE: The Faery Who Stole the Serpent's Heart
PERPETRATOR: Snapes Angel
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Aurora Inwé
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'Gold'. Repeatedly gold. I wonder if it looks like one of those tinsel wigs.
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none so far
POSESSIONS: none so far
ORIGIN: McGonagall's granddaughter.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Oh, boy. Snape is falling for her, she's best friends with Blaise Zabini, Susan Bones, Hermione, and somebody named Sally-Ann Perks whom I don't seem to recall from the books - I think she's there just to burst into tears upon finding out that her crush, Professor Lupin, is gay (gee, never heard that before... *rolls eyes*).
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can sing and play the piano... heck, she can conjure up a fucking piano in the middle of the common room! And then she can get everybody dancing to ABBA. My brain hurts.
NOTES: That's right. The Faery Who Stole the Serpent's Heart. I wish to god I could make this stuff up! And please, people... 'Blaise' is a boy's name. Is this a difficult concept?
As somebody who counts MPreg among her guilty pleasures, I probably should not complain about anything squicking me, but the idea of Snape getting involved with a third-year student... *SHUDDER* There's a word for this, folks - it's 'statutory rape.' The only time Alan Rickman can get away with hitting on underage girls is in Sense and Sensibility, and that's because Kate Winslet annoys me enough to deserve creepy old men hitting on her. In fact, Kate Winslet annoys me enough that I think sweet old Colenol Brandon deserves better.
Okay, deep breath, stay focussed. I'm here to bitch about a Mary-Sue, not about bad acting. Right.
As far as I can tell, by Chapter Five the fact that Our Heroine is McGonagall's granddaughter has had absolutely no effect on the plot, besides giving the little brat an excuse to already know Snape and Lupin. And a very short scene in which McGonagall is all Warm and Grandmotherly in ways I find rather hard to imagine.
McGonagall, however, is right in character compared to Snape. Among this fic's many faults is the fact that it constantly switches point of view... I think the author believes this is okay because Snape's parts are all in bold while Aurora's are normal. Sorry, dear, but it's still confusing as hell. And half of what Snape is supposedly thinking could be straight out of a porn novel. He talks about 'the lover's kiss potion' (*snort*) and 'I was planning to make her hunger for me.' Yup, Severus Snape, Mad Seducer.
SAMPLE:
After that first morning the weeks rolled on and soon we were about six months into the term. I was heading to the seventh year common room. Dumbldore had decided that to promote inter house relationships he would give the seventh years their own common room. This, of course, suited us fine. As I walked in I was greeted by the sight of Blaise kissing Terry Boot. The two of them had been flirting since we got back to school. I shook my head as I went and sat next to Harry and Ron.
"Hi Aurora." Said Ron.
"Hi." I said cheerfully.
"Here come the girls." Said Harry motioning towards Ginny and Hermione.
The room was now just about full with most of our year. In the middle of the floor was a dancing area, Ginny tugged at Harry's sleeve and said:
"We have to get some music going. I'm in a dancing mood."
"Yeah that would be great." Agreed Hermione. Then an idea dawned across her face.
"Aurora you can sing, I've heard you in the potions lab."
"Really? Go on Aurora. Please." Begged the youngest Weasly.
I signed and said:
"Oh, All right then."
I got up and conjured up a piano. Everyone watched as I sat down, my brow furrowed with concentration. I smiled as I began to play 'Dancing Queen' By ABBA. To my amazement nearly everyone was up dancing.
I heard music, and laughter. It was late, not after curfew, but late all the same. The music was intoxicating, I knew who it was immediately. When I opened the common room door I was greeted by a mass of dancing teenagers. In the middle of the floor stationed at a piano was Aurora. Her blonde hair falling around her face as she played. This was the perfect opportunity, I'd been waiting for a chance to get her alone all year. I walked forward through the dancers to my unsuspecting target.
I grabbed one of her wrists as she turned and said:
"Hey what do you think you're…" She stopped and looked at me, utter horror across her face.
"Get up" I said softly. She obeyed still looking at me with those terrified eyes.
"Everyone out" I commanded.
The room emptied quickly, the only people left were Aurora's group of friends.
"Professor please…"
"Silence, I believe, Zabini , I told everyone to leave."
"But Professor…"
"Get out!" I watched as they reluctantly left.
I was alone with her, I realised I was still holding on to that delicate wrist.
"Professor you're hurting me." She whispered.
I let go, appalled at myself.
"Aurora, are you all right?" I asked. She merely nodded her eyes to the floor.
I gently tilted her chin up and looked into those angelic eyes. I pressed my lips against hers. When I pulled away she looked at me questioningly. I lent in and she closed her eyes in preparation.
"Detention and twenty points from Gryffindor." I said as I turned and walked away.
I stared at him in disbelief, I was still reeling from the kiss. Had it been a kiss? I didn't even know. I watched him leave and I shouted:
"Why you rotten, deceitful…"
"That will be a further ten points I'm afraid Miss Inwé."
He smiled at me as I stood there gaping at him.
"If it's any consolation, you have no idea how beautiful you look right now." He said as he swept out of the room.